Have a kid...
An invasive and life threatening surgery in a third-world country sounds easier.
If you're a woman on earth, there's a good chance having kids will be that too!
This but unironically
Can confirm. Go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 5am... and 11pm to change a diaper and 1am to give a bottle and 3am for no reason whatsoever.
Hopefully you end up doing a better job sleep training than us! Toddler does not go down without a fight.
It helps to not dread tomorrow
That definitely sounds like it requires a surgery.
Yup, I have a job I enjoy, and it turns out I don't need an alarm to get up to go to it.
Yeah just fake it till you make it, set up alarm, go to bed at the right time.
Eventually it will be automatic you want it or not. 🙄
How it works for me:
Go to bed at 10PM.
Fail to fall asleep until 1AM.
Wake up at 4AM because now I have to.
I stopped drinking, got a dog, and changed my gender. Now I'm up at 7am every day.
Seems pretty drastic just to sleep better. Hopefully you had reasons for getting a dog other than to solve a sleep issue.
Honestly, dogs are a full time commitment. Don't get one on a whim.
They might be a part of your life but you are their whole life.
I started leaning into my abnormal circadian rhythm and my mental and physical health was boosted almost instantly
Daypeople society sucks for Night Owls.
It sounds fake, but it might genuinely be your genes. Scientifically the natural tendency to sleep at specific time is called your chronotype and it's semi-genetic (it also changes with age and possibly few other factors). Not only that, it also affects your alertness: morning people usually have the highest alertness just after waking up and it gradually declines throughout the day, while evening people usually wake up with very low mental functions, but then their alertness slowly rises and hits its' peak around 5-6PM.
So if you ever wondered how it's possible that you always wake up feeling like shit, while others talk about how they're so full of energy in the morning. That's how. They're literally built different.
Could you point me in the direction of some source/further reading? I would love to have something substantive to share next time I get shamed for my lifelong struggle to become a morning person.
Get a job that requires it
My wife got a job where it is required and she still struggles to sleep early enough.
it requires doing it over and over again and accepting that it's gonna make you feel kinda shitty. I'm at my best by 11am. When I used to work overnight til 5am, 11am was when I woke up. When I worked bars 5-close, 11am. Now that I work a 9-5, I'm physically there at 9, but I'm useless til 11am. When I fall asleep has changed as my schedule did, for each of those schedules I was in bed at 6am, 4am and midnight respectively. But when the machinery came online has never changed: 11am.
How to become a morning person according to this thread:
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Stop using drugs.
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Use drugs to go to sleep.
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Go to bed at 10.
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Go to bed at 10 and fail to fall asleep.
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Just wake up at 6.
I know this is WhitePeopleTwitter, and not a direct ask; but the easiest way is to tackle it from the wake-up time, rather than forcing yourself to try and fall asleep at 10pm.
Pick a day with few responsibilities, (e.g. Saturday ) that way you won’t be too negatively impacted if you don’t get enough sleep. Set MULTIPLE alarms to 6am to force you out of bed; proceed with your day as normal, minimise screen time and bright lights after 9pm, and go to bed at 10pm.
Make sure you keep waking up at 6 am and don’t nap/go back to sleep; brute force your body to adapt. It should work as quickly as in 72hrs.
For some it occurs naturally in their midlife.
Anyone actually reading this and having similar issue, it can get expensive but try talking with a doc to try and figure it out. Before my habits got better, i tried diet/exercise, diagnosed with sleep apnea (didn't feel better rested, but def worse if I don't use cpap), and finally got way easier to manage when I was diagnosed with depression and prescribed. Ymmv but thought I'd share my experience.
Step 1, wake up at 6. Step 2, go to bed at 10. Step 3, repeat.
Last time I tried to go to bed at 10, I woke up... at 10.
I don't understand everyone's problem with getting this sleep schedule. I, for one, clock exactly this. I go to bed at 10 AM and wake at 6 PM; just like it says!
Have you tried going to sleep at 10 and waking up at 6? It sounds obvious, but you'd be amazed at how many people never do the obvious thing. Like forgetting to plug in a computer and wondering why it doesn't come on when the power button is pressed.
I showed my wife and she immediately told me 10 is late and 6 is sleeping in!! She's built different.
Wake up eat. Gym. Eat. Go to work. Coffee. You'll get through the day but then crash around bedtime.
Swore gym before work would never work for me (tried it in uni also). But I was going to quit anyway and when I did it realised it worked for me.
You also need to change your drinking pattern to day drinking.
Some of it is genetic but mostly it's conditioning, like in the Military.
EDIT: To clarify, veterans often (but not always) wake up before dawn consistently for decades after their service. I don't really recommend it as an option, but it's proof of concept.
Lobotomy for sure.
For a real medical answer, I was, at one point, put on GHB and a Stimulant under the theory that an issue that took 9 years to diagnose (epilepsy, did not present typically). Since I had issues with cataplexy, which is only rarely seen with other issues, this made sense. Turns out it can be a side effect of some psych meds, as I'm also bipolar.
GHB knocks you out in moments, and you'll wake up 4 hours later. Time for the second dose. 4 more hours. Like fucking clockwork. It was the only time in my life I was consistently on time anywhere I've ever worked. Wasted in a Walmart auto shop.
Then stimulants (amphetamine analogue) were supposed to keep a narcoleptic awake during the day.
OK, so what you want to do is stay awake for atleast 20 hours, sleep for like 5 hours then wake up, do this for a while then pick a time to go to bed, now you gotta drink some sleepy time tea, set a few alarms and fall asleep, you should sleep for about 8 hours, and wake up refreshed, now repeat this every night until you don't need the tea.
You gotta overload your circadian rhythm to reset it.
I just use an NFC tag.
Now I can't turn off my alarm unless I get up, leave my bedroom, and go to my living room to scan the NFC tag on my wall.
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