479
Stay vigilant (fed.dyne.org)
submitted 11 hours ago by jaromil@fed.dyne.org to c/memes@lemmy.ml
top 38 comments
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[-] Zementid@feddit.nl 22 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Give him the keys for his room...

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 48 points 8 hours ago

If they can't figure it out, no one tell them.

[-] abfarid@startrek.website 37 points 7 hours ago

There is no spoon.

[-] xpinchx@lemmy.world 145 points 9 hours ago

If you're pounding one out that won't really save you. He probably games with headphones and just doesn't want to get jump scares by mom.

I always had a desk and a bed and I made a point to never have my back towards the door when I was at my desk for the above reason.

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 28 points 8 hours ago

I used to almost exclusively listen to any kind of audio through headphones. I had a microphone near my desk configured so that it would pass through the vibration of footsteps directly to my headphones. I was rarely startled, no matter what sordid activity I was undertaking.

[-] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 20 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

I swear the footsteps trigger a Pavlov response in me at this point. I can even tell who it is by the footsteps

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 12 points 6 hours ago

Pavlov

As in you instantly lose an erection, because you've been conditioned to associate footfalls with a ruined orgasm?

[-] datavoid@lemmy.ml 6 points 5 hours ago

I can only get off if I hear approaching footsteps

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

I used to be able to do that, too! These days, I live with two people: an adult wife and a toddler. Their gaits are pretty easily distinguishable.

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago

Wow was that hard to setup? Any special equipment needed?

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Honestly, that was some 25-30 years ago. It was pretty simple to setup back then, but it might not be the same now, especially in Windows.

[-] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

Same for me at work. But I use a mirror from Aliexpress.

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago

"And when we hide porno, we go all out. It ain’t behind the refrigerator or under the bed. No, we become Batman when it’s time to hide some porno."

[-] lousyd@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 7 hours ago

Because it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more!

[-] black0ut@pawb.social 77 points 10 hours ago

It's for boosting Wi-Fi reception, don't worry about it.

[-] foggy@lemmy.world 120 points 11 hours ago

Fap with one eye ooooopen

Gripping your tube sock tiiight

Exit porn...

Enter mom....

Move your hand

And hope your boner doesn't stand

[-] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 62 points 11 hours ago
[-] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 61 points 11 hours ago
[-] gregor@gregtech.eu 11 points 9 hours ago

Thanks, I hate it

[-] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 26 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Maybe he broke his arms.

Broken arms meme, we meet again!

Motherfucker!

[-] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

That's one way to describe the guy, indeed.

[-] late_night@sopuli.xyz 11 points 8 hours ago

All I think of is this now

1000008748

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 2 points 7 hours ago

Butthead's a Lefty?

[-] arandomthought@sh.itjust.works 13 points 11 hours ago

I have no idea where that came from but alright... Here's your well deserved upvote.

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 22 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

They reworked the lyrics to Enter Sandman.

[-] Hackerman_uwu@lemmy.world 5 points 8 hours ago

The rework is titled: ‘Enter sockman’.

[-] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

At least it was a sock and not a coconut.

[-] arandomthought@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 hours ago

I know, the melody somehow started playing in my head from the first line. I still don't know why they did it but I'm not complaining.

[-] billygoat@catata.fish 4 points 9 hours ago

My first thought was Last Resort.

[-] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 1 points 8 hours ago

Holy crap that works too well. Have my plastic fork!

[-] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago
[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml 17 points 10 hours ago

Partially heeding the advice of Thufir Hawat

[-] lemmyseizethemeans@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

I would know by the sound of your footsteps mom

Aye. That he would

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml 3 points 8 hours ago

The weirding way

[-] sirico@feddit.uk 4 points 9 hours ago
[-] bruhduh@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Seems like new musky brand coming up

this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
479 points (98.6% liked)

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