this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] FourWaveforms@lemm.ee 1 points 6 days ago

husband looks like if an Amish guy was super into Linkin Park

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 164 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Me wondering what obese has to do with it... "Dailymail" oh... Got it.

[–] doug@lemmy.today 45 points 1 week ago

Somehow it follows us from FB to Twitter to Reddit to here.

[–] Karjalan@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago

Also the bold all caps FIVE... Like, can you beleive an obese person can have multiple people interested in them?

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[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 115 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Was gonna say she did, and that that type has great hair, but top right over here bucking trends. Why did she not have them kill him instead?

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 104 points 1 week ago (3 children)

People who wear orange 😍

[–] Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Orange is the new black?

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[–] rippermonty@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago
[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 75 points 1 week ago (18 children)

She has all her stat points in Charisma.

[–] CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I'm tempted to say: "you do see the same guys i'm seeing?" Doesn't take a lot of charisma, she seems to have caught a bundle of lost souls and used them.

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My fat ass thinking "wow really?! How?!"

then I saw the men... no thanks

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It appears she chooses quantity over quality.

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 1 week ago

the men chose quantity instead of quality too, in a sense

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[–] hobovision@lemm.ee 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

The guy on the bottom right is the only one actually nailing that look.

[–] match@pawb.social 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That's why he's the Husband

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[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)
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[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I hate to read the daily mail, and can only apologise for linking to it but the story is great.

They kept him in a motel for a week, before letting him visit a store where he contacted someone who contacted his mum, to come rescue him ...

The victim was rescued only when his captors allowed him a brief trip to a nearby Speedway convenience store on March 21, as reported by FOX8.

During the moment of freedom, he managed to make contact with someone who then alerted his mother.

'When he was there, he made contact with an individual, who got in contact with the victim's mother,' Sprow explained.
His mother immediately rushed to the Red Roof Inn to rescue her son, and police were called to the scene.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14555247/Obese-woman-FIVE-lovers-ordered-abduct-torture-sixth-man-whod-displeased-her.html

[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The headline seems to imply that the real news is that the "Obese woman" has FIVE lovers

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You have functional eyes? Do you want anyone of those people?

[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 3 points 6 days ago

You're just mad you'd never have 5 lovers

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Bro, they say perpetual motion is impossible, buuuuut, see. These sciency types ain’t had a woman like her.

You just climb up on her and smack your own ass and BAM. Perpetual motion.

All you gotta do is ride the wave after that until you’re finished.

All these Charles Manson lookalikes must have learned about the perpetual motion truth and got excited enough to become love slaves to this trophy of a perpetual motion machine.

I’m telling you bro, it’s like surfing but it smells funny and you’re getting laid.

[–] FourWaveforms@lemm.ee 2 points 6 days ago

muffled "wooba wooba wooba wooba wooba" noises

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Obese woman: I AM DISPLEASED!!!

Lover number 2 scurries in, head low eyes darting around: yes milord

Obese woman: bring me 6's head on a pike, but do it... Slowly.

Lover 2: yes milord backs into the shadows quietly.

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Its always a huge hit to the self esteem when you see people like this with many lovers and I can't even get a date.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

These folks aren’t interested in a date. Depraved sex is to them what collecting old video games is to me.

It’s just a hobby, and they aren’t usually picky or they can’t afford their hobby.

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

You can get a date, if you lower to standards to anyone. No shade, but are you looking to hit up Ms. "obese, unhygienic, multiple kid having, dirty house and stinky 🐱?" Not saying that you should, but if you accept anything, you'll get anything.

[–] Rin@lemm.ee 1 points 6 days ago

For a start, pretty sure none of them know what a lemmy is

[–] dbtng@eviltoast.org 0 points 6 days ago

One of the guys might be free. Gotta get in line for her tho ...

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Two of the men have the same last name and are 26 years apart in age. Are they father and son?

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Short answer: yes

Long answer: also yes.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 5 points 6 days ago

Thanks for explaining that.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In response to the comment in the screenshot.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Also about the comment, i think she was in a Johnny Depp phase, when she built the 4th guy.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 1 week ago

You, too, can be in a polyamorous relationship if you get on meth. Woohoo!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Bottom right had bits of Adrien Brody DNA. Bottom middle had bits of Guillermo del Toro. Husband, maybe Geico Caveman? Top two, I got nothing. Top-middle is like Wish.com Kurt Cobain, maybe. Top-right kinda looks like a former professor of mine, but that's not helpful.

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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 8 points 1 week ago

Stay classy Daily Heil.

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