this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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Programmer Humor
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Can i login with your mom?
Log in*
In Linux this could be reality
Log in with caution
Carefully... CAREFULLY!
clicks the Delete My Account Instead button
AH FUCK!
More like, "are you sure?"
Are you really sure?
Okay, but, like, are you for real sure?
Sure, just… confirm your password
Confirmation code sent to your phone
Now, log out and back in, to be sure
You sure, right? Didn't change your mind?
Okay, confirm link sent to email
Okay, but, like, take a look at what you'll be missing. Are you really sure?
Oi, I'll let you in on a secret: we got a very special deal, just for you. How about that? Sounds good, innit? How about we stop this silly thing and get back inside, so you can enjoy this sweet, sweet deal?
Aight, get it. You hate good deals, and don't care missing out on what we have to offer. Please call us at 0118**************** and explain thoroughly why exactly you're leaving. Btw, can we get that written as well? Just, y'know, a little dissertation on the matter. Just mail it over to our headquarters
Aight, just so you know, we'll have to charge a little account deletion fee. Standard procedure, here.
Hate to see you go :(
We'll miss you tons. Come back anytime!
*marks account inactive*
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I cahn't believe you've done this.
My mom says its okay to login
Half the people in here have logged in with your mom.
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We're going to return to user + password in the near future.
Please drink verification can to continue
The code is at the bottom of the can and can only be seen be shining a flashlight down it. This completes Step 1 of the verification.
Oh and it changes your pee color so it can reveal the ~~passkey~~ pisskey verification QR code on the urinal in front of you to complete Step 2 of the verification.
It costs the company millions a year but at least no poor person gets anything for free.
That pings your phone, you confirm that, which dispatches a dermatologist to your location to confirm your identity via birthmark. She hands you the frequency of a unique Chilean numbers station, you tune in to that and it reads off the one-time passcode you can use to login.
Passkeys, more likely.
so passwords (that you can't memorize) with extra steps
Half a cryptographic key that you can't easily give to someone over the phone by accident.
By convention. See for example: https://github.com/keepassxreboot/keepassxc/issues/10407
We’ve had certificate authentication (backed by hardware) for ages. We could fix the UX there and be done with it, but nooooo, we are reinventing everything again. (Tangentially related: JWT, OIDC and SAML are basically kerberos with extra steps.)
I've been using certificate based auth on https for ages on my ops stuff. Most devices support just slapping an SSL/TLS key into their os, but not everything.
But when I wanted to use it for Jellyfin, I found TVs and sticks aren't all straightforward.
In your link, they closed that ticket as not planned because they intend to implement FIDO's secure exchange protocols. https://github.com/keepassxreboot/keepassxc/issues/11363
It should (hopefully) be secure when they get done.
I mean, the passkey is still in there. It’s protected by convention. It’s a bearer token wrapped in a password manager, presented as a revolution.
We have the technology, can we please pour the same amount of resources into what we’ve already had for decades? Passkeys solve the UX issue for ”normal people”, that’s the selling point.
a very long password that (ideally) is only bound to a single device, requires a second identifier (biometric, PIN, password) and that is phishing resistant.
bound to a single device
yay vendor lock in. google or meta password manager salivating.
Bitwarden has been working great with me as sits transition to passkeys, even big corporate ones.
But yeah in practice, google and facebook are going to probably dominate because they are the easy + free option.
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i never stopped
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I knew that potato would come in handy!
My 2fa tater rotted, how do I log in?
Use a PDF of the Wikipedia article on potatoes.
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somebody actually make an app where you log in with your calculator
One more reason for me to make an OnlyFans
I'll take the XL Pancit Canton, please.
Honestly I thought it was great when OAuth started making it easy to use my various pre-existing IDs as logins for websites. But now I cant remember which one is which and my password manager doesn't give me any hints. Sigh.
Honestly that’s why I just stick with local site auth and a password manager. 1) it lets me remember things via my manager and 2) if it’s compromised, they’ll only have access to that site and not other ones I’ve used to log in with.
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It's not the funniest one, I don't have an account, and I don't live near one. But if I ever see the option to log in with Jollibee on any legit service I am already using I am switching over to that ASAP.
Login with hunter2
Always pick login with calculator, and spoof someone else's id.
Surely, potato won't sell my data, right?
No but it expires every 30 days and you need to plant it and grow a new potato before you can log in again
ah yes, the Monsanto potato strategy. I should have known
But when you grow a new potato, it won’t be the same potato…right?
Login with your mom 👩🦳
Form 137, nice.
Login with a solemn promise
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