There's a meme in Norway for this where professionals always ask "did you try hiking?"
Seriously though did you try hiking? There are no problems in the back country. Or people.
this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2025
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This question is way above Lemmy's pay grade. I hope your situation gets better. People are right in saying that if self-help fails then it's time to give professional help another chance if that's accessible for you.
I do listen to a lot of podcasts and have recently heard something relevant from an expert in the field:
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos: How to Find Your Purpose
Episode webpage: https://omny.fm/shows/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-find-your-purpose
Your post history also indicates that you're routinely steeped in the worst doom news that social media serves up. It seems like it would be worth taking a break from consuming this material and find alternative ways to spend your time.
Such thoughts can be very overwhelming, ever present, consuming. Imagine swimming against a strong current. Sometimes it's important to just take a break. Get out of the stream and watch it rush by. Of course you can't stay out forever, there are factors beyond your reach, it pulls you back in. But the best bet to beat the pull of this vortex is to try and create as many of these breaks as possible. Small as they may be. While you rest, consider the advice in this thread. It's benevolent, you know? Consider a dialectic position. For every bad thing that pulls you down, think about a good thing that lifts you up too. Literature can be powerfull too, in that you might discover descriptions, states and emotions in which you find yourself in a way you never could phrase it yourself. It's all about a balance of "being seen", receiving empathy, regaining agency and changing perception.
Get a dog. Always happy to see you when you get home, will pester you relentlessly into moderate excercise, #1 wingman for meeting friends or significant others.
I owned a dog for brief amount of time.
Trust me, no.
The dog deserve a better human who can stay active with him.
See a professional, seriously, because this sounds like textbook early depression.
Sadly, I saw 3 different professionals, it does not work.
I was expecting that they won't have a magic phrase to say and solve my issues before I go to them and I partially went due to the advice of the people around me.
After going and finding out myself, I can confirm that I was right.
Therapy takes work, my friend. Professionals can't help you unless you want help and are willing to work toward change. If you're expecting some external factor to "fix it for you," you're going to be disappointed
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Whether it's through professionals IRL or strangers on the Internet, it'll require effort on your part. You're going to have to want to be an active participant and willing to work on yourself. It will be a process, not a single event.
What does "work on yourself" mean in this context?
Changing habits, thought patterns etc. A therapist can't do that for you, that's something you have to do yourself thus "work on yourself"
I am tired from people who talk in wide way that can be applied everywhere and would result in nothing.
To add to this, I was following therapist orders, it did nothing.
That is actually is kind of what I meant when I said that I assumed that they don't have a magic pharse, meaning that they their orders and pills sadly did not work and I was right in the sense that they were unable to solve my issues as I expected.
Your therapist should give you tools to change these things that's why I mentioned them. You have to use them and want to use them (changing your thought patterns). I see this all the time with people coming here who don't know how to proceed in life anymore and they always dismiss everything that is said to them. You have to want to change, nobody is doing that for you, they can just give you the tools to do so but ultimately it's up to you.
I was expecting that they won't have a magic phrase to say and solve my issues
That is a logical expectation because that's not what they do.
After going and finding out myself, I can confirm that I was right.
Ahh, so, you were expecting them to TRY to fix you with a magic phrase and when the magic phrase never came, you assumed that they had failed.
You got it all backwards. Those people don't fix you. They teach you, they point you in the right direction, they tell you the things your friends won't, they ask the questions you've been avoiding.
YOU fix YOU.
If the athlete doesn't show up for the competition, they can't blame the loss on bad coaching.
Also go to someone who prescribes meds, and take them.
That said, I feel you are right to hate the other humans. They are really, really stupid.
They kept making me try meds, they never work.
Therapy is a vehicle, and you are the driver. You're only going to move forward if you drive.
That being said, finding a therapist you work well with is hard, and, in my experience, takes quite a few tries before finding someone with whom you are comfortable.
My suggestion is to find someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and literally read this post to them. I've had luck using Alma to find a therapist (in the US).
I genuinely hope you are able to work through this - I've been there, as have many people. You can do this, and you're not alone
Life is like a garden. If you want to sit around and curse at the thistles and weeds, you can, but they will continue to grow as you fixate on them. If you see beauty and follow it, then cultivate it, you will be in a beautiful garden. It’s not instantaneous, and it takes work. The work starts in your mind. Negative thoughts will blind you to good opportunities. If you don’t know where you’re going, any place will get you there. Maybe a good place to start is finding the tolerable humans, and see where it takes you.
