Ask Lemmy

High Definition video Is the single worst thing to happen to porn. I need a little bit of mystery, who actually wants video fidelity so high you can see every skin tag and ingrown hair?

I mostly dislike professional porn except on the odd occasion. In amateur porn, my biggest gripe is people who clearly did not check the angle or distance of the camera before recording, so 90% of the video is the dude's thigh moving back and forth.

Even the under-the-balls angle is better. At least I like the balls sometimes.

• Prolonged close-ups and shitty camera angels in general. Do I really need to see 47 seconds of a dick sliding in and out of a pussy in 1080p?
• Seeing how badly porn actresses have aged, it seems you either quit while you're ahead, or move to Vegas get bolt on tits and lipfillers and gain 20 pounds, there seems to be no in between.
• Blood, I see even the tiniest speck of crimson red on the screen and I'm out.

I'd say everything else is just specific to taste. Something not being my kink doesn't ruin a video for me, it just doesn't interest me in the first place.

Dominant men.

Actors looking directly into the camera outside of pov shots… like c'mon, who tf wants a fourth wall break in this sort of material?

When the dialogue isn't getting picked up properly by the mics. Fair enough if it's indie stuff but if it's professionally produced, surely they could afford to shell out for a boom mic. Perhaps it's just a mixing issue. Either way, it's annoying. Idk, maybe add subs.

Just the fakeness of it

Male moans, it's why when I do watch porn I watch it muted, don't have this issue with doujins and fics.

Dialogue.

straights,

Like seriously, im not Here for sexism...

The number one thing to ruin a porn video is my ejaculating about 10 seconds earlier.

Pulling that stupid ahegao face. I don't know who that's for, but it's definitely not me.

Anytime the girl says shit like, "Oh yeah baby do you like fucking my pussy!? Does my little pussy feel so good!?"

STOP IT. STOP. IT. PLEASE. UUUUUGH. So not appealing.

Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.

Disingenuous love or none at all.

Overly produced.

""Sssss, haahhh"

Doesn't care about woman's pleasure. Blowjob leads right into sex.

She's obviously dry.

The cum is fake.

The guy is half hard pushing rope while she's pretending too hard that it feels good.

Circumcised penis, especially if it's an oral video.

Gambling site ads embedded in a video.

A grainy video shot on a tripod with no studio lights with people who actually like each other is better than 95% of the garbage that gets posted. I prefer erotica written for men over videos. Even when it's written cheesy it's still better than most videos.

slapping. no idea why that is so prevalent. I swear im not looking for it.

shouldn't there be an nsfw tag on this?

Fauxcest. It didn't use to be so prolific.

Fake moaning. Fake dirty talk

Jackhammer fucking. I dont want to see some woman have her cervix be pile drived into the ground.

The view from behind where we get to see some ugly dudes fucking hairy balls dangling.

Are some of my top ones, but honestly I dont like professional porn in general. Its just so fake.

I'd rather watch a grainy video of a couple amatures absolutely loving what their doing, than watch some stuff terrible play acting profesional porn in 4k.

Production value.

I'll take a video recorded by a married couple with an iPhone over a bunch of fake people in a fake scenario faking how much fun they are having.

Face slapping, choking, any kind of violent nonsense. I hate it so much...

And when the people won't shut the fuck up for two minutes...

Glad you asked.

I really don't like the trend of pushing the ladies' hair out of her face when she's giving a blowjob.

It just screams "this is directed and we are following the standard set before us."

The best sex is authentic, even if it's being recorded.

Also, tattoos and fake tits. Blech.

Excessive moaning. Male or female. They sound like they're having a tough shit, not sex.

"Sexy" talk that amounts to verbal abuse.

The popularity of the incest shit is weird and seems indicative of a larger issue in our society.

Degradation being the rule and not a niche.

When guys rent open the actresses' asshole like they're looking for their car keys in there.

When the guy talks nonstop through the whole video. If that's your thing then go for it and enjoy but it just makes the whole thing difficult to enjoy for me. The guy always sounds like some neckbeard who is getting laid for the first time in his life and thinks he's supposed to recite every cringe line from every bad porn he's ever seen. You're not who I'm here for dude 🤮

Ahegao

One of the actors being really not into it, faked or not.

If they aren't all clearly having fun, like in those fake rape videos, then it isn't for me.

Anything that comes across as fake, but especially long fake nails or in fact long nails of any kind. Please don't put those near any sensitive spots.

I say "comes across as" because all porn involves performance. It's about believability, not authenticity, at the end of the day.

Anytime the girl looks like she's not actually enjoying the sex. Fake or dubbed sound. Choking or slapping (see first item).

I also usually find any talking (sexy talk) to be awful. I don't have a problem with it in concept, but in porn execution, it's almost always super bad. Camera man talking is universally bad.