990
top 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 73 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Remember, you're a ghost piloting a walking tent of bone, blood, and flesh using a grey jelly computer running on ConfusedMeat_OS.

As is everyone and everything living that you know.

[-] Okokimup@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

Also, you're being co-habited by just a massive amount of bacteria, each of which has their own priorities.

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

I like to think of myself as a walking city. Makes me feel important.

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I'm a walking unprofitable for-profit prison.

[-] psud@aussie.zone 3 points 1 month ago

Consider them crew

[-] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 61 points 1 month ago
[-] yokonzo@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

God someone stitch the blood donation post under that

[-] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago
[-] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago
[-] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

You sure made that easy. Thanks! I don't actually have any opinions on the matter

[-] swag_money@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

today's meta is jenga posting

[-] cocobean@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

Conspiracy by Big Jenga

[-] rain_worl@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

capitalism trying to extract as much blood from humans as possible

[-] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Literally just got out of the hospital from a fall in the bathroom the other day. Got to ride the wee woo wagon and everything and don't remember any of it.

Edit: I've got two black eyes, what'll probably be a forehead scar, and a very sore body.

[-] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 20 points 1 month ago

Oh and we've got some drywall work to do because while I got the blood stains off (apparently made a bit of a mess after I got knocked unconscious), I also ripped the toilet paper holder off the wall and put a good hit in on the heater in the fall. Got pictures too if anybody ever thinks the infomercials about seniors falling were being overdramatic, I'm in my 20s.

[-] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

Morbidly curious about those pictures.

[-] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 18 points 1 month ago

Don't worry, not gruesome, like I said, I got the blood stains off:

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Damn bro glad your okay. That could've been brain damage.

[-] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 month ago

Yeah that was the bulk of the concern everybody had when I woke up in the ER.

[-] Ifera@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Adorable eyeshadow, my darling. Also, glad you're OK, here is hoping you recover soon แ••( แ› )แ•—

[-] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Got to ride the wee woo wagon

AKA Amberlamps

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Bambalance!

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 27 points 1 month ago

I don't like that so many shower doors are glass. I can't stop myself constantly imagining a Final Destination situation where I slip, fall into the door, shatter the glass and decapitate myself.

[-] boogetyboo@aussie.zone 10 points 1 month ago

I like to dance in the shower. I'm basically driving behind the logging truck.

[-] psud@aussie.zone 0 points 1 month ago

A logging truck is probably safe to follow, an 8m log isn't going to slide off the stack

[-] boogetyboo@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago

No I saw a documentary and they fly at you like torpedoes

[-] SparrowRanjitScaur@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I believe they're usually tempered so they don't break in large pieces. They usually shatter into small rounded pieces. Source: My cousin broke our shower stall.

[-] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

I was on digging trenches in the yard for sprinklers when my then girlfriend came out onto the porch. She was kind of staring off into space. "What's up?" " I just got a phone call. My mom died." "Congratulations." "Thank you."

She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one. Mom had slipped and died in her bathroom.

[-] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one.

Talk about high risk low to medium reward, holy shit what a daredevil

[-] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Each person that has ever dated me has understood that I will never react appropriately in a social situation. Not because I act out of spite but because I have zero clue as to what I'm doing.

[-] MadBob@feddit.nl 20 points 1 month ago

Sometimes people fall from an aircraft and bounce jovially off the ground; sometimes people turn their heads too quickly and tear the fabric keeping their windpipe in place.

[-] rain_worl@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

boioioioing
yeehee!

[-] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Or when you're on the treadmill and then one of your steps is an inch too far to the side.

[-] buttfarts@lemy.lol 7 points 1 month ago

Them internal organs be poppin'

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

What if I'm taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap?

OH MY GOD I'D BE KILLED!

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

By the colonel, in the kitchen, with a giant vibrator.

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago

Sounds like a fun weekend

this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
990 points (99.5% liked)

People Twitter

5162 readers
1967 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a tweet or similar
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS