369

How to keep a man (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

130 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 113 points 10 months ago

My favorite. Partially digested cafeteria food.

[-] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago

It's what men crave

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 98 points 10 months ago

No seriously somebody fucking explain that chicken to me. That doesn't even look raw? I don't get it at all? What the fuck did she do to it!

I need some serious fucking answers.

[-] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 111 points 10 months ago

Boiled?

[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 42 points 10 months ago

Omfg that's it.

[-] Mirshe@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago

Definitely boiled, looks identical to the chicken my coworker brought in once. She boiled every piece of meat within an inch of its life because she didn't know how to prepare it otherwise.

load more comments (3 replies)

[-] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

Steamed?

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Steaming chicken is the most boring way to cook chicken. The only way eastern cultures pull it off is with heavy use of seasonings and sauce.

This looks like someone shoved a pepper grinder under their nose and sneezed onto this chicken.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago

Looks boiled to temp and covered with pepper. So you'll have bland, rubbery chicken with a bit of pepper and no flavor from browning.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

[-] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 75 points 10 months ago

The plate is the tastiest-looking thing in this photo.

[-] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 25 points 10 months ago

And it looks disgusting

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] jupyter_rain@discuss.tchncs.de 73 points 10 months ago

Keep him because he will be too weak to run?

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] db2@lemmy.world 58 points 10 months ago

What the cinnamon toast fuck

[-] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago

[-] Famko@lemmy.world 56 points 10 months ago

Do you keep him in prison?

[-] Funkytom467@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

The basement evidently.

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] independantiste@sh.itjust.works 45 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Same vibe

[-] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago

This looks 10x better than the OP

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] Funkytom467@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

At least here the chicken isn't RAW

load more comments (7 replies)

[-] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

That looks like it at least might have one or two spices on it besides pepper

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 20 points 10 months ago

At least it has some color lol

load more comments (6 replies)

[-] FunkyMonk@kbin.social 40 points 10 months ago

yep that would give me the shits. nice post. keep em on the toilet, queen.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

He cant cheat if he cant leave the dunny

[-] Huschke@lemmy.world 39 points 10 months ago

... sick so he can't leave you.

[-] curiousaur@reddthat.com 36 points 10 months ago

That looks so disgusting. I can't even.

[-] BustinJiber@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago

If "a man" puked in there - would we be able to tell the difference?

[-] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 10 months ago

I think that she feeds her "man" the same way penguins feed their chicks.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 32 points 10 months ago

How to keep a man ...... away

[-] robocall@lemmy.world 29 points 10 months ago

This man's shits are as runny as his cream corn

[-] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

The meal of a 1970s serial killer

[-] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 38 points 10 months ago

That killer's cereal:

[-] Fizz@lemmy.nz 27 points 10 months ago

Uncanny valley food.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Furbag@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

Raw chicken, maybe it's been boiled if we're being extremely generous.

Two different kinds of boxed macaroni and cheese.

Canned creamed corn, likely cold or lukewarm at best.

I'd maybe eat the mac, but since it's touching a biohazard, probably not a good idea.

[-] 0Xero0@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago

why does it look like vomit with someone's ball sack?

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 21 points 10 months ago

Mmm, boiled(?) chicken legs and yellow slop. My favorite.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] DonkeyShot@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago

How to keep a man: cut off his scrotum, put it on a plate and have him eat it with maccaroni and corn? 😨

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

Hi, is this meal available in bulk?

[-] stoy@lemmy.zip 18 points 10 months ago

https://theinfosphere.org/Bachelor_Chow

[-] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

c/shittyfoodporn

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

The Hague would like to know their location.

[-] PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Wow I can't wait to projectile diarrhea that into the toilet 8 hours later.

[-] skyspydude1@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

8 hours? Look at Mr. Iron Gut over here.

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] WeeSheep@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

I showed this to my husband and asked him if he would like this. Turns out rice with sides of raw chicken and apple sauce get a shudder and gag.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 10 months ago

Id rather eat drywall then look at this honestly

[-] Dio@lemy.lol 16 points 10 months ago

Well. You tried. ⭐

[-] Mandy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago

*for the rest of his life

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Toes@ani.social 14 points 10 months ago

Raw chicken and vomit, wow

load more comments

this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023

369 points (93.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26697 readers

3690 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/Explicit

Content

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

LillianVS@lemmy.world

STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world

WiildFiire@lemmy.world

Decoy321@lemmy.world

Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world

YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world