Most likely this person doesn't like having their hand shaken by you. It could be you or it could just be the shaking in general. Either way, if they're showing obvious signs of discomfort, why continue the practice?
this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2025
14 points (85.0% liked)
Asklemmy
50428 readers
478 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
She probably just thinks it's weird.
I've worked office jobs for two decades, and the only time I've ever initiated a handshake with someone is on the first time meeting them. Likewise, the only time anyone ever initiates a handshake with me is the first time meeting me... Anything more than that is extremely unusual in my experience.
Do other people try to shake your hand at the end of every interaction, or are you always the one who initiates? If it's the latter, then people probably just find it odd that you're handing out (sorry) so many hand shakes.
It could mean a myriad of things. There's no telling unless she actually wants to.
Anything from "this person isn't worth my effort" to "I want to appear smaller/weaker than them" are completely possible. You won't know the truth.. possibly ever. Even if you ask directly it's entirely possible you won't hear the truth. Stop thinking about it so much, and since you know that's how it's going to be, loosen up your handshakes a bit for her.
Am girl. I do firm handshakes myself so I think thatβs weird and would probably not shake her hand anymore. Maybe sheβs not into it, but either way it would save me from the awkward interaction lol
Does she also act this way around her women employees? She might just be like autistic or something. It's not too weird to be awkward with physical contact or eye contact.
If she only does this with men employees I also don't think it's too weird or something to take personally. It's quite normal for women to be more distant/reserved with men, for various reasons but among them some men read into it if we act too familiar. Or some people are just awkward around the opposite gender in general.
Look, it's the anime "Manager-san has a communication disorder"
Stop overthinking. Some people just don't like physical contact. On the other hand, some people (like you maybe ?) really need contact in their social interaction. Diversity is not only about being gay or black π€ͺ
Instead of handshake, maybe try a bump next time ? It's less intrusive for her, and you still have the same kind of "validation" feeling than with handshake.
Maaan. Do not fist bump your supervisor, OP!
Dude, I bump my n+3 ! If you cannot bump your manager, it's time to look for another job !
That's a common handshake for some women. I wouldn't take it as meaning anything special.
I've also shook hands with other women who've had firm handshakes.
You might think it is normal for you as you have the habit, but I know plenty of people that do not give handshakes or any form of physical contact. So it is a possibility that she might find it awkward and unnecessary, and so it catches her off guard. As others pointed out, thinking about why that happens is pointless and though you might wonder this to be thoughtful, it's better to just wait for her to raise the hand instead of you. If she does not, then there's no need.