this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2023
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Not The Onion

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Don't do the deed if you can't do the Dew

[–] aegisgfx877@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

Im a killer, hes a killer, wouldnt you like to be a killer too

[–] 567PrimeMover@kbin.social 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You can’t un-mountain dew what’s already been mountain done

[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 1 points 2 years ago

You will never prove that I did the dew

[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

The way this was phrased made it sound like they were expecting the soda to melt their body and destroy then on a molecular level. Which tbf is a pretty metal way to murder-suicide

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Don't worry, it was diet mountain dew

[–] Transform2942@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago

Great Florida mugshot! We've got the neck tat, the I-will-eat-you stare, and the Walmart dye job

[–] ganksy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Make America Florida, huh??

[–] ScrollinMyDayAway@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

She should have soaked in a tub of it. If you are dissolved, you can't be charged.

[–] Drusas@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

It's not that acidic.

[–] JustCopyingOthers@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

... but it's got electrolytes.

[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 2 points 2 years ago

It ruins what cops crave

[–] steebo_jack@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago

In addition to florida man, they now have florida woman...

[–] anonionfinelyminced@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Yeah, she's got some city miles for sure.