this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
394 points (97.6% liked)

Microblog Memes

8559 readers
2324 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 62 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"Mom, I'm not hungry!" "Honey, I can see you're hard. Just eat it."

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

How do I delete someone else's comment?

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Yep, that's definitely porn.

[โ€“] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

Weird Al's Eat It is even weirder than I remember

[โ€“] SquirtleHermit@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Well, if they only got hard when we were actually hungry, and not just "bored hungry", I assume the market for crunchy snack foods wouldn't be as prominent.

[โ€“] cm0002@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pfft as if we wouldn't have come out with a Viagra for teeth LMAO

[โ€“] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Well, this is horrifying. Just the thought of old men before Tooth Viagra comes out just trying to eat chips with their knobbly wobbly teeth.

[โ€“] AddledGoat@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 year ago

There would be no change because I am always hungry.

[โ€“] brlemworld@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Blowjobs would be even more enjoyable and have less risk of harm

[โ€“] FrowingFostek@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wouldn't this mean every blowjob would have to be on a full stomach?

If they get hungry while going down, do the teeth inflate like a balloon or, click up like a switch blade?

[โ€“] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Does ur dick click up like a switchblade???

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Found the spitter...

[โ€“] hark@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Doesn't saliva production increase in anticipation of food? Kinda like...

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My teeth retract into my gums until I get hungry.

Yours don't?

[โ€“] expatriado@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

mine retract when i go to the swimming pool

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Shrinkage, SHRINKAGE!!!

[โ€“] neo@lemy.lol 5 points 1 year ago

Only my fangs.

[โ€“] klemptor@startrek.website 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can't decide if I love or hate this idea.

[โ€“] neo@lemy.lol 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Let me help you with an additional rule: horny and hungry hardening shall be coupled and only occur together or not at all.

[โ€“] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago

"We're eating out for dinner tonight"

[โ€“] klemptor@startrek.website 4 points 1 year ago

This calls for a pastrami sandwich.

[โ€“] Zachariah@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago
[โ€“] athairmor@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Milkshakes would be a larger percentage of fast food sales.

[โ€“] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 1 year ago

Mcdonald's would be out of business then.

[โ€“] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It could be kinda nice to run your tongue over your squishy, deflated teeth between meals.

[โ€“] paws@cyberpaws.lol 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And cleaning them might involve some sort of tooth sucker device to suck them clean between meals for all the hard to reach places.

I'm gonna go suck my wife's teeth and see what her reaction is

[โ€“] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then I would be hard all the time in more ways than one.

[โ€“] kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey it still counts.

[โ€“] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[โ€“] cinabongo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That is very relevant and hilarious ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

I love Nigel and marmalade so much. I didn't think I'd like it at first, but it's my favorite shorts series

[โ€“] taiyang@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If it's one to one how we get erect normally, and as the human body essentially inflates using blood, your teeth would ultimately be blood sponges. Seems impractical.

Of course, take it a step farther and maybe physiologically the blood hardens to a sharp point. I know some fantasy settings where bloodstone is a thing, so I guess that. If it was possible, it'd look sick as fuck.

[โ€“] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Or maybe our teeth retract using that as a mechanism?