201
submitted 11 months ago by httpjames@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I've always been curious as to what "normal" people think programming is like. The wildest theory I've heard is "typing ones and zeroes" (I'm a software engineer)

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] 52fighters@sopuli.xyz 149 points 11 months ago

8 hours of meetings and 10 minutes of writing code.

[-] tekchic@lemmy.ml 39 points 11 months ago
[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago

When I was an associate level all I did was grind out tickets and write code. Now I run from meeting to meeting as a senior.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] dgmib@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

That’s surprising accurate for many developers.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] OurTragicUniverse@kbin.social 82 points 11 months ago

It involves a lot of tall girls in thigh high socks, sometimes they wear cat ears too. And they do a lot of typing on extra clackity keyboards.

[-] Rognaut@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago

College recruiters be like ^

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] ShadowRam@kbin.social 70 points 11 months ago
[-] puppy@lemmy.world 52 points 11 months ago

You just revealed yourself as a programmer.

[-] AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 69 points 11 months ago

That sounds ridiculous. It 2024, I'm pretty sure programmers just use voice input and say the ones and zeros instead of sitting there and doing all that typing. Still not sure why they have to wear black hoodies though.

[-] kaffiene@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago

There's a dress code. Very strictly enforced

[-] pingveno@lemmy.ml 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yes, and under the hoodies there are t-shirts that were given out at conferences. That or memes. Strict.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] NightAuthor@lemmy.world 63 points 11 months ago

Can’t be that many on Lemmy at this point.

[-] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 32 points 11 months ago

There are ones of us! Ones!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Nemo@midwest.social 13 points 11 months ago

I'm not in IT...

...but I did earn a degree in Computer Science.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Hello_there@kbin.social 62 points 11 months ago

You learn a special type of Spanish and somehow you make MS Word come out

[-] 200ok@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago

This one is the closest, IMO!

Is it common knowledge that programmers write code in different "languages" (e.g. Java and C++)?

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Sekrayray@lemmy.world 48 points 11 months ago

It’s like building the NY subway system—you’re constantly adding on new bypasses and trying to maintenance old tunnels in order to account for new features/population. It ultimately ends up working most of the time and the daily commuters get to move from Point A to Point B with minimal interruption, but if you viewed the subway as a whole it’s a cobbled mess with lots of redundancy. Some of the architects who are currently around don’t even know where the oldest tunnels go, or why they’re there.

Wanted to give a take on it that didn’t focus on the obvious “language” aspect. I could be 100% wrong on this—I’m sort of basing it off of comments I’ve seen here or there. I know very few folks who work in tech and I work in healthcare.

[-] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago

Honestly that's more like network engineering than programming, but you're surprisingly accurate.

[-] Jeremyward@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

This is an accurate representation of tech debt.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] NickwithaC@lemmy.world 48 points 11 months ago
  1. Type some algebraic equations into a text file.

  2. Run it through something called a "compiler"

  3. Suddenly everyone knows what the fucking weather is.

[-] xkforce@lemmy.world 47 points 11 months ago

Reads code, spends too much time figuring out what it does and why the compiler is complaining about it, find out who wrote it, open drawer of voodoo dolls, rummage through them and pull out the relevant doll and stick another pin into it. A faint scream echoes through the cubicle farm. Place voodoo doll back in the drawer, close drawer, leave for lunch

[-] pingveno@lemmy.ml 22 points 11 months ago

There's a reason we have a tool called git blame.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] gianni@lemmy.ml 46 points 11 months ago

I don't know if Lemmy is the best place to ask, lol

[-] TIMMAY@lemmy.world 39 points 11 months ago

I think its like trying to get a toddler to accomplish a task and it keeps technically doing what you said but in an annoying and counterproductive way you didnt even think of yet and you have to just become insanely specific about what you want the toddler to do and when and in what order with what timing

[-] spongebue@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago

That's actually really accurate when first learning to program. Eventually you figure out how to think like a toddler.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 34 points 11 months ago

Given that I stole this from a programming community, it shouldn't be too far off from true.

(Caveat lector: I'm not in the IT industry but I'm often messing with bash scripts and decompiled python code.)

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 34 points 11 months ago

Well idk about all programming, but I imagine hackers go through at least one keyboard a month and suffer serious finger strain injuries from typing so fast and furious.

