this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 1 points 9 minutes ago

Yeah you're not touching the fries before touching genitals, just saying.

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 30 minutes ago

Fake: this didn't happen

Gay: annon doesn't hang out with women

[–] Stormdancer@lemmy.world 18 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Girl only wants one thing, and it's disgusting!

[–] sulgoth@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago

Well they're McDonald's fries so you can definately do worse.

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 29 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Good on you, Anon. She was obviously drunk and would be unable to consent.

Who knows, maybe she has high blood pressure and can't properly consent to the fries.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 53 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Just because you're horny, doesn't mean I'm horny. I just bought food. I'm hungry, not horny.

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 34 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 28 seconds ago

hi alt, I'm cottage-core

[–] Uli@sopuli.xyz 90 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Anon made the right call, she only wanted him for his fries, she would have been gone once the fries were gone.

[–] lemmy12369@midwest.social 5 points 5 hours ago

It would been that meme where the top panel: guy has fries Bottom panel: eww hr he has no fries

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 25 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 31 minutes ago

Maybe shes acturally multiple seagulls in a trenchcoat

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 4 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 50 minutes ago) (1 children)

Yes officer this bait right here.

Edit: After further discussion, I don't think they were baiting.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 2 points 5 hours ago (3 children)
[–] beveradb@sh.itjust.works 2 points 36 minutes ago

There was a post on here a few days ago which got a lot of visibility which was a screenshot and/or meme about some guy who massively overreacted to a seagull stealing one of his chips (aka fries in USian), grabbing the seagull by the legs and slamming it into a wall, killing it 😬

I suspect that's what this other person thought your comment was subtly referencing 😅

(for the record I'm British and have had seagulls steal my chips multiple times, they're super bold in the UK and it's really annoying tbh but anyone who reacts by killing one is a psycho)

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

Well maybe your not bating.

Like a seagull. :/

Where did seagull come from, did you have a pet seagull?

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Seagulls are known for stealing food and running (well, flying) off with it.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 51 minutes ago

Well, then, never mind, I thought you were referencing another post. Sorry for the distraction.

[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 hours ago

bro they fly everywhere, nobody knows where a particular seagull came from. replace it with a pigeon if that's more appropriate to your location

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

They’re just outside waiting for fries.

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

~~Well, then never mind, I thought you were refencing another post. Sorry for the distraction.~~

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I’m not the person you were talking to, to be clear. 🤪

[–] deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Darnnit, I need to double check these things.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 hours ago

Haha no worries I do the same thing all the time.

[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 4 hours ago

In case you're serious, I think the :/ conveys feelings of disappointment that seagulls leave you when you run out of fries, which has obvious implications in a romantic context.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 145 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

Fake: Girl is interested in anon

Gay: Anon isn't interested in girl

[–] onionsinmypores@sh.itjust.works 8 points 8 hours ago

This is the one lmao

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 28 points 16 hours ago

Girl is interested in fries.

[–] Uli@sopuli.xyz 12 points 16 hours ago

The prophecy

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 104 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

Fries are usually not going to get you laid. But sharing a couple fries would’ve improved anon’s likability among that girl and maybe her friends, which is probably not a bad thing.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 17 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

But then you go for it and end up with the girlfriend that's "not hungry" till you get your food and then she asks to borrow a fry. And you're like "how's ya gonna borrow a fry, you gonna give it back?"

[–] WhiteBurrito@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

It's missing a word, but if you know the reference, you're hearing the whole quote lol

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 46 points 19 hours ago

Why risk anons virginity like that?

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 64 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

Nah, she gotta get her own fries!

[–] marduk@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Haha, dumbass! You're great 👍🏻

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 27 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

You're not getting my fries!

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] dumbass@quokk.au 10 points 15 hours ago

Do I look like a buffet? Get your own fries!

[–] oce@jlai.lu 37 points 20 hours ago

Is that worth losing fries?

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

No, fuck that! Fast food runs in the AMs while wasted build character, he did her a favour!

Plus those are MY fries until we're an item! You can have half of my burger, though...

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 68 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Anon wouldn't have gotten jackshit even if she gave this woman a french fry buffet, his moves were based and chadpilled.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 18 points 19 hours ago

Never fall prey to the bait!

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 9 points 19 hours ago

Gotta try friesmaxxing

[–] veroxii@aussie.zone 0 points 17 hours ago

It's a tarp!