If possible, I recommend therapy. Been relying on it for decades and eventually learned to love myself. Everything good in my life now is because therapy helped me become a better person.
Did you try jerking off?
Temporary pleasures don't fill the void.
It would work for small amount of hours before returning to the void of nothingness.
Maybe smoke a joint.
We should hang out some day.
All you a girl with sweet boobage?!
No, but my wife is! 😏
Goddamn I wish I could. People describe it as pleasurable and then relaxing. But I've never been able to do it. It's like either the nerve endings aren't hooked up right or there is some sort of brain defect, but I lack the ability for pleasure there, myself.
Sorry, I'm not the OP.
I'm almost afraid to ask, but are you sure you're doing it right?
This is a discussion to have with professionals in a professional setting. No one here is responsibly equipped to answer this in a chat forum. This obviously includes me.
That being said, I do not think about the future - live your life second-by-second.
Despite what people say, life is not meant to be enjoyed. We live in a time of lawlessness and over-abundance, so people often equate life with enjoying things. At your core, you are a biological package of electrical circuits and tools. When you do something your body deems beneficial, you enjoy it (as in signals reward your brain).
If you want to enjoy, then a general tip is to return to the fundamentals. Eat healthy food, exercise, explore, learn, and talk to people in real life. If this doesn't work, then you need to speak with a professional (probably a therapist) to find what does.
Hating humans is not viable, you simply need to stop that. This is not to say let yourself be abused and runover, but you need to form bonds with people - this is our inescapable nature.
Antidepressants
Antidepressants just make you feel nothing. In many cases it's worse than not being on them.
This is not true for plenty of people. Antidepressants saved my life, and I still feel things.
I think that is called the human condition.
Psychedelics
you could start learning c++and contribute to some open sourced games out there
Learn to love yourself. And look for help. You don't know what the future will be, things can change drastically sometimes in just a few weeks.
Go burn a Tesla. They'll put you in a place where you don't have to worry about changes for a few years. And it's for a good cause.
Schedule everything then? If you’re already nothing then suffering through some anxiety to plan something new isn’t much worse than literally nothing right? So plan shit out, and stick to said schedule. Find a hobby where you can meet people you don’t hate? Music, games, fostering kittens, whatever idk.
You clearly need a community. There are millions of them, plenty accepting. Just ideally find a positive one before you end up in a negative one.
Not ironic here: I was at a very low point, and what I did was ditch everything, brought some gear to sleep outside, and decided to see how long I could stay outside with just my fishing gear.
To be fair, I brought freeze-dried food for a couple days, but after about a week I felt better enough to head back to society.
What I did that week was primarily fish for dinner and gather firewood for the evening. Did wonders for my psyke.
shit sucks
no fucking doubt about it
antianxiety medicine helps but
really you need to find you
nothing else matters.
once you can understand your self, telling others your limits and expectations is just the flow of life that you're expecting
Straight to jail
You can try my method: therapy, medication, and counting the days until I die from heart disease.
Either get used to change in the hopes it will become better, or get used to being miserable in my life you have now. By the way, you’re gonna be uncomfortable in One Direction or the other, so I suggest you choose the better one.
If you hate your life now, but are also terrified to change, you’re gonna have to decide which one is worth, and during that discomfort: things staying the same, the way you hate it, or enduring the terror of the unknown, your life, possibly improving.
I don't think you fully got me here, so let me explain it better.
I feel anxious if I have appointment with a doctor for normal test or diagnosis, I feel anxious about having any new thing introduced to my uneventful days, no matter it's significance.
You need something with regular progression to look forward to. Honestly? Start working out, and start SMALL. I'm talking just even walking. Real physical and mentally felt change happens early with no equipment even needed. There is no feeling quite like "this... actually got easier." And the progression is infinite. Literally all I've been doing lately is two curl exercises before bed and the difference is astounding, not only in mood but energy. I feel more energy during the day just by making a minimal attempt at night.
The best treatment for anxiety is to just confront it, feel anxious, and then realize on the other side it was actually fine. Won't make it go away immediately, but it'll decrease over time. Anxiety is a normal human emotion, it just gets a little to intense for some people sometimes
OK, I think I better understand where you’re coming from, but my advice is pretty much the same.
Life is changed. Constant, unrelenting change. How will you get through that and how happy you are throughout your life often depends directly on how well you can handle change in your life.
I suggest, at the very least, trying to get some practice. Resisting change will only ever make you miserable.
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