Programmer Humor

Rust is even easier, you probably have some you aren't even using. Check in the bikeshed.

Don't understand why it takes people so long anyways, took me like 5 seconds to write it.

and if they want to go fancy and cheap, suggest excel.

Knowing which buttons to push is the valuable part though.

I dont know where I heard this story but it was something like the following:

In a company a very valuable machine breaks and becomes inoperable, so they call the support. They send a mechanic to fix the machine. The mechanic arrives inspects the machine, opens it, presses a button and it works as if nothing happened. The manager then asks why he is paying the mechanic just to press a button. The mechanic answers "you aren't paying me for pressing the button, but for knowing which button to press".

Oh I can use threads and recursion to stop CPU usage.

Maybe if the threads pause a lot, and pause even more as the stack unwinds to the final exciting conclusion.

I think it's only getting worse. I always assumed the next generation will be more tech savvy than the last one. I had to learn windows/mac/dos when i grew up, just to play some video games. There was a lot of troubleshooting and hardware problems i had to figure out. When i was 25, people would tell me that their 5 year old can use their ipd better than they can. (Ipads just came out.) I thought these kids are gonna be computer wizards when they grow up. It was the absolute opposite. I talked to these kids when they were around 16 again, and they were absolutely clueless. If it wasn't an ipad or an app they could use, they might as well play with a piece of glass. Can you do ..... On an ipad? Hmm, what app is that? It's not an app is something you do, like a setting. Hmmm... I'll check the app store.

Vaguely.

Twitter is just a wrapper around a database.

I am able to get components with unwanted lighting all over the place, but none where lighting is desirable.

• Didn't ask for lighting in my fans, got them.
• Didn't ask for lighting on my motherboard, got it.
• Didn't ask to a blinding light in the power indicator of my monitor, which is brighter than the screen itself. Had to tape it up.
• Took a real while to find a cabinet without glass/acrylic stuff, because that's all people sell nowadays.
• Asked for a good backlit keyboard for a reasonable price. I had to make cutouts out of glow-in-the-dark stickers.
  • RGB everywhere by default, but getting even a single coloured backlight on a keyboard ramps up the price like anything.

HTTP 418

Its a traditional shape you try to recreate in algorithmic 3d graphics

A standard reference model in 3d modeling.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utah_teapot

Almost certainly HTTP 418:

https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTTP/Status/418

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utah_teapot

they said optimize CPU usage, not reduce CPU usage. clearly they actually want to increase CPU utilization in this mysterious "0.02%" situation in order to get the results faster

There's like 2 syntax errors in this one liner.

Indeed, anytime I optimize code, it ends up taking more CPU to run.

Write so hard out of anger that you rip the paper.

No, I made it pixel by pixel on a piece of paper, and then scanned it to spread the word.