My wife sleeps in the middle, like a snow angel, so I always sleep on what's left.
Or what's right.
What's left ain't right.
The story of my life.
Correct.
Oh, you are a witty one. Good answer.
Right, left if you're looking at the bed from the foot.
Stage right, stage left if you're looking out from the bed toward the foot.
He did theater stuff in HS, so we may adapt this if neither of us concede. Good work around.
Theater stuff in high school.... Is that like making out backstage after rehearsal?
Probably along the same lines as band camp. I'm sure there's a few "This one time..." stories.
I'd say it'd be from the perspective of laying in it, since no one cares what side of the bed is which unless they're going to lay in it
Ah, but as you say, people only care when they're "going to" lay in it, meaning they're not in the bed yet. Once you're in bed, you pretty much never need to specify the left or right side, you can say "shit, i spilled a drink on your side!"
So, since we only care about left and right sides while we're not in bed, I say who cares about the in-bed perspective. What matters is how it is oriented while you're standing up and looking at it. So that's how I'd assign left and right side.
To that, I'd say it's likely better if we use landmarks. Identify unique furniture or a window or something on each side. Then, refer to them as "Window side" or "Lamp side".
I agree, only sensible way to do it
Forget left-right. Use port and starboard.
This is the correct answer. It's how ships avoid running into each other. When whoever is steering the vessel is facing the bow (front, usually the pointy bit), port is their left, starboard their right. Ship's running lights are red on the port side, green on the left. So if you're out on the water at night, you can immediately see whether a ship is coming towards you or moving away. The rule for passing an oncoming vessel is "port to port", thus avoiding confusion and collision.
Sitting up in bed I would consider the headboard the stern, because I have my back to it, and the foot the bow. So the area to starboard is right, and portside is left. Ahoy maties!!!
Well, so which is the front and which is the back?
Beds have a head and a foot, so the head is fore and the foot aft.
Ah. But in a bed race, it's foot-first, implying a direction of travel that itself dictates head==aft and foot==fore. Totally different from how ironman flies, fwiw.
You mean "prow" and "stern".
Driver's side and passengers side?
Stage left and stage right? (Depends on where your curtains are).
People drive in different sides in different parts of the world.
Fuck it, topside, underside.
The majority of people occupying the same bed will have congruent driver/passenger sides. Distant strangers don't need to know which side you are referring to. Couples from different regions could adopt the local convention.
We use "my side" and "your side" so it's always correct from any perspective.
The answer is easy, but to get to it, a little bit of a thought experiment is probably helpful. I say, look to how we define our own left and right sides for guidance. When facing forward, our left hand is on the left side of our body, and the right hand is on the right side of the body. Perspective doesn't matter, and there is no ambiguity.
Now we need to extend this to the bed. A bed has a head, just like a person does. So where would its face be? It seems clear to me, unless you are sleeping on a dead mattress, that the face is clearly going to be looking upwards at the ceiling at the head of the bed. So the left side of the bed, if you are standing at the foot of the bed looking at it, would be on your right. Just like the left side of your friend, when you are standing in front of them and looking at them, is on your right.
Now if you just imagine the mattress to be perfectly spherical and in a frictionless environment.......
(Obviously just having fun with this answer, but it's also the right answer)
It’s easiest if you think of the bed as a person. I call mine “Ed the Bed”
Stage left is the only definition that matters here, unless you have good reason to care about audience left owo
House left is the better methodology, you’re going to be talking about sides while looking at the bed more often than while already in it.
Either:
Pick one and I hope whatever you pick works for both of you. Agreement is easy, but teasing can be fun.
A very realistic answer. It's unlikely either of us will concede so this is will be a perpetual joke.
take a cue from the theater folk: stage left/right is defined by the performers' perspective. Call it "bed left" and "bed right" to talk about it from the perspective of someone on the bed, and "standing left" or "standing right" to talk about the perspective of someone looking at the bed
Although it's kinda silly to me that anyone's default orientation would be from looking at the bed, which is not the position most commonly associated with the thing famous for laying in it.
If you lay in the bed, depending on if you are lying on your back or stomach, left and right still change.
Ususally a bed is positioned with the head against a wall, so if you are facing the bed from the foot end, left and right are always the same. So I vote left/right is as seen from the foot end of the bed.
Driver side, passenger side.
Get nautical! Port and starboard.
I can get on board with this! (Pun intended)
But then which side is the Bow and which the Stern?
The bow would be the foot end, since you're looking in that direction
Imagine the bed is a clock. The 12 o’clock position is at the head — I don’t think anything else makes sense. That makes it unambiguous.
The positions are 3 o’clock and 9 o’clock.
And 3 is obviously on the right side of a clock and 9 on the left so the debate is settled.
Not if you consider the clock’s face is facing you. Facing your face. And so you can’t expect its right and wrong to be the same as yours.
Let’s say you have a day to move your stuff and you’re down to the last minute. You only have time for one more trip back inside. Your girlfriend says to grab whatever’s left of the clock. You go inside and look at its clockwork face, still gazing up at you with blank, bright numbers. Where the clock has hung all these years, to one side there’s a window with a bottle sitting there. To the other a vase with flowers. What do you take? What’s left of the clock, the vase, or do you say screw it and grab the bottle, without bothering to read carefully what’s inside?
I’m afraid this is all just more confusing, sorry
No right or left.
Window side or door side.
If this doesn't apply to your bed, then you have aligned the bed improperly.
We customarily refer to the ends of the bed as "head" and "foot" which are analagous to the head and foot of a sail in nautical terms. Therefore "forward" in the ordinary bed naturally corresponds to the direction of straight up toward the ceiling, and the port side is the one on your left when lying in the bed facing that way.
I have a problem with right and left, and this question illustrates it pretty well. I tend to give directions as east, west, north, south. Left and right move around when you do, so can't really be assigned to stationary items like a bed. Our bed has a northwest side and a southeast side.
There are whole tribes of people who have no words for left and right but have words for the cardinal directions; and all directions or labeling is based on one's position and facing in these directions. "put this in your East hand" could be an imperative in the culture.
Having said that, leverage stage direction: Left and Right is Audience Left and Right, whereas Stage Left and Stage Right also exists and is generally the reverse. For instance, I exit Stage Left but to look at it you'd think it was the Right.
Following because this drives me nuts too
Someone save us, give us an authoritative answer
To avoid confusion, just say driver and passenger side.
I meant this to be a joke, but if you assume your bed drives forward toward the side with your pillows then it actually works. But if you read in bed with a reading pillow then I guess you probably want to drive your bed toward your feet side of the bed...
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