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[-] paddirn@lemmy.world 65 points 8 months ago

Is it similar for straight women then? Do straight women get uncomfortable when they see other naked women, but it’s “ok” when watching porn?

I think the difference is the subject of the image/video. If it’s an image/video of just a naked guy with his dick hanging out, that’s the subject you’re supposed to be focused on. I’m like, “Ok, I don’t care about this, this does nothing for me.”

Watching a naked dude in porn get his dick sucked or have sex, the activity and the woman is the focus and you’re often meant to stand in for the guy. The guy becomes even more sexually objectified than the woman, he’s just this background thing doing repetitive motions so that I can see the woman physically react to it. The more generic and unassuming the guy looks, the better, I literally want nothing the guy does to call attention to himself.

That’s why older porn is so jarring sometimes because of the weird habit of cutting to the guy’s moaning face in the middle of everything. Like, what the fuck was the thinking behind that “technique”?

[-] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 62 points 8 months ago

That’s why older porn is so jarring sometimes because of the weird habit of cutting to the guy’s moaning face in the middle of everything. Like, what the fuck was the thinking behind that “technique”?

So, I am pulling this out of my ass (no pun intended) but I got a theory here. I think the way porn is consumed and its intention have shifted along with our perception and experience of sex.

Older porn seems to be more like "a movie depicting people having sex". So it shows the woman and the man having sex, touching, kissing, enjoying. Both are crucial parts of the act. It also appears like the main function is to get you horny, not to get you off. I remember overhearing older people talking about watching porn together before having sex. I know this can still be a thing, but I'd argue that most modern porn is neither made for that purpose nor directed/designed in a way that would work for this.

Modern porn, in its insane abundance, is to be consumed alone for the purpose to jerk off to, to activate some dopamine receptors or whatnot, and its notorious addictiveness that makes you want more and more intense stimuli. You don't need people for that, you need bodies.

The other thing is that sex - maybe because of the oversexualization, social media, internet, being wired 24/7, or maybe because of hookups having become so common, anonymous and risk free - has become somewhat sterile. Almost like an out of body experience. I forgot who said it - something like "we fantasize about fucking our partner while we fuck our partner". We're not in touch with ourselves and don't experience the sex we have while we have it, we are almost disconnecting from the experience. It's absurd but common.

You find this "sterility" in modern porn too; perfect bodies with no hair, no shadows, no marks of any kind, almost no body contact except the genitals. Just because there is a cumshot somewhere doesn't make it less sterile or more intimate. You paraphrased this when you described the guy standing in for the viewer, being objectified even more than the woman, being this background thing doing repetitive motions.

(Disclaimer: I'm talking about a modern "we" and and older "they" in very broad terms here. Obviously people 30 years ago had disconnected sexual experiences and anonymous hookups and people nowadays also experience concentrated, fulfilling sex in which they are very much in touch with themselves. Definitely porn was used to be wanked to in the 70s just like some couples enjoy watching porn together today. And within its insane abundance you can most definitely find modern porn that is not sterile.)

[-] Holzkohlen@feddit.de 13 points 8 months ago

Very depressing. I highly enjoyed this comment.

[-] 1984@lemmy.today 5 points 8 months ago

Very well written.

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[-] Linnce@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

As a straight woman, I don't focus on the guy either and it's weird when he gets the spotlight (although it's very helpful when he is attractive). It's more about putting myself in the woman's shoes and having the activity done to "me".

And it may be a cultural thing but I'm not uncomfortable seeing other women naked.

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[-] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 58 points 8 months ago

I'll take dick shots over a 90 second shot of the dude's face

[-] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 20 points 8 months ago

HAAAARGH!!! <= Guys red face

[-] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 10 points 8 months ago

HAAAARGH!!! <= Guys red face

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 54 points 8 months ago

I'm a straight man, and I think dicks are beautiful.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 38 points 8 months ago

I'm a dick and I think straight men are beautiful.

[-] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago

I'm a straight dick and I think man are beautiful

[-] 7u5k3n@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

I'm a beautiful and I think straight dick are...

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 8 months ago
[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 33 points 8 months ago

I'm a woman and I think they are ugly, but still want them

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 8 months ago
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[-] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 8 months ago

Not all dicks are beautiful

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 8 months ago

Here come the "NoT aLl DiCkS" people...

[-] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 42 points 8 months ago

I mean, i dont really mind either. I got a dick, you got a dick, whats the big deal?

[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 23 points 8 months ago

🎶 You've got pussy,

I have a dick!

So what problem?

Let's do it quick! 🎶

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 39 points 8 months ago

Also the average straight porn video dedicates on average about a third of the video to fallacio, where the only sexual organ we see is the penis.

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 29 points 8 months ago

Fallácio Domingo, the Spanish opera singer?

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[-] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 28 points 8 months ago

Isn't it part of the fantasy. You see the sexual things being done to the dick and it gets your horny because you imagine its your dick? Or rather fantasise about those things being done to you.

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[-] Rolder@reddthat.com 27 points 8 months ago

What about “Straight men when they see a dick but it’s on a lady”

[-] Senseless@feddit.de 9 points 8 months ago

If the person otherwise has female featurrs, I'm in. Does this make me bi or..?

[-] PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world 16 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

This is a valid preference I'm and tired of pretending it's not. Vagina, penis, doesn't matter. I am attracted to feminine features and a penis doesn't get in the way of that.

[-] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

It totally gets in the way for me. Dick does nothing for me.

[-] Allero@lemmy.today 8 points 8 months ago

We're all different, and that's alright :)

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[-] Facebones@reddthat.com 5 points 8 months ago

Doesn't matter had sex

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[-] 7u5k3n@lemmy.world 22 points 8 months ago
[-] joyjoy@lemm.ee 13 points 8 months ago

I said this in third grade and got called gay.

[-] woelkchen@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago

I said this in third grade and got called gay.

Because in the 3rd grade you were a little gay, perhaps?

[-] joyjoy@lemm.ee 6 points 8 months ago

I'm ace, so technically no.

[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 7 points 8 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

We are all a little bit gay.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[-] ricdeh@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Thank you for this, that's a real gem!

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[-] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 22 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

So I've always been confused by why it's odd that I don't like seeing nude dudes, but if you include a nude female or female doing sexual acts I'm excited about it.

Like people, it's not rocket science. She could be deep throating a goddamn banana and I'll get excited to watch it. Once naked ladies are in a scene I somehow don't even recognize that the actors are really in the scene. It's not that I suddenly like dick, it's that my attention literally can't see it.

As an example, in old school stuff they used to pan over to the dude plowing the girl, and only the dude was in the shot. That broke my attention and always had to skip it, cause, quite honestly, I ain't into being plowed by a dude.

[-] hperrin@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

It’s like when you’re watching the lady and don’t even notice the horse.

[-] John_McMurray@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

Yeah idk. Never been into "straight" porn, like I wanna look at a dude, and there's plenty of women only films.

[-] RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

I'm far too queer and ace to ever understand why heterosexual men like dick in porn.

[-] qarbone@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

As a straight man, the wording in the meme is very literal. I'm not a fan but I'll allow it.

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[-] jenny_ball@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

I'm creating a site of bg porn but ai makes the dick invisible

[-] mariah@feddit.rocks 7 points 8 months ago
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[-] EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 8 months ago

I only like man's POV porn. That's not the same thing as "seeing a dick in porn"

[-] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

I mean, there's still a dick and you're still seeing it.

[-] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 6 points 8 months ago

I also don't like dicks in porn.... Unless it's girl dick.

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this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
715 points (97.2% liked)

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