I knew a Richard Raper. As an adult.
Name changes aren't that expensive π
this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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luckily you can change your name
It's a child not a vanity plate
At my job, I come across a lot of children's names. So many, that I can actually sympathize with parents who want an odd name. Names are supposed to be a unique identifier, so if you wanna name a kid "Revolution Fighter" or "Czarlanda," I get it. I can certainly find a kid with that name in our databases faster than I can find a "John Anderson" or an "Adam Wu."
What really kills me is parents who name their kids a normal sounding name, but with an insane spelling. I'm talking like "Shelley" spelled "Schelei" or "Alexander" spelled "Alexzander." You're not being clever or cute, you're just going to make your child's life unnecessarily harder as they have to spell their name out every. single. time.
We still have about 5 years before the first wave of incorrectly-spelled Khaleesis start showing up at county courthouses en masse.
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I read this a while ago (scroll down into section II for the graphs) which conducted a survey to see how happy people were with their names. The consensus seems to be that, for the most part, people just want names that don't annoy them constantly. Very common names rank lower than less common names, until the names become very uncommon. More normal or traditional names rank higher than more modern or creative names.
The conclusion I drew was that people want a normal name spelled a normal way, that is not too common. Why? Because if your name is too common, you are always confused with other people (cue saying "Michael" in a crowded room and having 5 people turn towards you). But if your name is too uncommon, people will constantly mis-spell and mispronounce it, so you will constantly either be correcting people or having to ignore it. If you have a common name with a unique spelling, then people will always misspell your name unless you spell it out for them. And of course, if you are named after a sci fi character or a name that rhymes with your twin, you will probably be bullied for it in middle school.
So if you are naming a kid, your best bet is to look through the current common baby names and pick one somewhere between 100 and 1000 most popular, after eliminating weird spellings or names that can easily be turned into mean nicknames. Bonus points if you can tie the name into your cultural heritage or you have an admirable anscestor to name your kid after.
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That spelling of Alexzander a lot of times comes from non American countries (maybe Czech? Unsure)
Look at Alex Lifesons real name lol. I cant spell it
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So many people don't understand that children are people and people have rights. You are responsible for your children, you don't own them. If you don't like that, simply don't have kids.
To the people downvoting this, you are the problem.
Children are people, not your property. You owe your kids a loving, caring, and supportive environment because it was your choice to have them. They did not choose to be born, they did not choose you as parents, they do not owe you anything. If you treat them well, they will support you and love you. If they do not, then you did something wrong.
If you think your children owe you anything, don't have kids and go see a therapist.
I think they are downvoting because of the implication that having a not-cringy legal name is a legal right. In almost all places, it isn't. The general sentiment of the comment is correct - you shouldn't do stupid bullshit to your kids for your own amusement. But saying it is a "right" is incorrect in a very weird way.
Well... I think that point could be argued. Both the EU charter and the German constitution say right at the start in article 1 that "Human dignity is inviolable". I'd say that giving your kid some dumbass name violates their dignity. So it is very much a legal right.
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Worst I've seen: Shithead
Pronounced: Shih-theed
Spelled: Shit head
Sometimes things dont translate well to English. Like the common Indian surname Dikshit
I had a kid in high school with the same name. It was a normal name in his country. Everyone just started calling him Shitty and he embraced it lol.
This next guy, hes a real poth ead.
One of my favorite court transcripts is Sheppard v. Speir.
The Court: βAll right. β Now, do you have some objection to him being renamed Samuel Charles?
Sheppard: βYes.
The Court: βWhy? You think it's better for his name to be Weather'by Dot Com Chanel-
Sheppard: βWell, the-
The Court: βJust a minute for the record.
Sheppard: βSorry.
The Court: βChanel Fourcast, spelled F-o-u-r-c-a-s-t? β And in response to that question, I want you to think about what he's going to be-what his life is going to be like when he enters the first grade and has to fill out all [the] paperwork where you fill out-this little kid fills out his last name and his first name and his middle name, okay? β So I just want-if your answer to that is yes, you think his name is better today than it would be with Samuel Charles, as his father would like to name him and why. β Go ahead.
Sheppard: βYes, I think it's better this way.
That was a wild read, thanks for sharing. I'm so glad the kid had a father that cared, and that he got the custody and succeeded in changing that name!
Read the whole thing. That was wild. I think, alone, Weatherby (said together) isn't the worst name I've ever heard but all the rest is cuckoo banana pants. Based on what came out of the court proceedings that woman had some PROBLEMS.
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I wish I was named kitchenaid whiskey jones
You can always change it
When choosing my son's name I had two rules:
- No super popular top 10 or 20 name. There were plenty of very popular choices that I liked as names. But, I figured let's try to find something at least a little unique for various reasons.
However!
- They shall not need to spell their name every time they tell it to somebody. This implies a few things, like choosing an established first name people have heard before rather than making something up, and using the common spelling of that name.
I had a very similar strategy, except I was trying to avoid top 50. I once told a stranger my kid's name and they said "I like it. Unique, but not weird". That comment made me so happy!
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I attended my kids award ceremony (he's 10) and there were multiple girls ages 11 and 12 called Khaleesi and I shook my head
I get naming your kid after a cultural figure, but it drives me nuts that so many people believe her name is khaleesi.
Plenty of people might actually think that, but Prince, Queen, Princess, and different variations in different languages are common enough names already. It's possible plenty to most of those people just like the title and know it's not her actual name. Not directed at you, just some people might not realize that the phenomenon was popular before GoT existed.
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I know someone with relatives in China where they gave their kids nicknames that roughly translate to "first baby", "second baby", etc. They're all middle aged adults now and they're still addressed by the same nicknames. So you have kids listening to their grandparents talk about "second baby" and imagining a baby, but then you meet them and it's an old man.
A number of traditional names the world over are literally "first son", etc. Not to mention all the names that mean "so-and-so got me pregnant with this one." Normal names are only normal because we're used to them, not because they aren't made-up bullshit.
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A British singer just had a baby boy and named it Forever Sugar. Wild.
Do people just hate their children? There's so many good names to choose, just the longest list of them. There's nicknames upon nicknames, but every goddamn child has to have a combination of letters that've never been used before. Look, I'm not saying that everyone should name their kids Edith and Edward, but we also don't need a bunch of Brekinleighlynnes and Jahckxsonz running around. I feel very passionately about this subject. Pick a name that's either been used before (that isn't ass), or at least a name that sounds like a fucking name. I feel very strongly about this subject.
Having previously worked in child protection for almost a decade I can tell you that children with these kind of misspelled names are over-represented in the children we received reports about. I worked at a report intake and assessment hub and did over 5000 reports in my tenure there, and I saw SO MANY of these kinds of names.
Not all kids with these names end up being abused or neglected, but a lot of abused or neglected kids have these names.
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You can tell they made up that second name by looking for random objects in the room lol
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The Motel doesnt have a problem with it, why would you?
Other notable pop references, if dated AF, a boy named Sue.
My recent favorite of a real person (I check birth certs and passports at work) was first name Independence, middle name Infinity Excellence. Im gonna change the last name, but it was akin to Smith.
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