Cencored version in case anyone wants to share with a family member.
No need to thank me.
this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2025
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Are you literally me
Turn off.
lemmy.ml version
They also censored his male gaze in the first panel
I'll piss the shit out of you.
I dont mean to shit on your chips, but eat fuck and die
eat fuck and die, the purpose of life
That'd be interesting to watch.
Are you fucking sorry!!?!
one time in high school my buddy said something outrageous so i tried to respond (jokingly) with "I'm going to slap your face!" and also "I'm going to kick your ass!" but the two options both got shoved into my verbal buffer and that's how I nearly mass murdered my entire friend group with laughter by accidentally threatening to slap his ass
Did you deliver?
no which is for the best lmao
reminded me of the meme "Switch up your swear words. Keep them potent.
Call someone a piece of fuck. Tell them to go shit themselves.
Keep the magic alive."
Yeah. I don't get what you're supposed to do when the normal swear words stop working. Imvent new ones?
Use household items, you absolute toaster.
Nonsense, you must be having a bath!
You lint licker
Sofa sucker!
Go smell bins
Serves the bed-wetter right
this probably the unfunniest shit ive ever seen
Oh, fuck out.
o7
Ok but I unironically use “are you fucking me?”
Also another commenter mentioned “go shit yourself” and honestly, that kinda goes hard. Gonna steal that one.
Motherfuck you!
What a load of bullfuck!
Alternatively, Indian road rage. FUCK YOU BLOODY!
I have here all the fucks I have not gifted yet!
"I'm going to shit your pants."
"Don't you mean 'I'm going to shit my pants?'"
"No. You're shitting me off, I am going to shit your pants!"
I AM GOING TO SHIT YOU RIGHT IN YOUR PANTS
I used to know a Russian guy in college who would swear like this lol
A friend of mine is Russian (though grew up in the US) and sometimes does this, though not quite to this extreme. I wonder if thats coincidence or if its something to do with speaking multiple languages (or speaking Russian and English specifically)?
You know, without any prompting, I heard this guy's voice in a Russian accent.
My wife is unironically like that.
I also like “what the shit?!” which I first heard in the movie Mallrats.
I remember it from a few years later in The Matrix, the guy yelling at Neo about his stolen phone.
Reminds me of a story about someone’s older relative who spoke little English except when swearing at other drivers in traffic, when they’d say things like “up shut your ass, mother bitch”
Shitcock!
All of these are real usages though;
"Are you fucking me?" = Expression of being ripped off.
"Shit off" = British way to express doubt.
"What the damn" = Stewie Griffin style phrase for surprise.
NGL I sounded like this when I was learning to swear as a kid.
My favorite is “shut the hell your mouth”
my favorite is just stringing a bunch of damn shit fuck what the i am so angry i have forgotten how swear or speak
What the cunting fuck
I kind of like it
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