836
Trump Locks Bathroom Door So Elon Musk Can’t Follow Him In
(theonion.com)
Its okay for cats because they're cute and adorable, which elon isn't.
And because their litterboxes are way nicer than his.
Isn't that the litterbox infamous for murdering cats?
According to this article, no - the door on the bad design closes horizontally. The article actually uses a pic of this very box (or extremely similar) as an example of a "reputable" design. But then again, it also advised people to stop using the bad design, and to talk to their vet (why?!?) about the "next steps to take." 🤷♀️
It's also because cats have no object permanence, just like Elon
Cats do have object permanence though? So cats are in fact; smarter and cuter.
Yeah that's right. Was just ranting. Haha. We're in the onion community
Now I’m imagining a cat without object permanence trying to hunt a mouse.
This is literally my cat when I'm in the bathroom.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool
The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: "Groom of the King's Close Stool") was the most intimate of an English monarch's courtiers, initially responsible for assisting the king in excretion and hygiene.
The physical intimacy of the role naturally led to his becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course.
The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the "chamber system".[1][2]
National Fecal policy
This is Trump we are talking about, so musk's title is probably more like "Presidential diaper changer".
This is more info than we EVER needed or wanted to know about Elon's kinks.
I approve of all this content painting Musk as an invasive little brat who has no boundaries and is desperate to try to buy his way into the cool kids inner circle. Notice me, senpai!
Isn't that what they used to say about Trump?
This just in: Manufacturing efforts at the Tesla factory have been diverted to focus on building a bathroom door lock-picking robot.
"Musk SLAMS local locksmith, calls him a pedophile for opening the lock first"
feels bad about it after a minute and lets him
He's not going to wipe himself.
This just leaves Musk to scratch at the base of the door and wave his fingers around in the gap beneath the door until Donald finally relents, allowing Musk to enter and curl up in the crotch of Donald's pants while he's taking a shit.
I cannot wait for what these guys are going to do with infowars.
Oh he doesn't like being follows into places that are meant to be more private when you're exposed? Wonder what the various women Trump has admitted walking in on thought about his similar behavior?
The First Lady is very needy in this upcoming administration.
This needs to be an article series.
I think you made a mistake, this is for satirical pieces.
Orangetard has enough shit in his pants he doesn't need anymore
Nice. The spelling mistake makes it look like Trump soils pants just before donating them.
Nah, Trump poops and texts whenever Elon goes into a K-hole. It's a solid routine. 😆
well somebody's gotta give him the blumpkin, right?
And Eric will be damned if anyone else is taking that spot. That's daddy and Eric time
Who's gonna wipe his butt then?
Based on trends witht he rest of his staff
- Trump had someone
- he probably handled classified shit (heh)
- either Trump tried to have him killed or he went to jail.
So he'll need another. Who's the judge who's been cleaning up his smelly messes and isn't imprisoned?
Brings a new meaning to "Closed door meetings".
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
836 points (98.8% liked)
The Onion
4542 readers
1438 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS