Saands like we've gorra fackin spy raand 'ere
this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2025
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England need democracy, free speech, and imperial measures NOW
Oi, you got yer internet licence, mate? Can’t be crackin’ these jokes if you ain’t a proper grown-up, innit?
One of 3 jokes.
Its either either :
"loicence"
Haha no spices
Or "bad teeth"
My favorite to poke at is treating anything with a blade on it like it’s a deadly weapon with no other purpose.
Can’t have a locking pocket knife.
There was a group that wanted to ban pointed kitchen knives.
Had a dude tell me he doesn’t carry an axe or saw when camping because it “might scare passersby”
Photos of police “hauls” that show screw drivers and hammers as “deadly weapons that don’t belong on the streets”
So it’s at least 4 jokes.
And here I am walking around the woods with a big-ass machete.
You forgot “bo’oh ‘o wa’er”
Theah's no "r" in wo'uh, bruv
Beg your pardon. Bo’oh o’ wa’ah
I think this is Igbo
Also, sailing away because of their ugly wives and terrible food.
Don't forget the bizarre "r" into everything like drawring, the lawr, etc.
Thats more American in my experience That and completely dropping entire parts of words for absolutely no reason I can understand
Ex. Comfortable somehow becomes comftable. Drawer becomes drawr. Wednesday becomes wensday
People (I'm in the US) are pretty much always astonished to realize, when I ask them to say the word "important", that they more often than not will pronounce zero of the T's in the word, when I point out that they didn't.
It always really stuck out to me as a kid when Shawnee Smith (probably most famous for the Saw movies now), on the old sitcom Becker, would always enunciate the T's in that word—that's what made me realize how weird it was that everyone wasn't saying it that way, lol.
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Apparently, there's some sort of linguistic exchange program within British English where T's are traded out for R's, and then a persistent logistics issue causes the R's to be distributed incorrectly.
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about this important issue... I wonder what Susie Dent thinks of it.
I'm really glad I didn't have to see the word cunt here that would have really ruined my day
This is not the UK Alan Turing died for
Alan didnt die for any UK. He dies because of fascist homophic UK government drove him to suicide.
Yay! You've caught the essence of the joke I tried to make
Don't worry, I got it.
🫂
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Armed units show up and arrest the stabbed bobby for not having a dying license
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