this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 105 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Wow. That looks violently delicious.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 weeks ago

It looks practically pregnant with murderous potential

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That looks very unhealthy. I want it.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Have you seen what most of us Americans eat!?

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey, everything in moderation, including moderation

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 6 points 2 weeks ago

Please don't moderate my moderation!

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[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I have never tasted a meatball that size that wasn't poorly cooked.

and the ones that I haven't tasted but have seen looked dry as fuck

I am skeptical

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[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't want to imagine that cereal mascot

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[–] Jackusflackus@lemmy.world 54 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Aaah, giant meatball. The hallmark of a D grade Italian restaurant.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

This isn't necessarily true. Italian meatballs are usually small, but polpette alla Napoletana are often on the larger side. You just need to be discerning. (The one pictured looks pretty mid and still too big.)

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Christ, that website has five layers of shit in the way.

[–] three@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] tja@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

With ublock I still got two layers

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[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 4 points 2 weeks ago

With my ublock, I got 3 popups. You're not kidding.

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fake: No. Anon went with their parents. Gay: No. Less than two balls present.

[–] coffee_tacos@mander.xyz 15 points 2 weeks ago

Fake: anon left the house. Gay: anon wanted more balls

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Did it roll right out the door?

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I always thought that song was so sad until recently when i looked up the full lyrics to the song and realized it had a happy ending.

The song was a parody of "On top of old smoky" and it was popularized by Tom Glazer who sang the song in 1963.

The lyrics he sang was

On top of spagetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed

It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor.
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door

It rolled in the garden and under a bush.
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,
And early next summer it grew to a tree.

The tree was all covered with beautiful moss.
It grew great big meatballs and tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball and don't ever sneeze.

[–] xspurnx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

First thought this was a Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference - but this is much better. Thanks!

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

That looks like the meatball they didn't expect anyone to order.

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's just a round meatloaf.

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

No, a meatloaf is early Borg protein, this is advanced Borg protein.

We are fed.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 weeks ago

Meatballs like that are a common dish in the Netherlands (gehaktbal). But mostly served with potatoes and vegetables. Or as a snack, cut in slices with onion slices in between and with peanut sause (bere bal or bere hap, bear ball or bear snack).

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 weeks ago

I ate dinner at a friend's house way back when I was in middle school (not like overtly Italian, pretty WASP-y), and his parents made spaghetti and meatballs, and the meatballs were about this size. I remember the meal being pretty delicious though.

Why the fuck do I even remember this bullshit?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

The question is whether it’s actually cooked. I don’t even know how long that meatball would need to sit, cooking in sauce. Small meatballs require 15 minutes to drink in the flavor but only 10 to cook completely through. This monster needs at least an hour on medium-low for a pink center. Is that even safe? How long can you let bacteria live in pleasant warmth and multiply before turning dangerous? Not to mention the lack of char, meaning this is just a boiled meatball with the texture of boiled meatball.

[–] dmention7@midwest.social 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Whenever I've made homemade meatballs, we just bake them in the oven to cook, then either add to the sauce or serve separately.

I guess you'd just cook this monster like a lil meatloaf.

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[–] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I would guarantee this thing is overcooked to hell, dry as a paper towel in the center. It probably swam in day-old red sauce in a pot for 90 minutes to prevent lawsuits, then cooled off, cooking another 20 holdover minutes. Then into the fridge to be microwaved when anon orders it.

[–] nuggsy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

My nan got a recipe from this Italian lady, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. The recipe says to cook the sauce for one hour and then you add the meatballs and cook them for 1.5 hrs.

[–] LOLseas@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You must giveth the recipeth hereth noweth.

[–] nuggsy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Sure! As requested

It says to roll into small balls, but small could be anything depending on context.

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

God damn it why did I click that link. I knew better but now im hungry!

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[–] cook_pass_babtridge@feddit.uk 13 points 2 weeks ago

Tablecloth checks out.

[–] blackbeards_bounty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Betting this is (was?) Buca di Beppo. God I miss that place

[–] wieson@feddit.org 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Americans only know chain restaurants smh in sadness

[–] TheGreenWizard@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They were just expressing they have fond memories of eating at a restaurant, calm down lol

[–] wieson@feddit.org 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I am not at all agitated, I truly feel for them. It is not their fault.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, I could mention local restaurants, but:

  1. That would dox my location
  2. You wouldn't recognize them anyway
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[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

What restaurant, though. That looks fantastic.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

dude there's a... you know i always thought it was a chinese place but now i'm not so sure. at very least it was a southeast asian restaurant i used to live down the street from, and they had this meatball over rice they'd serve. i eyeballed it lustfully every time someone would order it but never worked up the courage. maybe in two weeks i'll ask the wife

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