this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost
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Ability to make cheese at will.
it is extruded and harvested from your nipples
I would get the biggest fattest breast implants possible and be a stripper with a built-in cheese dispenser.
“Can I get a lap dance and some cheese for the nachos?”
The cheese is extra.
“Ugh. Fine!”
Brand new sentence?
This is a superpower thst could be in the orgy scene in The Boys, rofl.
I see no flaws in this plan
Severe lactose intolerance.
You are also able to end all wars
And are reminded of this with every cheese you create.
It's Cheez-Whiz
Alas I must make my living in Philly in the cheesesteak mines.
As word of your power spreads across the world, you become a god to cows by providing means to an end to the rape and exslavement of their species.
The combined belief of billions of cows grants you accesss to the physical and mental powers of cows. If you work to free them, you will become more powerful. And if you don't, you will be cursed to live out the rest of your days in an abattoir, where the hopes and dreams of cows go to die.
Either way, the dairy lobbies aren't happy and assassins are after you.
It lags out reality because every time you make cheese, it spawns a dozen above you, and reality just never expected this to happen. Also it's always comically large Raclette
You're lactose intolerant
You now lactate and secrete rennet. Making it possible for you to harvest the ingredients and make cheese at will.
It's all kraft singles