Blue whale.

You never said I had to win.

T-Rex. I mean, all I gotta do is remove one pin and the whole skeleton collapses.

Your mom!

Most beasts under 80 lbs. Over 80 lbs, it's gonna be on a case by case basis. 90 lb sloth, no problem. 81 lb wolf, ...problem.

The biggest animal I feel confident in is an 800 lb human. Huge, but that fucker's gonna be exhausted ten seconds into the fight.

A blue whale. (they won't fight back b/c they don't consider me a threat, and so when they wander away I win by technicality)

A human

If I had bear hands then probably a small bear.

A large opossum. I could probably handle something larger, but I can only handle one pet at a time and I like opossums.

Yes, I understand you're asking about the largest animal I can fight and I'm telling you that that opossum is going to become a pet if I win.

A giant squid. It would have to be on land though (you never said we had to do it in their natural habitat).

Galapagos tortoise. That's the largest I can think of without teeth and claws, not fast, and not in water.

Definitely something smaller than a grasshopper.. Lost that fight a few days ago.

1 Lemmy

I could totally take a 6-year-old human.

Sunfish.

They are enormous wastes of flesh and evolutionary effort.

Probably a fainting goat.

A blue whale, as long as we're on land.

I can totally choke a chicken

A gnat

My 3.4lb rabbit recently decided I am not a threat and started chilling in the middle of my walkway at night. She now takes multiple shoves to make move. So, not a bunny

(This took years of work on trust I am mostly bragging my bunny loves me)

Definitely not a cat. I have cats and he wanted to go ballistic on me when I tried to get him off the window ledge when there was another cat outside. I had to push him off with a broom or risk losing an eye even though his nails are trimmed. He's lovely otherwise, I swear.

Probably a medium sized dog, if I’m being realistic. I can’t fight a fucking bear or box a kangaroo or wrestle an alligator