evangelicals obsession with the raptures, when they havnt done any good in society.
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2025
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Then every time the rapture doesn't happen, it's like these people have an integrated Memory Reset Button, so they don't have to PUSH and modify their beliefs and superstitions, I mean... god forbid, that would require... (shudder)... making an effort. And we can't have THAT, now can we?
They said sorry to their imaginary friend for all the bad things they always do. One heaven please! 🙏
Just leave me behind. Thinking about it someone needs to do a pro rapture movie where all the people left behind live in peace now that god has taken them all away. Can you imagine the shit that would get thrown around by these dipshits if that movie hit the net?
Skipped over again. Thank god.
I hope it's a lot of them. Religious psychos are a scourge on humanity. The fewer the better.
I'm at work, so I probably got sent to hell
I don't think I w
Leviticus commands us to stone the false prophets.
These assholes are just out for free weed.
All the false prophets are currently unavailable for comment because they've been high AF the last couple days.
Me.
...
I got better.
The rapture happened and all I got was this stupid t-shirt
Who up rapturing their it?
Lemme tell ya, I have never been more raptured!
Props on the username, OP
Maybe next time
✋
I had to get out of bed to go to work, does that count?
I got rap[tur]ed again
My favourite theory of the rapture
It already happened .... no one noticed because no one was taken up.
With a hard cap of 144,000 in Heaven, the rapture happened already.
Isn't the rapture supposed to be like... the first step of the apocalypse? Cause I'm lookin around at the state of things right now and uh....
No plagues, no zombies, no demons. All these things are supposed to come before the rapture part. The rapture is literally the last part, not the first. It happens on the 7th trumpet blast.
We got covid, krok addicts, and republicans, it's close enough.
There have been plagues and demons for sure. Some of these politicians are definitely demons in skin suits. I just don't know about zombies. But we are close.
Yup, the skull fucking imps will be a part of the first wave of demons. Should get used to wearing helmets now to protect your skull.
How can I make my skussy more appealing to the imps?
Don't wear a hat and keep your ears clean.
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Or so few people were taken up that it just amounted to a few missing person's cases
It's all the missing prostitutes from around the world, which is either heartwarming or horrifying depending on your level of trust in theoretical God.
May I offer you my very warm hole for a few minutes? Its only $5.99! Its for a good cause!
HECK YES LETS GET RAPTORED AF
reads closer
Wait what?
raptor sauce
I got raptured but forgot I left the oven on so I came back and now they won't let me back in.
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I missed something were we supposed to be raptured today?
Maybe you, but definitely not me.
Jooooin ussss
I wish... Would probably solve the American fascism problem overnight when all the Christians vanish
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I got raptured but I was hung up on my bedsheets and just floated in the bedroom for 20 minutes. I guess I'll have to catch the next one.
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