I like to say "don't flatter yourself" when somebody says something self-demeaning
Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
"I love how you can just wear whatever."
"I don't care what anyone says, I think you're alright."
this is one fits what I had in mind the closest
especially since alright can mean good or mediocre
You can add a bit of extra zing by using 'everyone else' instead of 'anyone'.
See you later!
Not if I see you first.
"I love that you're not afraid to say just whatever comes to you."
The ol uncle Iroh
"Wisdom has been chasing you all your life but you have always been faster"
Bad sarcasm me and my friends do
Any response to "ive been thinking" that is shocked. Like "Wow. And?" Or "good for you"
or any form of "yeah, youre getting there"
Basically rember that perfection is impossible and that comparison is the thief of joy but be a dick lol
Any response to "ive been thinking"
I usually quickly respond "you okay?" in a concerned tone.
I'm sure both of you enjoy that joke
Whenever my wife says anything along the lines of “I’ve been thinking”, my go-to response is always “do I need to call the church?”
🤣
One I came across in a novel I'm reading just now: "I wanted to tell her how happy she must be as a married woman now that she no longer have to bother with looking attractive".
This works only in Dutch. I used to work in the service industry, where every now and then you'd have rude or ungrateful people.
In Dutch, the formal way of saying 'thank you' is 'Dank u', but that's very close in pronunciation to French 'dans cul', meaning 'in the ass'.
So with people I secretly loathed I would thank them with an ever so slight French twang.
In the Southern United States men will do this with Northern men passing through. Mumbling yes ma'am instead of yes man.
Real cuntish if you ask me, I think they need a taste of their own medicine.
that’s great
You're at the top of the bell curve!
The best part is that it isn't really an insult.
Statistically speaking, any given person is most likely to be near the peak of the bell curve of a given thing.
Someone being offended by it means that they think they're above average, and you think they're average. There's nothing wrong with being average...most people are.
Which always reminds me of a saying: When you're trying to comprehend human behavior you need to remember how dumb the average human is... Then remember that half of humans are dumber than that.
You seem like management material.
Like middle management if you want to get extra spicy and yet still subtle
Try to channel your best Ron Swanson while saying it.
Well, not terribly subtle, but if you are fighting with your spouse and they complain that you never say anything nice about their family, you can respond with:
"Well, I have to say that your in-laws are better than my in-laws"
Some I've collected over the years.
- "At this point, you can only impress me."
- "My opinion of you can only go up from here"
- "The bar was on the ground and you brought a shovel."
-
"Would you think less of me if ____." "I could never think less of you."
-
Britta says "nobody respects me any less as a political activist, right?"
Long pause...
Jeff: "the level to which we respect you as a political activist has definitely not changed"
-
- “You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die”
- Unencumbered by the thought process.
- "I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling." - Malcolm Reynolds
- "My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." Malcolm Reynolds
- "You're the reason we have warning labels."
- "They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place."
- "It's impossible to underestimate you."
-
"Don't underestimate me." "I couldn't possibly."
-
- "If you were half as smart as you think you are, you’d be twice as smart as you really are."
- "If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid."
- "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
- "May I ask what's on your mind, if you'll forgive the overstatement?"
- "You could hide your own Easter eggs."
- "I can explain it again, if you'd like, but I can't understand for you."
- "He is a modest man with much to be modest about."
- "I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong"
- "Your secret is safe with my indifference."
How are any of these SUBTLE
I think that greatly depends on to whom you are speaking.
You could hide your own Easter eggs.
Actually lol'd at this one. After snorting that is.
"I've never heard anyone express an option like that out loud before."
"What a unique approach to the problem!"
"I bet you played football in highschool, right?"
"Has anyone ever told you that you'd look good in a uniform?"
It's a good thing you're pretty.
"I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are"
Awe thanks!
You're excused
The series Ted Lasso is chock full of these, but my favorite was after Jade meets Rupert and he leaves, she says, "Well, he seems rich."
Like it almost sounds like a compliment, but only if you lack the self-awareness and empathy of someone who isn't rich.
The only one I've ever pulled off on the spur of a moment unintentionally is when my asshole stepdad broke his foot and I ended up casually quipping to him, "you gotta work hard in order to get a leg up in the world".
I also just remembered that I later told him he's got to put his foot down on some issue his job was complaining about.
(i subtlety downvoted you)
And misspelled "subtly"? You're really typing with both fists today!
Me do good?
I envy those who have never met you
Good go to