310
He has a dozen kids already. This dude needs to get his fetish under control.
And most of them don't like him.
Almost everyone who's ever known him for more than 20 minutes knows he's a raging narcissist without the actual smarts to back it.
Elon proving once again he is a fucking moron
"No boss, we don't need your sperm. Please stop asking."
Elon totally has a my little pony in a jar.
Imagine going to Mars but it's just filled with Elon descendants.
Nuke it
It's the only way to be sure.
If they're all like Vivian, that doesn't sound so bad
Elongated
The cyber truck is almost rugged enough to Brave the Home Depot parking lot (so long as it’s been recently paved.
"I would like to purchase one wood, please."
Is anyone actually surprised? But ewww.
Best way to start a colony is with a genetic bottleneck.
What a jerkoff
Yeah, this Elon guy sounds like a right wanker.
This is just colonial monarchy with extra steps Edit: castrate the rich
I would like to sign up for a life of indentured servitude on Mars! The silver lining is it will be a short life.
TIL Elon keeps a cum jar.
He uses it to spice up his cereal.
In a CyberX Freezer, his next investment scam.
Elmo put it back in your pants...
Teslatubby wants to propagate
I offer everyone I meet sperm, it’s what makes me a great host.
Inbred martians... Neat.
Between that and the radiation, welcome to... Planet Tard.
Imagine having the misfortune of not only being stuck on mars, but also having to share your genes with this greasy fuck.
"Just cup your hands" - probably.
Anyone know how much the additional ~30 pounds of a human man, compared to a human woman and a test tube of cum, would cost to fly to mars? How many women would each mission need to take to offset the weight of a precisely calibrated refrigerator full of spunk? If, upon arrival on mars, they immediately begin pouring cum all over the ground, how delicious would Elon’s tears be?
EwwwLon
I hope when we get to Mars we are over the whole car idea and can start building train and path tracks instead of doing suburb 2 electric bogaloo
any real colonization will be corporate sponsored and whatever is built there will be the most urban hellscape you can imagine.
"Sorry, your colony didn't pay the oxygen fee so we sealed all connections to other colonies"
He really does think he is Horatio from Endless Space.
More baby Elons?
If he/they did go through with this I’d start a GoFundMe to reward the employee(s) that successfully sabotages the effort, wether by substituting their own sample or any other verifiable means.
If I was a SpaceX employee, I would not accept sperm in exchange for seeding a mars colony
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
310 points (96.4% liked)
Not The Onion
12203 readers
428 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS