Just put a traffic cone on it. It's apparently much worse for american children to see a model of the male anatomy, than metal detectors, armed teachers and drilling school shootings.
this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2025
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Puritan values at work
Just saw off the top part of it so it's no longer seen as a dildo. No need for a lockdown.
For real.
Grab a saw from the groundskeeper, hack it off as close to the floor as possible. Put a traffic cone on the stub.
10 minutes work tops.
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Dear God that is an expensive prank! The prices on those are insane.
There's some great bargains on Facebook Marketplace
I don't... I don't think we want youths buying those used
To a lesser extent, I don't think we want anyone else doing so, either.
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"3rd hand dildo" does not sound appealing.
But that's an awesome insult. Or a grunge band name if you lean that way.
I like that you know the price of a 3-foot dildo.
Edit: I looked it up out of curiosity. It's 1,035 CAD. You wasn't kidding.
Heres a 2 footer (well, 60 cm, close) on aliexpress for $33.32 USD. (without shipping) https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256806204843239.html
So you can get 30 of these instead of a single 3 footer. Seems like a better deal to me.
It don't got the girth though.
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Common knowledge, really.
That is a very expensive prank.
Edit: Also...I wonder which of those two took it home.
Principal Victoria says she's taking it in as evidence.
Well...taking it in as far as she can.
Did she say “evidence” or “every inch”?
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Dildo like that is what, $200? Lube, $5-10. Cost to lock down the school for an hour, a few thousand dollars. I agree, It’s funny that they didn’t just cut off the base. Would have taken like 5 minutes, including the walk to get the scissors or knife. Someone wanted to keep that monster for themselves
Dildo like that is what, $200?
The cheapest I found was on Amazon and it was.on sale.for $599.
Wikipedia reports this Ohio school enrolled 1837 students in the 2023 school year, making the senior class size approximately 459 students.
If every single one of them thought this would be funny, they could each chip in ~$1.31.
Lunch money well spent
Cost to lock down the school for an hour? Priceless
It’s silicone or whatever material? Slice it off at the bottom and put a “wet floor” cone over the remains so people don’t trip? No need to lock down the school over a funny prank.
Jesus christ that's really funny. Also God damn that school is pathetic if they didn't think of just cutting it and putting a cone over the remnants until they could properly remove it
lube is pretty easy to clean off with just water. i'd have used oil, so that whoever tried to remove it would have to get ready with a bucket of soapy water and then had to rub it up and down
Someone hasn't tried silicone lube before..
Silicone lube on a silicone dildo would melt it, last i heard.
it would indeed. oil wouldn't be the best for silicone long term either, but silicone lube on a silicone dildo would start melting it short term. though tbf, a yucky sticky dildo would also work as a park
True, but a toy this size is likely TPR for cost reasons. Totally fine with silicone oils.
Oil would be more likely to break down the silicone it’s made of and would make it have a shorter useful life.
What do you think the expected lifespan of this dildo post prank was?
I haven’t kink shamed anybody in the past and I’m sure not starting now.
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No, the school had to admit to a massive cockup.
I love this so much.
Why does a 3 foot dildo even exist?
Ask your mom
You'd be surprised the challenges some deeply inspired creators do for views.
I was linked on an R18 sub at one point. Someone else asked (for a friend of course) and I had a look (strictly for science of course). And yeah... Even in the front end. Maybe not 3 feet (that's strictly reserved for the back end) but... Wow. Surely it isn't worth it. Maybe it feels good? The science continues.
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Was this a cock up ?
A tremendous cock up!
I like that idea. It is not yet on the ever-growing list if forbidden pranks.
No active shooter or cooter
The cock is locked, so your education is blocked.
I'm calling it now. An episode of South Park that does the Uvalde shooting, but instead of shooting, it's a gigantic dildo being paraded through classrooms or something. Everything played straight, but no killing, just kids hiding terrified behind tables, and a selfless teacher sacrificing herself when faced with a giant silicone dong, etc.
That flooring was hard on all the students.
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