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Friends was in a supermarket the other day. He bought an item labelled "Liquid Death".
What the product actually was is something he never buys because he never needs it, but because of the fantastically insane name of the product he said he just had to buy it!
That product? The one named Liquid Death?
Do you want to know what it was?
It was a 12 pack of 500ml cans of water
This kind of marketing works, kids. Something so unexpected you just have to buy it!
IIRC liquid death also has some very good policies.
And it was originally created because drinking water isn't cool, and musicians in bands wanted something to drink that looked like energy drinks or alcohol while staying hydrated. They mentioned bands filling empty monster cans with water as an inspiration.
Only in America does the coolness of drinking water ever factor into anything, coca cola successfully brainwashed the entire country lol
"Only in America" meaning the United States or the Americas or just North America?
I'm asking because there is a city in Mexico that drinks more Coca-Cola than water.
Liquid Death isn't bottled, it's canned. They're whole gimmick is "death to plastic" which is a little ironic considering that aluminum cans have a plastic lining.
Still, it's a great product. They've eliminated 99.9% of the plastic, so I think the slogan still works.
My bad, I'm just used to saying bottled, not canned. Fixed 👍
No joke, their Dr Pepper imitation is delicious and 10 calories per can.
They also have an iced tea called Death to Billionaires which I appreciate.
Dead Billionaire*
Everyone who died had water in them. Really makes you think…
“Made by combining Ganges river water, Mexican tap water, and samples directly from the Fukushima reactor, Liquid Death won’t just slake your thirst, it will slay it for the rest of your life.”
I would never buy bottled water either, but I do have an unopened can of liquid death standing around because it's such a fantastic can. Guests do ask me about it, or pick it up, sometimes. It's always disappointing to them and that's what I feed on.
It says right on the package.
High Vitamin D
Between that and the "100% Grass" half-and-half next to it...I gotta check out the dairy case at my dispensary. Usually they just have ice cream.
THC infused coffee creamer would make for the best hippie speedball.
It's just tit juice. Why does it need to be any more freaky?
It already is freakier than that. It's tit juice created via the industrial mass rape of billions of cows worldwide, that are kept in cramped and dirty conditions and seperated from their offspring at birth, so their tit juice can be harvested for profit and human consumption.
They milked the bulls for this...
PLEASE DRINK ME
She nasty. I like it
Face from nick jr.?
Christ you pulled that memory out of a basement I didn't even realize I had
Stealing breast milk from another species is pretty damn weird, so probably that.
Calling udders "breasts" is pretty weird bro.
I like to call them "long nipples".
Details shmetails. A teat is a teat. Would you prefer "mammary milk" to be technically correct?
Fun trivia: Did you know, the only other animals to have 2 thoracic and no other teats, besides anthropoids, are elephants and anteaters?
...you know the majority of our species straight up eats members of other species.
That looks like it came straight out of Sausage Party.
Cows with Mad Cow Disease
Delicious prions
Terrifying
I want to know what name came in second.
"Daddy's Milk"
Well, it's got lots of vitamin D.
Vitamin Dick
I don't seem to be getting my daily recommended dose. Where does one get a supply?
69 calories per cup...
Twist, it is just regular milk, because milk is already freaky and fucked up.
Next time you drink milk, just imagine suckling on an animal breast. For most of you that would be disgusting (for some of you, please don't imagine it)
