Instead of nihilism, which says there is no meaning, why not think about positive nihilism, where there is no meaning except for the meaning you create. It offers you an opportunity to define what’s important and gives you permission to create your own joy and happiness.
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
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Mental Health
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First of all, she's a bad mother if she regrets having you because you were "not obedient enough."
Regarding your main topic of this post: There are a lot of things that happen "by accident" every day, both good and bad. Sometimes a baby doesn't survive the pregancy because of an accident outside the mothers control. Should the baby have existed, same as the condom that broke should have not produced one? My point is, there is always two sides to an accident.
Personally, it makes no sense dwelling in the what-if, simply because it didn't happen, and you could not change it if you wanted. However, you can take it as inspiration going forward, and change your future decisions. Maybe you weren't planning on a child, but this experience influenced you and you decide to no longer make it an accident.
I am literally an accident.
Over here in idiot, white trash, just barely lucked out enough to be raised in a house instead of a trailer park, beautiful glorious and perfect and GOD FEARING... USA.
I am the reason my parents got married while my mother was approximately 5 months pregnant, why my parents spent the vast majority of my life lying to me and others about when their actual anniversiary date is...
All you have to do is compare it to my birth date.
... I am not angry or disappointed that I exist.
I am not angry or disappointed that I am an accident.
... I am angry and disappointed that my parents are lying hypocrites, who persisted in this lie (amongst many others) for nearly 30 years, I am angry that they suddenly got religion when neither of them are from very religious families and decided to become religious extremists, pretend they always were, and raise me in that way, to overcompensate for their own shame which I literally embody.
Cruel as this may sound: At least your mother was/is honest in her callousness, as opposed to a lying coward like mine.
... I cannot believe I am going to this quote, but I really do honestly find it compelling.
From the first Pokemon movie, Mewtwo:
I see now that the circumstances of one's birth is irrelevent, it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
What is life?
Life is the meaning and connections and knowledge and wisdom and experiences you construct out of the chaos around you.
Nothing guarantees you will succeed at anything or find joy or purpose or love.
... But nothing guarantees those things are all impossible, either.
I tend to go with tolerating existence out of a morbid sense of curiosity.
It's natural to feel this way sometimes, especially when things are getting rocky around the world.
I feel like we often place the emphasis on the 'why' of ourselves, when the truth of things is the world is often chaotic and without particular intent.
It's a bit of a mindset shift, but if you find yourself engulfed with the prospect of needing purpose or justification to the point of debilitation, it might be time to start leaning into the idea that while you can give yourself meaning, nobody really has intrinsic purpose. None of us consented to existence before it was asserted onto us, nobody was born with a script.
Regarding what your mother said, that's really rough, and it's only natural that you might feel some existential weirdness from it. I don't know her, so I can't really put what she said into context or understand, much less lessen that blow. Regardless, her opinion of you doesn't determine your right or reason to exist, or what you do with yourself from here. I know just saying it doesn't magically reprogram your brain, but given time you can readjust how you think about your existence. It'll take a bit of practice and positive thinking, but you might start to see results sooner than you might think.
Create something useful and you will have an adequate (and pleasant to you) answer to the question from the title.