Happiness
this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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You're also broke, because money can't buy happiness
Superpower - Simon the likeable. I come across to everyone as so calming, disarming, friendly and persuasive that I can convince anyone to do anything just by talking to them.
Everyone who interacts with you immediately forgets who you are or why they are doing what you convince them to do as soon as they stop seeing and hearing you. They will continue to do as you instructed them, but they won't know why. Once it's done, they will continue life as though they've never met you unless you introduce yourself again.
Don't just hand them steroids??
I can now shoot fresh spaghetti from my fingertips. Each fingertip shoots a continuous spaghetti noodle at an alarming rate with a range of about 4 feet. My thumbs will shoot a delicious meat sauce at a comparable rate and range.
The spaghetti accelerates
While you can shoot spaghetti and meat sauce out of your fingers, it is incredibly painful. Each noodle bores a new hole through your finger tips every time you do this, and your pasta therefore doesn't pass health inspection
Even though it's delicious, it's violently spicy. Just like wolverine you feel every thing.
You never are within 25 yards of an Italian
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Ohh! this *is *a nice game!
Ok, my superpower is ... Autism!
You now have autism, but you don’t know how to use it appropriately in social settings.
But it's borderline and every doctor feels the junkyard pastiche of coping mechanisms you've developed over the years is good enough (it's not) and so they refuse to prescribe medication to help you
You didn't say how much: you're gifted at one thing, but you're now nonverbal and every sensation is overwhelming.
When a lemmy user responds to me with a side effect, I can, by choice, reflect or absorb said side effect
But you get no superpowers.
From now on, neither do you
Oh no! My number of superpowers has reduced from 0 to 0!
When I’m completely naked I’m invisible.
Uncontrollable farts
I see this as a bonus!
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The ability to the cat
The cat does the dislikes
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