Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
Idiocracy is now a fucking documentary.
How much you want to wager, the "mainstream" media will be sporting a boner over this gala event?
I really wish people would stop saying Idiocracy is a documentary, it's not. President Camacho was able to see his shortcomings and hired the smartest man in the world to fix things, that's not happening in real life.
Idiocracy is something for us to aspire to.
Office space is still a documentary right?
Fuckin A.
Been saying this for a year now
But we did hire the smartest man in the world:
Elon Musk
/s
And in 2030 he'll be having immigrants fight to the death for their freedom.
I feel like a more realistic timeline for that is 2027 at the very latest
It wouldn't surprise me if it happened next week.
They are not winning freedom. Winner gets a pillow for 1 night in Alligator Auschwitz.
Plot twist, death is their only freedom
Didn't Stephen King write a novela about that?
Bringing back mandingo fighting
For context, his Big Idiot Bill passed, but polling on it has been horrendous. This is another distraction.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-scrambles-to-defend-his-megabill-after-savage-polling/
Of course it's a distraction "panem et circenses" for the people! It's so close to old Rome you might throw in a Roman salute here and there.
Based on Musk's black eye, I would say that Trump's White House has allready seen at least one fight
This feels really psychotic. All of this really makes me want to question reality. Are we in a simulation? Are we an experiment by an advanced alien race, and they're tweaking parameters to study us?
Trump is like a grade school bully, in a lord of the flies scenario. He's got all this power and he's bringing in his bully friends and they're doing shit grade school bullies would do with all this power.
And all the people who voted for him...
None of this makes any sense. The end is nigh?
I think the mistake we (myself included) tend to make is assuming people have any intelligence on average.
Can we please stop getting sidetracked by "trump might eat green cheese 2026" please?
I hope it's as successful as his birthday party
Rehabilitation!
Biff Tannen has become president.
Trump VS Obama? I’d fucking watch that.
Celebrity Deathmatch.
I'll allow it!
it would be quite difficult for trump to even walk, especially like a centaur, and his pants is full of shit.
Musk v Zuck
Are we finally gonna get the Musk vs Zuckerberg showdown?
musk's MOM gave him a hallpass to excuse him from it. doubt he can fight an ANDROID like zuckerberg also knowing BJJ.
Well, as they say, if you put a clown on the throne, he does not become king. The palace becomes a circus.
“What’s this? IT’S BERNIE SANDERS WITH A STEEL CHAIR!”
This is how we get real life to look like a video game. Imagine page boys and interns in their little suits hooting for martial violence like the background of Street Fighter. What a time to be alive.
I’m not sure how satire outlets can write headlines anymore tbh.
"Trump's new tax on the wealthy will help million of low income families"
That's honestly the only Onion title I would fact check at this point.
This is some hick-ass shit.
The White House lawn will be turned into a monster truck track next.
Why not? Honestly why not? I would at least be entertained.
…
fucking of course.