this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 300 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I hired a new employee to start on Tuesday

He came in on Monday

I fired him on the spot

Can't follow simple fucking instructions

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 71 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I hired a guy to start on Monday. He showed up at 8:45.

No Bueno buster, you were expected at exactly midnight because that's when fuckin Monday starts.

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[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 282 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

What an absolute piece of shit coming in 15 minutes early on your scheduled start date.

[–] Lazycog@sopuli.xyz 198 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah. I would have fired them on the spot.

Why?

Because if they came early it means that they not busy enough in their own life.

If life's not a one big hustle for you, you are not even trying.

(/s just incase)

[–] meekah@lemmy.world 60 points 2 weeks ago

This reads like it came straight off of linked in. Perfection.

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[–] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 144 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Assuming this isnt a parody, odds are good the job is a bog standard 40k a year desk job. Also filtering candidates and finding a suitable one takes many peoples' time, which you are wasting if you have invisible criteria revealed on the persons start date.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world 187 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

You mean a fast paced environment?

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 63 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Fucking dream for an office. I just got a table a notebook stand and a monitor. I have to carry the keyboard and mouse with me everywhere.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 40 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shit most places do the “open office” thing where you get a third of this space and less privacy. Everyone can hear everyone’s calls.

And people wonder why employees hate RTO

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Eh, I like our open office workspace. Our desks are large, we each get drawers, and if anyone needs to make a call, they go to a breakout room. Navigating cubicles sucks, and separate offices aren't great either.

That said, I'm a developer, so inviting someone over to my desk to look at something is quite common. We also frequently have impromptu 5-min meetings between rows, and we arrange people so those who will likely need those quick meetings are near each other.

It certainly wouldn't make sense for a call center or something, but it definitely makes sense for a creative, collaborative environment.

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[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 2 weeks ago

I swear HR has a rolodex of dumb filler phrases to put into job ads. The kind that are vague enough that nobody can specifically call them out on it later.

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[–] scytale@piefed.zip 133 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

I once had a conversation with a dude in the waiting room at the doctor's clinic. He said he purposely delayed in-person interviews for up to an hour sometimes so he can "judge" how the applicant reacts and show their dedication to getting the job. I pretty much stopped engaging after he said that. Fortunately I was called up shortly.

[–] yeahiknow3@lemmy.dbzer0.com 93 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Always tell these people that they’re despicable to their face. It’s the only way to change their toxic culture.

[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 22 points 2 weeks ago

Abusers will try to lash out and I enjoy that 🐸

[–] Waldelfe@feddit.org 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So he's pissing off all the great candidates who have better options.

[–] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago

Seems that he is confusing desperation for dedication. The only people who are going to wait for an hour are those who have no other choice.

It seems to me that he is really testing their ability to put up with his bullshit more than anything. One of my biggest pet peeves professionally is respect for the time of others.

Wow, that's terrible. If I'm not there 5 min early to perform your interview, I'll apologize. Being on-time to something like that just invites time-wasting things like kicking the previous group out of the interview room or whatever.

An interview should be a 2-way deal, I'm representing the company and trying to find a good fit for the role, and you're trying to decide whether the company is a good fit for you. If I'm late to an interview, I expect any self-respecting candidate to leave after 15 min, and I wouldn't be surprised if they left after 5. I'm the one looking to fill a role, you're just here to see if it suits you, so it's on me to give the good impression IMO.

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[–] exu@feditown.com 131 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If the agreement says to come in on Tuesday, you're arguably trespassing when you force your way in in Monday.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 45 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 40 points 2 weeks ago

"Yes, I broke in the office at 4AM in a Sunday but that was only because I'm DEDICATED"

[–] LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world 128 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

Gotta love the fake power trip stories on LinkedIn. Cringe fest.

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[–] asg101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 80 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds like the employee dodged a bullet there.

Wood chippers for all the bosses.

[–] CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one 31 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Would have, if it were real. Hiring people is a bitch. You don't ditch people because they're not psychic psychos.

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[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 74 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)
[–] the_q@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is yes, but also 100% possible.

[–] hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

it doesn't matter if it's real, it only matters if it confirms my biases

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[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 68 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah, show up a day early to your office job, and find out that they don't have the system set-up for you to be there. Then go home, while everyone there thinks you got the start day wrong.

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[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 65 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This is toxicity manifest.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

And not even a succulent Chinese meal to compensate...

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[–] CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one 17 points 2 weeks ago

It's also a made-up story to make people think the poster is HUSTLE PRIME

[–] thedruid@lemmy.world 62 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

Why censore the account name? They put it out publicly to be shared.

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 57 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Why is the name censored? This is someone who wanted to post it public with their face attached. Let them. It's not like it's a private Facebook group.

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[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 51 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hillariously, I've tried this a few times. Either security wouldn't let me in, or I couldn't clock-in ... no matter what, they didn't pay for the time, or at least not the whole shift.

(vs OOP): Sure, encourage me to realize you aren't worth working for before you have any idea what I can really do.

[–] dnick@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Showing up a few minutes early to work could make sense, but showing up a day early? WTF? Why would someone possibly tell you to start work on Tuesday unless there was some reason Monday intentionally wouldn't work? I mean ffs, either you won't be in the system, keys aren't ready, your friggin co-workers may not be ready, no desk... And you want to show up a friggin day early and make someone babysit you on top of their regular job?

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[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 49 points 2 weeks ago

Reminds me of the Team Fortress 2 Expiration Date animation.

Spy: Final Question... You have a dinner date for seven... what time do you arrive?

Scout: Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

Spy: You're ready.

Scout: Really?

Spy: No. Everything you just said was insane... and, we are out of time. Congratulations. You're a failure.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My employee came for his pay check. I fired him on the spot. I don't respect people who only work for money.

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[–] Baked86@lemmy.world 39 points 2 weeks ago

Why is it blurred? I don't get why people try protect scummy companies.

[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 38 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

I hope this is Ken Chang or what's his name.

[–] ZeDoTelhado@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Considering the name is censored, doubt it

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[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 38 points 2 weeks ago

I would have reverse-fired my future ex-boss. 'Monday? That was my day off after working 80 hours this week-end (I spent this day off doing research obviously). I was there on Sunday at 3:00 AM and couldn't see you so I took the liberty of making you redundant'

-- drolex, AI-evangelist and crypto-blockchain entrepreneur/guru, CEO and ninja

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 34 points 1 week ago

"I wanted my employee to do something I didn't ask for so I fired them when they did exactly what I asked."

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

job requirement:

  • mind reading
[–] TomMasz@piefed.social 20 points 2 weeks ago

Did he dodge a bullet? Yes

[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

For $20-30/hr? Unless it's a 6 figures never expect this effort from anything.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 20 points 2 weeks ago (27 children)

Figures don’t matter. If your pay comes with a check stub, you do your job, and then go home.

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[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hope he got his car keyed and his tires slashed

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