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 31 points 11 months ago

I'm a hacker. You don't even want to know what my monthly budget for balaclavas and fingerless gloves is.

[-] lseif@sopuli.xyz 12 points 11 months ago

whats worse is how hot it gets under the Guy Fawkes mask

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Linuto@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

Swinging between feeling like you're a computer god, and then feeling like you're horrible at your job.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] roguetrick@kbin.social 29 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Playing with imaginary Legos to put together a rickety tower.

Edit: though on reflection, a systems approach to nursing the acutely ill is exactly the same but we're maintaining "God's" legacy code while we try to keep someone with kidney, heart, and lung problems functioning with judicious application of fluid management, drugs, and dialysis.

Maybe what we do is closer to Jenga.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Skotimusj@lemmy.ml 28 points 11 months ago

I would imagine it is as follows:

  1. Come up with ideas or goal to accomplish /be given said goal

  2. spend large amount of time looking at existing code or prior implementation of your stated goal.

  3. attempt to write or import some code tailored to your specific needs

  4. test and identify problem areas

  5. find everything fails spectacularly and start over +/- tears.

  6. repeat until successful or dead

[-] BillyTheSkidMark@lemm.ee 36 points 11 months ago

They said people outside the tech industry

[-] MrVilliam@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

A laughably small team is expected to do tasks that take triple the team size to do properly, and then the team gets endlessly shit on for Facebook looking different now for unrelated reasons while getting zero recognition for somehow finding a way to get some massive project done on an absurd timeline with no additional resources.

I have been in power plants for many years now. Nobody notices us until we fuck up, and then nobody ever forgets. For example, Three Mile Island.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 24 points 11 months ago

Imagine a poorly lit room. The smell of coffee permeates every inch while the Baba is You soundtrack is played on repeat. Five to fifty monkeys sit in desks and attempt to bind whatever devils are necessary to invoke the magic their leader demands. sixty three percent of their effort is actually just browsing social media and posting memes in niche online communities, but they still manage to get stuff done.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Backspacecentury@kbin.social 24 points 11 months ago

I assume it’s looking for that one space that should be a semi-colon in a sea of garbled letters.

[-] Subverb@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

This is 100% accurate.

[-] andthenthreemore@startrek.website 22 points 11 months ago

A cross between Latin and algebra.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] StereoTrespasser@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

Judging by the amount of their nonsense posted on Lemmy, I imagine programmers sitting around all day creating memes about how hard their job is.

Seriously, this is the most Lemmy-ish post I have ever seen. "I see there are people not in programming discussing non-programming topics...what question can I ask to steer the question back to programming?"

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago

You have super cool sunglasses and a chair where a needle goes in your brain... right?...

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 18 points 11 months ago

I figure it’s like what I used to do in grade school to make the turtle draw shapes in Logowriter, on an Apple IIe.

[-] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 13 points 11 months ago

And you say you're not a programmer 🙄

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] m12421k@iusearchlinux.fyi 15 points 11 months ago

I'm pretty sure most of these comments are written by programmers 🤣 reciting CSI stuff...

[-] Rubisco@slrpnk.net 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

When things get really tough, two of you will double up on the same keyboard.

1 in 6 have multiple personalities and substance abuse daemons.

Your bosses ride little skateboards everywhere, when they're not busy programming animated singing viruses.

The FBI watches you code, but has no idea what they're looking at.

A significant fraction of you can type with your feet, proficiently.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] FollyDolly@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

You guys talk to computers in the language of computers. You are trying to get the computer to do something you want. However the computer doesn't help you out, you have to tell it explicitly what to do down to the tinyist detail or it won't work and you will be sad.

To the outside observer this looks like typing gibberish and copying in chunks of more gibberish. With occasional swearing.

How'd I do? (I know very little about programming and computers, I've worked manual labor for something like 20 years.)

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Playing ping pong in an office that looks like a spaceship, while chat GPT writes code for you. 😉 Just kidding! I assume it is lots of problem solving and work around to make some feature your leadership put in the roadmap.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] grahamja@reddthat.com 13 points 11 months ago

I don't think about programming at all, no offense.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2024
201 points (95.1% liked)

Asklemmy

44137 readers
986 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS