this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2025
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Egg interceptions up 116% so far this year, while seizures of fentanyl down 32%

top 37 comments
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[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago

The trick is to hide your eggs in your fentanyl.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 87 points 1 day ago (3 children)

.............we live in the dumbest timeline.

[–] TheGreyGhost@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It’s been dumb for a while. During the Norwegian butter crisis (a shortage of butter in Norway), people would smuggle butter.

Edit: fixed factual errors in my comment.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_butter_crisis

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 9 points 1 day ago

We really do. If i wasn't so certain this was reality I'd expect to wake up soon.

Sadly, im already awake.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

i mean we live in capitalism...

jokes on them i already cracked my egg

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well he won the war on drugs, by making eggs more valuable than cocaine.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago

Honestly that's a better strategy than whatever Bush was doing

[–] oppy1984@lemm.ee 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Narco subs filled with eggs any day now....

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] foggy@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories, maybe it'll come true?

I put together a little short story about how I would like to see Donald Trump meet his demise. Drowning in eggs:

The Eggsecution.

The once-proud leader, now stripped of title and dignity, stands in the center of the barren, concrete abyss. The abandoned Olympic swimming pool—thirty feet deep, dry as bone—has become their final stage. Above, the gathered masses stretch in every direction, a writhing sea of anticipation.

They do not jeer. They do not boo.

They simply chant.

"Eggs. Eggs. Eggs."

It starts as a murmur, a low thrum of human voices vibrating in unison. Then it grows, swelling into a deafening roar that rattles windows, that shudders in the bones of every person present. A chant as ancient as it is absurd, a single-minded invocation of punishment.

The first egg arcs high overhead, tracing a lazy curve before splattering against the fallen leader’s shoulder. The yolk bursts, oozing down his baggy, ugly, now-useless suit. A streak of yellow, the first of many.

Another egg. Then another.

Then dozens.

The first impacts make them flinch, stagger—hands raised in a futile shield. But soon there are too many to dodge, too many to deflect. They curl inward as the sky rains viscous judgment. The chant never stops.

"Eggs. Eggs. Eggs."

Shells crack. Yolk drips. The scent of sulfur and shame thickens in the stagnant air. It coats their skin, their hair, their pride, turning them into something less than human. Something… egg-like.

At the top of the pit, a child—no older than seven—steps forward. They hold their egg with both hands, cradling it like something precious. Reverent. With a deliberate motion, they lob it downward. It strikes the leader square on the forehead, exploding with an almost musical plap. The crowd erupts into a fresh crescendo of cheers, but the chant never falters.

"Eggs. Eggs. Eggs."

No escape. No reprieve. The pit is smooth concrete, slick now with raw egg and humiliation. They can do nothing but stand there, endure, become part of the ritual.

Somewhere in the throng, a vendor hawks boiled eggs. Another sells cartons to the unprepared. A man in a chicken suit waves encouragingly at the crowd.

The night wears on, but the spectacle does not end.

It cannot end.

Not until the last egg is thrown. Not until the last voice is hoarse.

Not until the world is rid of this one, failed leader, broken not by swords or exile, but by the inescapable weight of public yolk and scorn.

"Eggs. Eggs. Eggs."

[–] Embargo@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago

This is fantastically written. Well done! The dark acceptance of necessity is palpable.

[–] genuineparts@infosec.pub 14 points 1 day ago

I thought they wanted imports? So now when people take it into their own hands, like the brave entepreneurs they are it's also wrong....

[–] Shdwdrgn@mander.xyz 17 points 1 day ago

People are just too impatient. Don't they know Trump promised to bring down the prices on his first day back in office? /s

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How much could one egg be, Michael? Ten dollars?

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A local grocery store is selling, I kid you not, single eggs for a dollar.

No bulk pricing. One loose egg. $1

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

Last time I was at the store eggs were $14 USD...

Glad to see they have their priorities straight

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHahahahahhahaahahaahhaah

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

So I know eggs are used in a lot of products.

But I don't eat eggs by themselves. I get my protein from tons of other things. I get that like, you can't make pancakes or cake without an egg. But like I don't enjoy egg-based sauces for whatever reason.

Are eggs really that vital that the price gouging can't just be boycotted?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 1 points 15 hours ago

Not only are they completely unnecessary, theyre also causing climate change. We need to shift away from eggs and meat just as much as coal and oil

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Eggs ~~are~~ were one of the cheapest sources of sustainable protein for many low-income families in the US.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 1 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Beans. Its always been beans.

[–] kalleboo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What's amazing how high they were already in 2024

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I for one, do not support eggs getting high.
Next thing you know they'll turn into murder chickens.