this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
624 points (98.1% liked)

memes

14074 readers
2842 users here now

Community rules

1. Be civilNo trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politicsThis is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world

3. No recent repostsCheck for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No botsNo bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/AdsNo advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.

A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

Sister communities

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] neidu2@feddit.nl 77 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Drink some oil as well. Partially to displace the stomach acid, but also to allow for the kernels to pop.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 94 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And salt and butter. No one likes plain popcorn.

[–] the_rogue@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Also roll and eat an alloy wrap so you can take the rest home without it getting cold.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

...corpsecorn?

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This thread has some of the best medical advice I’ve ever found on the interwebs

[–] monsterlynn@kbin.social 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Am i percornate? How does girl become precornt?

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

with poopcorns

[–] HopingForBetter 2 points 1 year ago

Can have "insert-pickle" for taste will touch top od poplxorn kurnls?

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Would you need oil with body fat rendering?

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And shove a stick of dynamite up Your ass. Not necessarily before you die.

[–] ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I heard something about pacemakers occasionally being left in bodies by mistake, and becoming small bombs in the crematorium ovens. That's gotta be a trip, the first time you hear that shit.

And then you probably have to get the oven inspected, to make sure the incident didn't damage the gas lines. And that probably costs at LEAST a few thousand dollars. And probably tens of thousands, if something does need to be fixed. So, like, I'm pretty sure the boss is only going to let one of those slide, maximum, before you're out on your ass.

[–] Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or take out each heart and yell Kalima! No way to miss the pacemaker this way I think.

/S

[–] ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 year ago

Now you're thinkin'.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The body is often "prepared" for the funeral before it is cremated, so tape a couple hundred dollars to your chest with a note asking the preparer to leave your guts intact. Usually an underpaid apprentice does this, so there's a chance they'll go for it.

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Someone apprentices at crematorium?

[–] Auduras@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

An old coworker of mine at some part-time gig went to school and studied "Mortuary Science". Absolutely fascinated me. He had a second job at a crematorium where he was an apprentice.

After him telling me that, I realized that I never thought about how someone got into that field. Never really considered someone going to school to do this as a career (which now I realize is obvious, but I never connected the dots).

Always assumed people working at a crematorium or a cemetery was a cliche old decrepit guy.

[–] Senseless@feddit.de 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hm. At first I thought this was a Linux meme.

[–] summerof69@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

The guy's face when OP OD'd on Linux Kernels, RIP

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also maybe see if you can wolf down an entire pickle. The cremator may be a pickle-with-popcorn kind of fella.

[–] ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is that a thing? I've never tried eating pickles with popcorn. But now I'm kinda curious.

Unless it's just code for some weird sex act. Then, probably not. I don't want to lick anybody's briny dong.

[–] variants@possumpat.io 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Would you want your kernel popped

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

He wants the oiliest seed, am I right?

Gotta ask for consent first, this is discussed on make some noise BTW.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

No code here, although that's hilarious.

[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would imagine it's too wet and would boil instead of popping

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Popping is boiling, but you need the area around the kernel to be hotter than boiling. Outside you need oil.

So really, you’d need to shotgun blast them into your own belly fat to accomplish cremation popcorn.

Or drink a slurry of peanut oil full of popcorn kernels.

Jesus christ I’m on a list now

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

I like practical thinkers !

[–] JCreazy@midwest.social 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Make sure you chug some oil so the popcorn actually pops and doesnt burn

[–] scifun@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

And this is the reason for death in the first place.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 points 1 year ago

Popcorn pops at about 180°C, and execution by electric chair apparently gets you to 100°C, so no.

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

THIS IS SOME GOOD SPAGHETTI BROH

[–] krondo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Soooo ... Corn ? 🌽🌽🌽

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Actually no, popcorn’s a specific breed of corn. I think. Small enough kernels to withstand pressure longer or something like that.