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Popular to bully. I was curious about everything. I wanted to learn things. My favorite book was a science encyclopedia, and I was always eager to help others understand something.
My classmates always came to me with questions during class. I got trashed and bullied during break or after school. I basically had no friends.
Nope. In high school I was in the same class of all the popular kids (the popular kids of other classes would always come and hang out with our class) but I would not consider myself part of the popular kids of the class. I would have much better have fun with the kids of the "nerdier" classes😅. Anyways they were all super nice, friendly and would also often invite me to hang out with them, eventhough I was not part of the in group. I personally always enjoyed the most hanging out with my core friend group.
I mostly hung out with some of the "weird" kids. I think it was 5th or 6th grade when I decided that I wanted to hang out with the popular kids, and I guess I managed to succeed, because a year or two later, one of my classmates told me how popular I had been. I never felt popular though, and the time I spent trying to be popular was just constant stress because almost everyone else in that group is also worried about being accepted.
I guess
No. I was the weird gutter-goth kid who was either terrifying or called the f-slur depending on who you asked. I had friends but it was a small circle of people who shared my interests. I still talk to most of them 20+ years later.
I was popular within my niche, the nerds who were racking up all sorts of college credit and high standardized test scores while taking the most academically challenging classes offered by my school. Dated a bit, usually could get a group together in any given weekend night to hang out, could always find a group to watch rented movies or play pickup sports or play video games with (this was before home broadband so people had to lug their desktop computers to someone's house for a LAN party).
There was some exposure to the athletes (most of the athletes at my high school were pretty good students), the arts and theater types, goth types, etc., but I never felt that there was a true hierarchy in popularity of the different groups, just people sorting into what they preferred. I hung out with my friends, and I was one of more popular kids within my particular group. I had a blast.
I sympathize a lot with the song “Mr. Popular” by Double A-Ron. I had almost no friends my first two years, then suddenly half the school knew me my last two years. I still didn’t get invited to anything very often, and when I did no one actually wanted to interact with me. But people knew/thought that I was popular because tons of people would stop to say hi or whatever to me.
Edit to add: Actually in my last year there, one of my teachers had taken note of my “popularity” particularly with girls. Referred to me as a “modern day Casanova” and asked for advice on what gift to get his wife. I had had girlfriends but buying anniversary gifts for a wife was a bit out of my wheelhouse lol
Popular people didn't see themselves as popular, they just had a lot of friends from their perspective. Social structures are only really visible from the bottom-up.
I wasn't popular, but I could easily drift from one clique/group to the next and was generally accepted by all. I didn't get invited to hang out all the time, but enough times that I didn't feel like I was being excluded entirely.
Most certainly not.
Just as the "new kid"....
My school was very divided, not only socially, but geographically within the school.
The Jocks hung out in hallway by the gym, the Freaks hung out in the smoking courtyard or the cafeteria, the Artists hung out in the Art rooms, the Straights were always in a class. I was a Bandfag, so I hung out in the band room. There wasn't much cross-over, except in classes, and even then, differing groups didn't interact much.
Among the Bandfags, I was definitely a leader, and was very popular. I doubt many people in the rest of the school knew who I was, though.
This was back in the late 70s, when annual class sizes were huge due to the post-war baby boom. I had over 800 kids in my class, and there were more than 2000 in my high school of only 3 grades (10, 11, 12). So nobody was popular in the whole school, just among their group.
I was part of a quartet that always hung out together. I don’t know if I would list myself as popular in high school but I had a good social scene.
One of the four of us went to a different school, so my groups social scene had a cross section from both schools.
Also two of 4 were one year ahead of me and one was a year behind me, so again we had a cross section of classes.
I wasn’t a big athlete or anything that is the stereotypical popular person but I never lacked for companionship and generally had invites to the major social events.
Also where I went to school there were pretty distinct groups, the PWT red neck crowd and the more well to do crowd. Again I transcended both major groups.
I think the best way I can describe it is, I had a social life when I was in high school but it was outside of high school.
Among nerds like me I guess, in that I had a lot of friends and we took over a hallway during lunch. I didn't care about popularity or try to attain it however.
That and I was disillusioned at a young age, so I was more interested in exploiting their stupid credits system and only attended high school half the day by 2nd semester grade 11 and all of 12 making sure I had exactly the minimal amount of credits to graduate on purpose. I stuck around for lunch because it was fun/social.
Nope. It was the 60/70’s and I had untreated ADHD. I was the weird one pretty much to anyone. Family later in life called me uncle nutsy.
Was not medically diagnosed until very recently. I got tested to confirm for myself and self knowing. My paternal family all gone now but at least I know for myself.
