this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2025
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I feel like I used to have a satisfactory layout for years but haven't since found a consistently comfortable arrangement. I like to have a fairly thick pillow or two under my head to accommodate my bad shoulder, a pillow between my thighs to avoid chafed skin, and a pillow for hugging - also mostly for my shoulder.

The head ones tend to get distorted really quickly and it's really difficult to find a good hugging pillow.

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[–] molochlar@feddit.org 1 points 24 minutes ago

I have a similar set-up, except the pillow that goes between my knees is long enough to also hug and then I usually arrange a corner of my blanket on top for extra height.

When it comes to the pillow I rest my head on, I've found that the best possible filling is little memory foam cylinders for some reason. Not shredded memory foam, which I've also tried, but cylinders. They're about the size of a finger except thicker, and make the pillow very adjustable - a concept that I always thought should make no sense since memory foam is supposed to keep its shape, and yet I've never had a better pillow.

[–] unbanshee@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Buckwheat pillow. Nice and firm, cool, and malleable.

I punch out a divot for my head so it has kind of a neck roll when I sleep on my back, or if I'm reading on my side, I punch a divot for my ear so it's not squished against my head.

Had it for like 15 years, I miss it whenever we visit my in-laws in another city.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

I tried a buckwheat pillow but found it better for sitting on that resting my head. Can you not take yours with you to the other city?

[–] monovergent@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Just an ordinary rectangular pillow. Contrast with European square pillows, which are way too big. It's served me well for the past 20+ years (yes, the same pillow) as a side sleeper.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

My oldest pillow is about fifteen years old and was one of my first purchases in my own home - it's the one I now use to about skin chafing. Back then it was for my head.

I didn't know European pillows were different, though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

[–] communism@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

One hard pillow as I sleep on my side and need the neck support. And then one bean bag tube type thing to rest my wrist on so that my arm doesn't have to be entirely horizontalβ€”more comfortable that way.

I just use the duvet to go between my thighs/knees.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Please, tell me more about the bean bag tube type thing.

[–] communism@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

It's the best way I can describe it. It's an approximately pillow-sized tube filled with the stuff they fill bean bags with.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Gotcha, thanks.

[–] frenchfryenjoyer 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

This is gonna sound stupid but I have a collapsed pillow that's like 10+ years old and I love it

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Nice! I had one of those but I think it eventually decayed too far to keep using.

[–] ZoDoneRightNow@kbin.earth 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I am sleep on my belly but slightly to the side, I have firm memory foam pillows that isn't too high for my head. The second pillow is between my legs with one going under and the other over to support the leg on the side I am facing. I used to hug a third pillow but currently hug plushies.

[–] ZoDoneRightNow@kbin.earth 4 points 8 hours ago

Also a weighted blanket year round with an additional blanket in the winter

[–] Admetus@sopuli.xyz 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I'm a freefall sleeper so even no pillow works, otherwise a pilloe has to be flat and manoeuvred under my chest to stop my neck bending.

Freefall sleepers may have a slightly lower life expectancy but I'm like 'meh'. Sleeping is nearly half my life.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I've never read that term before.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Either no pillow or the flattest firmest one in the house under my head.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

See, either of those options just sound like neck pain to me, but thank you for the answer!

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

It's the solution to neck pain, for me.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Well, fair enough - I'm glad you found something that works for you.

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

A good foam pillow under my head, a bit of my blanket between my knees. Sometimes I think about getting one of those knee pillows but so far I haven't bothered.

I won't go back to a down-filled pillow. Those will inevitably stop supporting my head during the night.

[–] MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 3 points 13 hours ago

Three pillows. One thicker one leaned up against the headboard at a very slight angle, almost vertical. Then two thinner pillows, first one at what would be a 45 degree angle overlapping the thick pillow, then the final one overlapping that one.

Only way I have been able to find comfort in pillows in the last 5 years or so

[–] TechnoCat@lemmy.ml 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

pillow under my head, pillow between my arms/elbows, and a pillow between my knees. 3 pillows total

[–] vext01@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

I hate my knees touching when I sleep too! What pillow do you use for knees?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I don't know the brand and the tags have long since worn away, but personally I've found good luck with a "standard" size memory foam pillow. Memory foam tends to get too warm under my head but hasn't been an issue for a knee pillow.

[–] TechnoCat@lemmy.ml 1 points 8 hours ago

i just have 3 standard pillows.

[–] Xaphanos@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I use a bath towel folded twice the short way. Nice and flat for back sleeping. I can make it thicker for side sleeping by folding the end under as needed when I roll over. But I use a CPAP so I don't roll much at all.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Interesting, I don't think I've encountered someone using a towel long term.

I use a CPAP, too, but toss and turn so much that I think the arm flick to adjust the air hose during the turn has become reflexive.

[–] everett@lemmy.ml 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Two thin pillows stacked and oriented vertically. Thinness is key because they're easy to fold or roll to "make" pillows of various shapes and thicknesses, to support whatever position I feel like lying in.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I've heard that before and tried it myself, but I've always found that whatever custom shape I make unravels itself as I sleep, waking me up.

[–] everett@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

It's not perfect, but having thin pillows that are a bit worn/broken-in can make then less likely to spring back into their flat shape. The way you place them can also help… for example, rolling downward toward the mattress instead of up, rolling the bottom one and placing the top one across it to hold the roll in place, or placing two half-rolled pillows in a, uh, "69" orientation so the pillows keep each other's roll in place with friction. Depending on how you sleep you also might be able to train yourself to shift position/roll over without lifting your head, but that's more of a challenge.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Well, you definitely seem like an authority on the subject!

I don't think I've stuck with this approach for more than a consecutive week or two, so perhaps I need to give them more time before they get comfortable.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

An adjustable, removable fill, cutout, side sleep pillow. https://a.co/d/aXcI4Wx

I’ve even bought one for my step mom. The brand is amazing, and removable fill is the way to go.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I've tried one of those - not that brand, a generic one - and sadly found that I tend to slide down in my sleep, leaving my head in the cutout overnight. Perhaps a nicer brand would resolve that. Thank you for the recommendation!

[–] tyler@programming.dev 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Oh interesting. I’m not sure about the sliding down, I’ve not had that happen. The one I linked holds it shape very well, the recommendations actually say you should fluff it every night but I have only fluffed it like 4 or five times since getting it years ago.

You’re welcome for the recommendation!

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I think I might have been thinking of this one.

[–] Hexadecimalkink@lemmy.ml 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

3 pillows, one in the middle that's lower and 2 on the sides to keep my giant head from shifting too much to one side so my neck isn't put under pressure.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

You know, I named my cat "Hex," short for "Hexadecimal." I don't think I'll be introducing you to her.

[–] Monster96@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I feel so boring now. One normal pillow and one memory foam beside each other for sleeping on my side or stomach

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

It may debatably be boring, but at least you know you can find comfort reliably, unlike those of us with more bespoke needs.

[–] FoxyFerengi@startrek.website 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

The best hugging pillow I ever had was a ridiculously large plushie, because the fill density was different. I haven't figured out the head pillow yet, because sometimes as a side sleeper I try to hug those, too. I've mostly landed on ignoring the shaped memory foam pillows, because even if it says "for side sleepers" it usually feels better using as a traditional sleeper

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

I haven't tried a plushy, but yeah, I also find sleeping accessories marketed towards side sleepers to generally be unsatisfactory.