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The fine art of writing a resume (lemmy.today)

submitted 11 months ago by MacNCheezus@lemmy.today to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world

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[+] AeroLemming@lemm.ee 65 points 11 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] massacre@lemmy.world 34 points 11 months ago

As a hiring manager, I see right through this bullshit, it has grown entirely too tedious at this point and it never goes past that initial review. Brevity and pointed accomplishments are so refreshingly rare, they get top billing. Consistently.

[-] Sheeple@lemmy.world 37 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You say that, yet most hiring managers won't look at non embellished resumes as studies and even interviews have shown

It's good that you are more keen on genuine resumes- it saves effort and precious time on both ends- but unfortunately most aren't

[-] massacre@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Then genuinely they have no business hiring people. Which probably won't surprise you.

[-] Sheeple@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I mean you won't find me disagreeing with ya. It's just how it is unfortunately.

And as long as managers tend to be incompetent like that, you'll unfortunately be swamped with embellished resumes.

Your effort is much appreciated, but don't get angry at the people making the resumes for being forced to play a messed up game that wastes their time.

[-] KepBen@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago

These are the ones trying to be honest who don't know what you want. The liars already know to keep it simple, just how you like it.

[-] massacre@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Not giving my age or career away, but I've done hundreds and hundreds of interviews. If they snow me based on their resume, they are very unlikely to do so on their interview. I may be an outlier, but I don't regret any of the hires I've made over the years as a result.

[-] greenskye@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago

Ah but the question is what does the AI filtering software prefer that looks at everyone's resume before it ever reaches the hiring manager? Just making it to an actual human is a major hurdle these days.

[-] AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Exactly. Hiring managers want us to stop using AI to write our resumes, they should stop using AI to filter them. Fair is fair.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

Agreed. That bullshit should be in the cover letter.

The resume should be clear, clean, and concise.

[-] affiliate@lemmy.world 51 points 11 months ago

if you want to say that you told someone else to change a light bulb you could write:

oversaw the rapid deployment of a new environmental illumination system in accordance with all existing industry health and safety regulations.

[-] snugglesthefalse@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

Ah but you could use that wording anyway to leave it ambiguous because you technically oversaw the work by performing it single-handedly with no external oversight

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

You were a team leader

[-] thantik@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago

I'm not writing a fanfic just to get hired by your god damn company.

[-] Azzu@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago

Then you might be either lucky or currently homeless.

[-] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 38 points 11 months ago

Bold of you to assume I had zero safety incidents...

[-] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

Adapted to changing conditions, recovered from unexpected downtime

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 8 points 11 months ago

[-] Goodtoknow@lemmy.ca 17 points 11 months ago

Over the weekends, I demonstrated adeptness in the strategic incorporation of vaporized botanicals for cognitive enhancement, complemented by the consummate management of nutritional intake through artisan-crafted, tuber-derived consumables.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 7 points 11 months ago

Sorry, we need someone with expertise in dairy based frozen desserts.

[-] Cannacheques@slrpnk.net 1 points 11 months ago

Absolute class craft consumables only hahaha

[-] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

That's obviously a misleading resume.

He must have used both hands.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 10 points 11 months ago

[-] Ilflish@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Zero safety incidents

No one's gonna believe that, gotta make it at least a little realistic

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 11 months ago

I mean, how badly can you fuck up changing a lightbulb?

[-] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

If you happen to be uninstalling an old light that has mercury or whatever toxic things are in it you could poison yourself if you break it.

[-] Texas_Hangover@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

Don't get me started on those stupid ass "open architecture" or whatever the fuck they call it with lightbulbs on a celing 40 fucking feet above a flight of stairs...

[-] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Provided leadership and experience guiding me employees through a complex project. Also created a technical manual covering the implementation for the next team.

[-] wieson@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

guiding me employees

Arrr drink up me hearties yo ho

[-] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 11 months ago

What if I had help tho?

[-] 1024_Kibibytes@lemm.ee 21 points 11 months ago

Then you write "lead team in managing" whatever

[-] Emerald@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Image Transcription: Twitter Posts

consigliere, @moyodre

How would you write "I changed a light bulb" on your resume?

M, @MuyiwaSaka

Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023

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