Edit typo
I am sure there was a sense of relief to the part of you that always blamed you for the perceived inadequacies.
Definitely a relief. Was only a couple weeks ago. Still trying to wrap my head around it.
Never been treated in my life. Is it too late to try meds, therapy or whatever the treatment regime is. Is it worth it at my age etc etc even if it’s just for a bit to see. Gonna take some time.
Treatment comes in many forms and can differ very widely from person to person.
Even if you don't find the help you want right away, you know about it at least.
Enjoy your somewhat guilt free life. 👋
lol.
lmao
I def was not popular. Introverted, into anime, video games, metal and classical music, was in the band.
Was definitely one of the weird kids, I was nice enough, but I don’t really get people, so ended up having a small group of tight knit friends and that’s was about it. :3
Sounds similar to me in some ways, I think a small group of friends like that is better though. A few of us a still quite close and catch up regularly so I call that a win vs being generally popular.
No, I think I scared people.
I was bullied at every school I went to. Growing up an undiagnosed autistic girl was not easy. I managed to make a few friends when I got to a bigger school because we were all outcasts together, but that wasn't until I was 16 and almost done school. Even after I stood up to my bully when I was 15 I still got tortured at the small town school before that.
TBH I still don't know how to make friends today and my only friend is one of the ones I managed to dupe into liking me when I was 16 lol
I relate to the friend problem too much. Last friend I made was ~15 years ago.
I made a friend, she was like a sister to me for 12 years. Our families lived together for almost a decade, I was a surrogate for her, we were family. Earlier this year she went on a racist tirade and when I wasn't ok with it she stopped talking to me. Now I'm scared to try making friends again.
The friend I kept from high school may be distant now, but at least she's consistent and out expectations of each other are equal: don't be an asshole, see you next year.
In middle/high school, most likely not popular but never really bullied. At least from what I remember. And I think the only time I was really kinda bullied a little in elementary school, my dumb autistic ass didn't get it and it may have backfired.
I’d say I was? I got along with most everyone and it wasn’t uncommon for me to walk around during lunch break and most people to recognize me
I wasn't popular, I don't think I was unpopular either, I was certainly a bad kid though.
Was kicked out of class a lot and used to pick on people and get into fights.
I also used to get picked on by others so I've no real sense where I stood.
I'm still friends with people from school over 15 years later and I'm married to the girl I sat next to in English who i routinely got kicked put of class
I'm kind of in the same boat I think. I definitely wasn't one of the "popular" kids, I didn't play sports and was a pretty average student. I had a smallish friend group, 5-10 of us; we had a big bench at the end of a hall by a window we "claimed" and hung out at.
I had a couple specific people that bullied me. It wasn't until about a decade ago I realized there were a few people who actually did see me as mean and a bully. It put things in perspective and gave me a lot to think about.
Yes although no one actually cared about me just what entertainment I provided. I was the only openly gay dude for miles. People pretended to actually like me but they just liked being able to say they had a gay friend or liked the novelty of me or whatever. Not a single person knew anything about me other than the fact that I was gay. I've met some of them since and they didn't even recognize me. Like clear recollections of everyone else but then "Who are you?"
Lesson learned real young that people don't often care about you. Just what you can provide. Once that's used up....
And when I say popular I do mean it. I don't want to sound arrogant but I got constant invites and offers, especially from deeply closeted sports dudes. And it wasn't just with classmates. Teachers often liked me because I also paid attention and was a bit of a nerd and able to riff without going overboard. What a shocker that I ended up doing stand up
I didn't go to that kind of school. My graduating class was 47 people; about a third of us had been together since kindergarten. We all got along, how could we not?
I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t unknown either. I was that kid that kind of fit into any group and had my friends/connections. Graduating class was close to 500.
Yea and no. I was by no means the guy everyone wanted to hang out with. But I did know and hang out with and eclectic collection of people. I got along with everyone. Probably because I thought and still think most people are cool in their own right and you just gotta find that for them.
I was an outcast, no one interacted with except to harass me
Only after I "fought" my bully and made them cry by not being hurt by their punches and laughing at how weak they were.
I tried to fight a bully two times. Neither one ended well. Turns out, sometimes they’re not cowards.
I guess? I'm a chatty ADHD enjoyer, I was friends or at least had good relationships with most of the kids in my class of 135 lads. And I'm still happy to meet up with them when possible, since I left my home country a decade and a half ago and I love seeing how they've grown and are today prosocial, responsible, mature men but are still somehow the same people they were so many years ago, and it's like time barely changed us. 🥲❤️
No. But I wasn't significantly unpopular either. I got along with most of my classmates, but lacking any shared interests I mostly kept to myself.
Why does it matter to you?
