I would poop in a different toilet

For, because I'm about consent.

if you can do something in your every day life to make someone happy, who cares if it’s weird? live life; we’re all weird; just make people happy and be happy in return

Can we then give it a tongue so I can be sure I'm clean?

Would it lick me clean or would I still have to wipe myself?

"Just pee? sigh"

I would like it to be happy, so have it beg.

Neither. I want it to be honored to accept my waste and happy to serve.

I don't think it matters. After a few weeks it would just be some annoying background noise you ignore anyway.

"Stop shitting on your hand and throw it out the window! Use me instead!"

See, this is why I hate "would you rather...?"

Why can't it just be content with the amount I feed it, why's it have to be starving to the degree that it begs?

Like this?

I'm pretty sure I answered this on Reddit once. Begged for it, assuming I have to use such a toilet and cannot just go back to a pit latrine (I've heard great things about tiger worms). Answering the other way would be cruel.

I always think about opening up this guys head and pooping in it.

Yes.

I can use all the encouragement I can get.

I'm willing to bet that some techbro either already has, or will in the near future propose an Ai toilet that will do something exactly this.

I would like it to criticize me for needing to do it, at all.