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I assume you know and are joking, but in case you (or someone else) doesn't know - sovcits commonly argue that courts have to operate under Common Law or Admiralty Law. They frequently try to get cases thrown out because that's not a thing so courts obviously refuse to call themselves either.

Everyone thinks that's how it works, but you have to call them your lawyer, and they have to call you their client. You both have to behave like you're in that level of relationship. It's not automatic or forced just because you live together and have sex.

Or immediately if you have a child together

Only if those are coins of a full ounce of silver, even. Nothing is specified so they might as well be dimes instead.

It's likely worse than that, even. "Silver coins" in sovcit often mean silver in color, i.e. quarters.

Dude wants a house for $2.50.

In what world does "conveyance" refer to a living space?

I don't.

IRS sending in letters about 21 years of scam back taxes I apparently owe them

Taxes are supposed to exist as a way to provide upkeep for infrastructure, government services, and social safety nets. Refusing to pay them while also still benefitting from tax-funded infrastructure and services is just being a parasite on society.

And they're about to hit a wall of reality when they become homeless

I don’t. I know people like this. They’re stupid, stubborn, selfish, lazy, egomaniacal jerks.

Just the worst Karens ever.

I've got to be honest, I might feel bad for them if SovCits weren't such massive pricks, but being a stupid piece of shit isn't equivalent to insanity to me.

Your Aunt is a lizard person? Insane. You think that you can increase your personal power and spiritual essence by consuming other living beings (insect-to-human cannibalism pipeline; I'm not joking this has been observed, codified and studied) to absorb their souls? Insane. Think that random family members, strangers and people on the TV are threatening you or compelling you to murder? Insane. Thinking that you don't have to pay taxes, obtain or use a driver's license for driving vehicles, etc. because you're not a legal scholar or even lawyer, and base your whackadoodle dumb-fuck interpretations of antiquated legal statutes sourced from Youtubers & Facebook posts? Not insane - You deserve what's coming to you, not because you're a 'bad person', but because you're too stupid to function in society and too arrogant to listen to anyone contradicting you for your own benefit.

Kidnapping? No, it's common law imprisonment!

Show up to their house with silver and some witnesses. Your house now.

Legal nonsense is exactly what they believe in, that's why they say "conveyance" instead of "car".

But surely this person isn't so dumb

Ah, so this is your first encounter with sovcits?

StarCraft Protoss voice: "YOU MUST HIRE ADDITIONAL ATTORNEYS."

I think you're thinking of learning how to play blues guitar.

I suppose you could buy a house for whatever 10 silver coins are worth. The important missing variable is somebody willing to actually sell it. Sovcits seem to strangely think other people are onesidedly bound by contracts they invent.