this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

People are feeling all kinds of pressure these days. If they want to have kids they need a lot of resources. But having a lot of resources is really difficult to do when you’re young. So that naturally suggests a compromise: one old with resources and one young with health.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Wait, but I thought men hated "gold diggers"? And also, that's the result of our fucked up late stage capitalism economic system and not how things should work. A young couple should be able to afford to live comfortably and have children if they want.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago

People make life choices based on how things are, not how they ought to be.

Generally a “gold digger” refers to a young woman who marries an elderly rich man with the intent of gaining a large inheritance, not a young woman who marries an established (but still working) man a few decades her senior with the intent of raising a family. A big “gold digger tell” is that the rich guy already has adult children who end up in a feud with his new young wife (because she represents a threat to their inheritance).

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 18 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…

I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

really just garbage man-children

It's a green-text, we knew that from the get-go

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Yes, but even people who don’t go online much, even people I actually do care about in my own life, still fall into that category. The people I care about tend to be much nicer and wouldn’t call someone a hag but they do lack a certain level of maturity. Green-text makes it near certain but it’s a “not all rectangles are squares” situation.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Oh 100%. I knew a guy that was my age, that was always trying to date younger, because no women our age would deal with his bullshit. So... I guess I do understand, huh.

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 hours ago

For real. When I was 24, I dated a 19 year old for like two weeks. They were really nice and interesting, but ultimately the age gap proved to make a relationship unviable. I can't even imagine a nine year gap at that age. Gross.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, i'd like to date someone that much older than me.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Why? (Genuine question if you feel like sharing) Like, I too prefer older partners, but not that much older.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 44 minutes ago

Honestly, because i'm a 20 something year old man with no life experiences and I don't know how to survive on my own. Someone older with more experience who would be willing to teach me would be nice. It's a big ask I guess. I don't really know what else to do. I'm lonely and i'd like to meet someone kind, caring, and beautiful who can be a friend, lover, and teacher if you will. I haven't told anyone this because it makes me sound desperate and like a lost cause.

[–] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 hours ago

As an adult for most dating your peers is preferable to dating younger adults. I don't want to hear "So what was the gas crisis like?" on a date ever again (IDK what it was like I was 3).

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 28 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

His date:

Source: Brainrot Girlfriend

Bonus:

[–] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 16 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Love that we're making imaginary [gen-z/gen alpha/gen whatever the hell arbitrary title] the same way our parents and grandparents made imaginary millennials to get mad at.

The Silent Generation called their kids "Generation Me"

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago

The Silent Generation was correct.

[–] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 hours ago

It was "The 'Me' Generation" not "Generation Me". Generation ____ starts with Copeland's Generation X book.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 9 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
> be me 34
> decide to look for a hag around my age
> most of them have at least one kid, usually the annoying kind, and only see you as a babysitter
> same ones are also super focused on their kids, no hobbies, no interests, no life
> most of them seem to be super conservative
> some of them are so bigoted they can only talk about "those people"
> finally found someone who's bearable for more than 20 minutes
> never mind, she's alcoholic
> finally found someone not alcoholic and is bearable for even more time
> never mind, she's both 300+km away and also married
How do I find hot singles on the fediverse? I'm not reinstalling Tinder!
[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I tried that with Reddit. Parents cockblocked me. Had nothing but my missed life to think about in the meantime, so my mental health slips, and I ask who besides Serial killers and rapists deserves to die (looking for a description of myself in the answers).

Implying someone's life is worth more than others is a big no no on Reddit.

Get permabanned for inciting violence.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Nothing but your missed life? You can live a lot of life without a romantic partner, as much I very much understand it can still feel lonely at times.

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 10 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (2 children)

OP is still on 4chan. Lingo aside I'd say he's in his maturity range.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago

4channers should probably just stay out of the dating pool entirely.

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 8 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (2 children)

Also 19 and 28 are both still Gen Z.

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[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 28 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (2 children)

And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.

They have nothing in common. There's no way. It's pure physical attraction above all else.

Edit: Seemingly a lot of older people down voting this are in denial about how much they have in common with some 18 year old girl/guy as a romantic partner. You understand you're not fooling anyone, right? Not even other people like you. Underneath, you all know what you're about.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 31 points 10 hours ago

Or both sides like to learn from each other and grow towards each other over time?

There are worse reasons why an extreme age gap is seen as creepy, "not knowing each others interests" is not one of them.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 22 points 10 hours ago (9 children)

I'm 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (4 children)

Yeah, I’m in my mid 30’s and my best friend is nearing 50. His oldest child is the same age as my younger brother. Believe it or not, people can have common interests that aren’t entirely reliant on their age.

Though I will say that age becomes less relevant as you get older… A 29 year old dating a 19 year old is pretty universally creepy, but few people would say the same about a 49 year old dating a 39 year old. Same age gap, but it’s assumed that the 39 year old has enough life experience to actually make their own decisions. Even in my mid-20’s, I was looking at 19 year olds as if they were literal children. There’s a lot of maturing that happens in the late teens and early 20’s.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

You mean in the late 20's and early 30's. Not a lot of maturing until 25.

Edit: this assumes middle-european living and cultural conditions.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 2 points 6 hours ago

That depends on a lot of factors, e.g. whether they go to college or start working or doing trades directly after highschool.

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[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Sure, but there's a difference between hanging out with some 20 year olds, and being romantically involved with them.

The latter requires a hell of a lot of maturity and being in a similar place in life to deal with things life throws at you. The former just requires laughing at some meme together you both find funny.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Agreed! But we had solid conversations, deep and involved. I was astonished at how mature and educated they were, forgot what I was like at that age.

I've found papers I wrote for school in my teens, thought, "Oh boy, this is gonna be some bullshit." Read them and was surprised at my understanding of the world!

Guess my point is, I will never undersell the youth, not ever again. Dating someone half my age, meh, can't really see it, but I do see it as possible for some.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

That's fair, and I would never say that youth are idiots or shouldn't be listened to. That's not true at all, I think they can have many valuable things to contribute to society, the conversation, the world, etc.

I'm strictly speaking about them as a romantic partner with such an age gap, especially one that starts when they're 17/18 and the person they're dating is in their 30's or more. Nobody can convince me that that would be an equal relationship for both parties. I've attempted it in my late 20's dating a few 18/19 year olds, and then again attempted it in my mid 30's and it was a significantly worse experience.

They weren't bad people in any way, or stupid, or immature in the pop-culture sense of the word. But the relationship was never going to work out, and it was because no matter which way you slice it, a mid 30's man and a 19 or 20 year old girl are not at the same place in life. If they are, then it's the older person who never grew up and is still behaving like a teenager.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

All agreed! At 52 I considered a relationship with a 26-yo friend. If she didn't have 3 tiny children, maybe? But no, just couldn't see it working. I'd be 80 and her at 54? I'd be robbing her of her youth when she could have had a younger man to share that life with.

Funny enough, my Filipino wife is 6-months older than I, and she was fucking horrified to learn that. Her friends are all married to white dudes 20+ years older. Cultural thing. :)

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[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

I dated a 19 year old at 22 and even in that relatively minor gap there was palpable divide in mindset and priorities. I was looking to start a career and get my life established. She graduated high school a few month prior to turning 19 and just wanted to get high and watch musicals.

[–] vane@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

Maybe she was rich and could stay high and watch musicals for the rest of her life. What a lucky girl she was.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 11 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

That's the mindset of plenty of people at 25 or 30 even. I think personal development/priorities are to blame more so than the age gap

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 points 6 hours ago

I consider 25 to be scrapping the bottom of the barrel for dating. I'm 29

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