How do you get a guest to leave when they won't take the hint you want them to leave? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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[-] scytale@lemm.ee 120 points 3 months ago

Slap you thigh and stand up and say “Welp, it’s getting late…”, then say whatever you need to be doing.

[-] Hegar@fedia.io 32 points 3 months ago

Where in the Midwest did you grow up?

[-] abbadon420@lemm.ee 14 points 3 months ago

Mali?

[-] sjmulder@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 2 months ago

“So!”

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[-] wirelesswire@lemmy.zip 55 points 3 months ago

Be direct. "It's been great, but I have other things to take care of (or get to bed if night). See you later!"

[-] return2ozma@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

They literally asked "oh, what do you have to take care of?" I said "I have an oil change scheduled" and they said "oh I can go with you"

[-] Ledivin@lemmy.world 51 points 3 months ago

"No thanks"

Look, I understand, I have social anxiety, but you just need to say what you want and move on. Of they don't like it, then they don't like it - who cares?

[-] blackbrook@mander.xyz 10 points 3 months ago

This. I think this person has just shown that it's really important to set boundaries with them, and not worry if they like it.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

Or better yet, don’t assume whether they’ll like it or not.

[-] riskable@programming.dev 24 points 3 months ago

Tell them, "Sure! You can ride in the trunk 👍"

[-] return2ozma@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Hah!

[-] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

“My wife and I planned something special for tonight and I have to do my anal douche.”

[-] return2ozma@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Well, I am gay so... you're not wrong.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

"You're not going to believe this, but I brought my anal douche, just in case you wanted to douche together!"

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 17 points 3 months ago

That person desperately needs someone in their life to tell them the truth.

“I am done hanging out. I need to be alone now”

Some people are autistic and as an autistic person myself believe me when I say there is like one in ten thousand people who will actually tell the truth, and they only do it once in a blue moon.

Be that person.

[-] Maeve@kbin.earth 5 points 3 months ago

It happens. Sometimes just "I need some personal time."

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[-] Alice@hilariouschaos.com 37 points 3 months ago

Tell them straight up

"Alright well it was nice kicking it, but I'm gunna call it a night"

The end

[-] sam@southampton.social 31 points 3 months ago

As an autistic person I feel like i'm over staying my welcome sometimes, the easiest way to confront me is be like "hey, great to see you but I have other stuff to do. We should do this again"

[-] Acidbath@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

I'm not autistic but I do have a lot of fear about over staying my welcome. It has gotten to the point where I would politely ask if I over stayed or if my welcome has expired. I find that being direct is the fastest and most efficient for both parties.

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[-] Balthazar@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago

"Let's go to bed so these people can go home."

[-] Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Works especially well for brunch guests.

[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 6 points 3 months ago

That's great. I might steal this one!

[-] whatevs@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 months ago

Put everything away. Clear the food, drinks. If it’s night yawn repeatedly “well, got an early morning need to turn in.” If it’s daytime you have another thing planned. “Gotta get the car serviced.”

[-] norimee@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago

I personally say in a friendly tone "I'm sorry but I have to kick you out now because I have xxx things to do."
Add something appreciative about their visit/your meeting like "it was great to see you", "thanks for stopping by" or something.

If you are just socially spend, you could also say that. "I hate to kick you out, but I can't people anymore today/my social capacity is spent/it was all a bit much for me today."

People will understand if you are direct. We all have shit to do and limited resources.
Being honest and direkt is often less weird than dancing around the fact that you want them to leave.

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

My housemate in college would yell something so everyone looked and then take off his paints and say everyone get the fuck out, see you next weekend

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[-] ulkesh@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

“I’m getting tired, it’s time for you to go.”

Some people are just too oblivious and need things spelled out for them. So spell it out.

[-] Boozilla@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Baby Shark on repeat.

[-] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

But that's how I started the party.

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[-] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Say to your wife: "Wife, we go to bed now. The guests surely want to go home as well."

:-)

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[-] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Be direct and tell them to leave. Be polite if appropriate, but when a guest isn’t getting the message, sometimes you just need to make it simple.

[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago

"Please leave"

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[-] Twinklebreeze@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

It may help to start setting an end time. Instead of, "I can hang out at 6." Tell them, "I can hang out from 6-8." If they still won't leave you might have to be firm with them. No is a complete sentence, and you don't need to explain why.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago

“No”

“I’m sorry, No?”

“No”

“No what?”

“No”

“Should I leave now?”

“… … No no”

“No I shouldn’t leave?”

“No”

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 9 points 2 months ago

If you're Cuban, you say, "Wait, don't leave yet. I'm about to make coffee." It means you're telling them to leave after the coffee.

[-] Maeve@kbin.earth 9 points 3 months ago

"it's been fun, but I'm tired now. Look forward to seeing you another time."

[-] xylogx@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Some great advice here. I also like this piece of verbal judo: “I have taken up too much of your time, I will let you go now. I have bored you enough with my pedantic nonsense.”

[-] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 months ago

I find it annoying when people talk like this. It sounds like you forced the other person to be with you, or that you consider yourself so important that the other person would sacrifice their comfort for you.

[-] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

I start cleaning my guns

[-] finickydesert@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 months ago

Yell "get the fuck out" (jk) an alternative would be "please leave"

[-] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Serve them sausages, a Danish tradition

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[-] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

INFO: How old are they and what is their relationship to you (sibling, coworker, friend, in-law, etc)?

[-] return2ozma@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Early 30s and a friend.

[-] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Do they overstay their welcome all the time, maybe not even just at your house, but other friend's houses as well?

[-] return2ozma@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

They still live at home and hate being there.

[-] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Play Semisonic's "Closing Time" on repeat.

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

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[-] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Serve them kelp tea.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Fart loudly? Call the police?

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this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024

83 points (92.8% liked)

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