Are The Straights OK?

The right rejects nonbinary gender identities. Immediately reinvents nonbinary gender identities.

I'm a Ligma.

I know this is terrible, but I find it fascinating in a sort of juvenile, teen magazine personality quiz, collect all the dolls type of way.

We've got our Businessman, Jock, Normcore main character, Sensitive Grunge Musician, Dweeb and Rebel.

Ignoring the manosphere bullshit and blithely viewing this as a team of characters planning a heist, or potential matches in a farming game or dating sim, how is this not kind of cool?

This alpha sigma omega bs is just astrology for men

They've almost found the phi-male. Keep looking, guys!

Astrology for people who know how to get ahold of rohypnol.

From the thread, for the morbidly curious:

Alpha males are assertive and dominant. They often take charge in social settings, have high social status, and are charismatic leaders. They're the center of attention, like a CEO who can effortlessly command a room.

Examples of alpha males in movies include King Leonidas, Captain America, and Thomas Shelby. These characters are strong leaders, exhibit courage, and inspire those around them, often fighting for principles or causes bigger than themselves.

Beta males are less dominant and more agreeable and cooperative. They play a passive role in social hierarchies and crave forming relationships. A supportive colleague who willingly takes on a secondary role is a typical beta male.

Characters like Ron Weasley, Samwise Gamgee, and Bruce Banner are beta males who excel in supportive roles.

Delta males often go unnoticed in social settings. They are neither dominant nor submissive and are fairly average in social interactions. Their adaptability makes them reliable, but they rarely lead.

An individual who follows instructions well but isn't a natural leader represents a Delta male. Harry Potter, Marty McFly, and Frodo Baggins are Delta males who reluctantly take on leadership roles when needed.

Gamma males are contrarians, often rejecting or challenging social norms. Their independent thinking sometimes makes them outsiders. A rebellious artist who struggles socially but is intelligent in other ways encapsulates this type.

Tony Stark, Jack Sparrow, and Han Solo are gamma males who challenge social expectations. They are highly independent, intelligent, and a bit rebellious, making them stand out.

Omega males are at the bottom of the social hierarchy and often lack social skills. They are typically introverted and may not lack self-confidence but are generally unpopular. They are often focused on specific interests, like a nerd who prefers solitude in his hobbies.

Peter Parker, Newt Scamander, and Walter Mitty are Omega males who may struggle with social interactions but are capable of extraordinary things when focused on their passions.

Sigma males reject traditional social hierarchies and value their independence and self-reliance. They share charismatic traits with Alphas but operate outside conventional norms. A lone wolf who doesn't seek validation from others embodies this archetype.

Bruce Wayne, James Bond, and John Wick are Sigma males who operate outside traditional hierarchies. They are charismatic, self-reliant, and work alone, unfettered by societal expectations.

(He then goes on to plug several books about how to attract women.)

So Alpha males is the idea scammers sell to kids. Betas are non cunts who incels look down upon. Sigma males are people who buy into this shit but have no friends.

Wtf are Delta, Gamma and Omega males?

Edit: AND WHY THE FUCK ISNT BETA FOLLOWED BY GAMMA BUT BY DELTA!?

Seriously? Not a single Brave New world reference??!!??

Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm really awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse.”

This list is a total scam, Where are my favorite type of guys? Where is the mellow punk? where is the just a little guy? WHERE IS THE WEIRD UNKLE?! Where is the Gen ex doomer with nice sense of humor?! Where is the closeted Christian who is really kinky in bed?!

🤣 this reads like Cosmo for men. I love that for them!

they saw all the fun words that queer people have and got jealous

David Tennant is a sigma male?

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think these manosphere "men" should be put in daycare. They're clearly not mentally old enough to be adults, so maybe making "dude daycares" for them wouldn't be the worst thing on the planet.

if you're none of these you might be φ-male

Why did they flip Gamma and Delta?

Wait, so it’s like Power Rangers?

Also, why is Gamma after Delta?

Maybe the omegas could form a group. Maybe they could call it the omegaverse

Elon Musk took one look at Sigma Male and went "Yes, I am going to model my entire aesthetic after that guy" and ended up looking like the biggest dork in the universe.

I don't see fat sack of shit anywhere, so this clearly isn't all men

They'd all look a lot better if they smiled more

Where's the Ligma Male?

they’re all Doctor Who

Literally astrology lmao

Oh cool! Now men have Cosmo quizzes, too!

This image looks like some shitty alternate universe version of Doctor Who regenerations.

I wonder what an Upsilon male is. The Wikipedia gives us more options than I'd expected.

I imagine a phi male is just a bit out of phase with other guys.

A theta male always figures out his angle of approach before beginning something.

A lambda male fails at predictable intervals.

A mu male is just a guy. It may be mean to say it but he's utterly average.

And of course the omega male gets pregnant but not like in a trans way.

Curious what people suspect the other types of males are like.