"Denmark made clear that they absolutely have eggs", said a news person in German. Which is absolutely funny, because eggs and balls is the same word here.
"Dänemark hat klar gemacht, dass sie durchaus Eier haben."
this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2025
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Denmark better fucking not.
I'm in the US. Put the fucking pressure on us. Buy literally anything else but American products. Our conservatives need to learn exactly how bad "America First" is, and you can't do that when you sell out.
Denmark? The same Denmark they are threatening over Greenland? That Denmark?
I get they are asking all of Europe (also the same Europe they are threatening a trade war with) but this is just full on clown car.
"Give me eggs and Grønland please"
The audacity
First Greenland. Now the eggs. Shameless 🤭
Greenland, eggs, then ham.
💎
*RedWhiteAndBlueLand
Egg and Ham Land
Note that the US will consider the eggs only as payment for not having annexed Greenland in the past, and in no way as guarantee against future annexation.
sure €10 or $100 per egg.
Or... (and this is always an option) Go fuck yourself.
I felt that.
i'ld happily send some (like 8 or so) eggs to the us, but...
- if you order now it will be the best deal ever, no one had ever made such a good deal, i'ld say its the best deal of the world, they'll ask how could you make such a good ... you get it.
- delivery will start roughly within a few congress days, but go fuck yourself, if not.
- just for the price of some scrap metal in the us, so 100.000$ each (not the package, each) see usd currency is currently dropping for reasons, so we must take care you're not ripping us off.
- the money needs to arrive within 2 ~~business~~calendar days (not congress days) from now, later arrival results in 25% fee per day over that time, fee will be cut off from each egg separately before packaging. good luck with european banking standards on a weekend
- no special packaging will be used and neither way no garantee for anything, we only garantee that a shipping label will be created, delivery guy -if at all- only has to pretend to have ringed the doorbell even if he was on another continent at that time. also no garantee for freshness of the product should it arrive at all. delivery guy also can choose to deliver to your neighbour instead (but we'll tell him that those cut-in-half eggs should better not go to canada nor mexico, they don't deserve such)
- if you change your mind and want to return the eggs, you'll have to send the very same eggs back, even when just a handfull of worthless screws were in the package when it arrived. go f yourself and fuck amazon too, they like to f with everyone, so just do it.
- we might decide to send spider or locust eggs instead of those from chickens, you didn't declare that exactly anyway, just ask amazon about slight product changes when clicking the "into shopping card" button, yes, we do adopt us-american style of business extra for doing business with the us.
- we do have the very same eggs for a smaller price somewhere, but this offer is just placed on top of the search by sellers choice, so its your fault if you use this offer (try use amazons order by price, cheap first and see what offers cease to exist for that search then)
- ah i nearly forgot, this order is a monthly abo by default.
- the money will be partly used to free chickens from slavery, this is our duty when dealing with pro slavery nations.
- this is not our chicken and egg problem
UPDATE: fixed business days to calendar days (thanks @psud)
Fix business days to calendar days and it'll be about good
They’ve asked us in Norway as well, and we said lol no
Based
I guess America doesn’t have the cards when it comes to eggs.
I mean did they even say thank you when they asked?
Go to russia for your eggs and leave Denmark alone.
Don't be a traitor Denmark...
As an American, I’m here to warn you that this orange hemorrhoid will go back on any and everything he says and you should not, under any circumstance, believe or trust him. He will take the first opportunity to back out or screw you over. Don’t do it. Remember, him and president musk believ that Americans are willing to tolerate a little pain. Make them reap their own whirlwind and suffer the consequences. Fuck them. Sincerely. And twice on their holy day.
From the Danish media: https://nyheder.tv2.dk/business/2025-03-14-usa-beder-danmark-om-hjaelp
There are a few additional points
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Multiple European countries have gotten similar requests, not just Denmark
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American egg policy requires washing the eggs while European policy prohibits this, making it highly inconvenient.
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They would want assurance that America won't suddenly put tariffs on the eggs.
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If america were to pay upwards of 1€ per egg, maybe they'd have a deal.
Thank ou, added to the OP
Dear united states of fucking-over-your-allies and siding-with-the-baddies,
Get fucked.
Sincerely.
What about export tariffs? 500% or some similar decent percentage?
No eat your own eggs. You don't deserve European eggs.
Egg Crisis is the name of my prog-rock band.
The washing egg thing would be pointless due to European chickens being vaccinated
Panama made an exhaustive list of acts of submission to Trump, including selling Panama Canal and deported migrant prisons, Trump's response was to order Pentagon to make invasion plans for Panama.
How long does freight take against the shelf life of an eggywegg?
I know these won't be bleached so they'll last a little longer than US eggyweggs.
If you refrigerate unwashed European eggs, they will last multiple months (I have kept eggs for more then 2 months), way past the expiration date on the packaging (I know because I do it constantly).
Do you do the water test? Or just crack it open and hope for the best??
I do the same as @DouchePalooza@lemm.ee and never have i ever had a rotten egg or anything close to it. I always refrigerate my eggs and they last for a really long time. Even though we don't wash eggs in Denmark like in crazy US we still refrigerate them her. I think it's just easy to do for our food supply chain here and helps keep the eggs fresh.
If you think about it, in nature a hen would naturally be laying eggs over the course of a month (wild hens don't lay eggs every single day) so an egg must be able to survive for minimum a month in outdoor temperatures and stay healthy untill there are enough eggs for the hen to start laying on them and incubate them. A month or 3 in a fridge should be no problem for an egg. Unles of course you wash it and ruin the natural protection layer....
When boiled, instant water test. Other types, when I'm not particularly confident, I just crack open to a bowl.
I'm used to this because I grew up with eggs from hens of friends and family so we never knew when they were laid or how long they were in the hen house... Anyway, with store bought eggs, never had a problem, even after months (only 1 bad batch that came from the supermarket).
@Blaze "If you give us your eggs, we're gonna give you A GREAT DEAL in the exploitation of Greenland's natural resources. You're lucky you're negotiating with President Trump, the BEST DEAL MAKER EVER."
How do you say 'Get fucked' in Danish?
Oh we have many to choose from.
- "skrid ad helvede til" = go to hell
- "fuck af" = fuck off
- "Må din røv klø og dine arme være for korte" = I hope your ass is itching and your arms too short to reach
- "Rend mig i røven" = Kiss my ass (literally: run me in the ass)
- "Rend og hop" = run and jump (for me)
- "Sut den" = Suck it
- "Luk røven" = Shut the fuck up (literally: close your ass)
hope your arse is itching and your arms are too short to scratch it
We should adopt that one in English, we don't have enough good curses
I'll still buy US eggs, even if there's imports. The market will balance itself out when we can raise chickens again.
Yes, let's expose as many people as possible to bird flu.