475
submitted 5 months ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 142 points 5 months ago

"I should have let everyone know I accepted a bribe. Not like you'll do anything about it anyway, suckers!"

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 44 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

The only Justice to be impeached in US history was Associate Justice Samuel Chase in 1805. The House of Representatives passed Articles of Impeachment against him; however, he was acquitted by the Senate.

https://www.supremecourt.gov/about/faq.aspx

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 30 points 5 months ago

They're the American Mullahs. I've been calling them that for a while and I hope it catches on eventually.

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I thought they were Muslim clergy. What am I missing?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 33 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

The Mullahs of Iran cannot be replaced no matter what they do. They are also the final arbiters on all matters.

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Gotcha. That’s a fair comparison.

[-] brightandshinyobject@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago

I should let everyone know, I am taking bribes.

[-] boydster@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 months ago

"I used to take a lot of bribes and I should have let everyone know. I mean, I still do, but I used to, too."

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 10 points 5 months ago

That’s exactly how I read that title. Oh, I can see there was no need to be sneaky. Apologies.

[-] Chainweasel@lemmy.world 53 points 5 months ago

Justice Clarence Thomas can choke on a cock.

[-] Nougat@fedia.io 34 points 5 months ago

To be fair, any of us can choke on a cock.

[-] FiremanEdsRevenge@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

You're right. Clarence has no gag reflex.

[-] Kalkaline@leminal.space 12 points 5 months ago

It's true, I saw that man take 3 cocks at the same time.

[-] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 3 points 5 months ago

You go to some really weird parties

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago
[-] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Sure but he's conservative so it's pretty much a given that he's got some secret kink he's trying to cover for by telling others what they can do with their bodies. Having 3 dicks in his mouth is probably the most normal sexual act he's done in ages, instead of the usual underage amputees vomiting in his asshole or something like that

[-] toasteecup@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

God I love this conversation thread.

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

You can see this at any billionaire party in the DC area.

[-] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Apparently you also go to some really weird parties. I never get invited to billionaire orgies :(

[-] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

And you never will, with a gag reflex like that.

[-] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 months ago

I'm still good for butt stuff though

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Not just people. The dogs we had back on the farm did a great job of protecting chickens, but every once in a while they would do the opposite and kill a chicken for themselves. I always thought it was fair. There was an instance where Lady was choking on a mouthful of feathers.

It was a peanut farm. Ironically my spouse is deathly allergic. On the bright side, it gets you out of family gatherings.

[-] BlackRing@midwest.social 7 points 5 months ago

That was a wild ride!

[-] BoxingPreacher 42 points 5 months ago

Okay, so when can we expect you to take off the robe and clear out? And when can we expect meaningful ethics reform on the court, you know, the place where ethics should be paramount?

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago

And when can we expect meaningful ethics reform on the court, you know, the place where ethics should be paramount?

I have an official reply from the Justices to your inquiry:

"lol, get fucked, pleb"

[-] BoxingPreacher 1 points 5 months ago

That sounds about right...

[-] logicbomb@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

"I have not yet begun to defile myself."

[-] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 29 points 5 months ago

Oh, ok.

So, you're going to resign now, yes?

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 23 points 5 months ago

South Park ISP Support Guy (while rubbing his nipples): I'm sorry. We're just so sorry.

[-] DarkNightoftheSoul@mander.xyz 13 points 5 months ago

"my bad bro, i forgot to tell you guys about the open notorious corruption."

-Tom "Uncomfortuncle" Clarence

[-] cley_faye@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

Shouldn't this be "…acknowledges he should not have accepted free trips from billionaire donor"?

I don't know all the intricacy of US politics, but people in position getting shit-tons of gifts in exchange of "nothing, really, just a friendly gesture" should raise some eyebrows.

[-] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 12 points 5 months ago

Wait, I thought this was the onion

[-] Alenalda@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

Maybe he should step down about it

[-] recapitated@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I would be fascinated to see how this issue would be litigated up through the supreme court.

[-] Rookwood@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago
[-] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

He knows it won't change jack shit: he can't be held accountable, and it's not like he'll magically grow a spine either

[-] eran_morad@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

He should have drank himself to death, but alas.

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

There is still time.

[-] MNByChoice@midwest.social 5 points 5 months ago

Next time in court try:

Your honor, I “inadvertently failed to realize" ...

[-] Suavevillain@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

He is just a high ranking Sugarbaby. Get these bozos out of here.

this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
475 points (99.0% liked)

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