this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2025
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The wine is just for the adults

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Pretty solid meal. Looks fancy. I agree with whoever said grape juice in a wine glass. Anything in a wine glass makes it fancy, actually.

I am trying to remember what my kids wanted at that age. I think they mostly would have requested chili. Did feed them lots of different things and all grew up with good broad palates.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 2 points 20 hours ago

Weirdly my daughter (whose meal this is) used to like spicy food. Especially pork rinds and spicy pickles, but now she won't eat it. Being a kid is a funny thing.

[–] IcedRaktajino@startrek.website 97 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 51 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Thankfully, she did not ask for "all the bacon we have".

[–] IcedRaktajino@startrek.website 21 points 2 days ago

There's always next birthday lol.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What you may hear is, give me a lot of bacon.

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

What I said is "give me all the bacon you have".

[–] brem@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Ron would laugh at the broccoli and ask "Why is the things I feed to my food next to the real food?"

Edit: word

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It’s got cheese on it and Ron is a man of taste.

He’d eat this shit like it was Tammy II’s tuna tunnel.

[–] brem@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

Not the broccoli. I love broccoli, but Ron does not. Watch 'Parks & Rec'. Specifically the episode where Rob Lowe cooks him mushroom steaks. Or the episode where he cooks the pig. Do you even know 'bout Ron Swanson.

Ben ass mofo. Get in touch with lil Sebastian.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Ron wouldn't be caught dead eating stunted trees.

Edit: missed the contraction.

[–] Batmancer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Maybe if it were jammed into a Paunch Burger.

[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 52 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Fucking same, apparently, that looks great to me, shit.

Maybe switch to more bitter grapes, and maybe use something like ... a mix of gouda and feta with the broccoli, pour over after slightly steaming the broccoli?

Throw in a slice or two of french bread?

That's a feast for a king as far as I'm concerned.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Gouda and feta?

I used to an actually respect you.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Why wouldn't you?

Its a perfect combo for not only gloriously blasting your tastebuds, but also ass blasting out the creamiest of farts.

As the saying goes:

Get behind me, Satan.

(Mix in some asiago too, to taste, of course)

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 39 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The wine is just for the adults

Awww... But it's their birthday!

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago (3 children)

We still (😭) live in the US, dammit!

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You can do lots of stuff in the US. Just don't get caught!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Pretty sure giving alcohol to your own children, in your own house, is just fine. Hell, kids are allowed to partake in drinking the communion wine at church.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah but then you'd have to go in a church.

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

People often say "god is everywhere", or whatever. Just invent a religion and decree that your house is a church of it.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

As a bonus, it also works for tax evasion.

[–] Smeagol666@crazypeople.online 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If God is everywhere, He's up your ass too.

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And also up yours.

God is up all our asses on this blessed day.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Speak for yourself, Ken M

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I've never given my kid alcohol, but I think the reason kids can have communion wine is that the law addresses a blood alcohol level. This is to accommodate things like communion wine and medicines, like NyQuil, that have small amounts of alcohol as one of their ingredients. (This is based on a post I read back when I used Reddit.)

Pretty sure that if a legal authority saw you hand your five year old a beer or spirit, they'd have something to say about it.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

It depends on the state. In 31 of them, it is totally legal for a parent to give their own underage child alcohol. Most of them also specify that it's only allowed inside your home or as part of religious ceremony, so even there you could be in trouble if you're giving little Timmy a whiskey sour out in public.

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[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_drinking_age

Seventeen states (Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Florida, Kentucky, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Wyoming) and the District of Columbia have laws against possession of alcohol by minors, but they do not prohibit its consumption by minors.

Fourteen states (Alaska, Colorado, Delaware, Illinois, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Wisconsin, and Virginia) specifically permit minors to drink alcohol given to them by their parents or by someone entrusted by their parents.^[citation needed]^

Many states also permit the drinking of alcohol under the age of 21 for religious or health reasons.

If you're in one of the above states, it's probably fine as long as you're with her. As a backup, just invent your own religion that has a special ceremony at age 5, consisting of this exact meal, with wine.

[–] psivchaz@reddthat.com 3 points 2 days ago

I mostly assume it's one of those "don't get crazy and get caught" situations. You let them taste some alcohol every once in a while so they don't get weird ideas about it and go too hard when they get older. But we're talking tastes, not shots. If they show up drunk with alcohol poisoning, I suspect you will have to answer some unfriendly questions to answer in all of the states. (Also, I mean, it's bad for them. Don't do that.)

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

A daughter with such refined tastes is a treasure

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

She's great. It was between this meal and chicken nuggets for her I think lol.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

A very expensive one, to be sure.

[–] lazynooblet@lazysoci.al 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The fact it is a bit of cheese melted on top and not cheese sauce triggers.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

It's melted Velveeta with some milk in it to make it runny. My plate here was last to get made so it sort of re congealed.

[–] EveningPancakes@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

As a father who fails at trying to convince my 3 year old daughter to try something else besides Mac and Cheese and grapes every.single.night for dinner, you're winning at this parenting thing.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

Thanks! This kid will eat anything. Her little brother is a nightmare to feed...

[–] Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Aside from the grapes that's a hella fine dinner. Heck I'd even do the grapes but fancy . Good life choices here. In my day my day was the metal man Swanson fried chicken dinner with the brownie.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Grapes are awesome, frozen grapes even more so. Not only are they ~~grape~~ great by themselves, but you can use them in lieu of ice cubes to keep your drinks cold without diluting them.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (6 children)

At least you won't have to eat your spaghetti with ketchup and mustard like my youngest wants. We indulge him, but I'm hoping he'll grow out of it, honestly. Any leftovers on his plate are always inedible because he wants fuckin mustard on all his shit.

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[–] commander@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

When I was 5 I also liked the leafy broccoli part. Tolerated just a bit of the stem

[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 7 points 2 days ago

I'm an adult and I still don't like the stem. But I'm more strategic about it now. Save the stem for pot pies, stir fry, etc. use the tops for everything else!

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

Stem is my favorite part honestly. But I'd rather not cook it, just cut the hard outer layer off.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Pretty sophisticated meal for a 5 year old

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

She specifically requested steak bacon and grapes. The bacon we thought was kinda weird for dinner, but it was a surprisingly satisfying addition.

The next few days will have to be salads to counter the fat though.

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[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

At fancy get-togethers, my step used to serve some sort of red or white juice in Bordeaux glasses for the children, when adults had wine and sparkling juice in flutes when when we had champagne. It served two purposes: it prepared children for adult formal events while also making the children feel more important. And if a kid's table was necessary, yes, an adult sat with the kids, to assist as necessary.

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[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 4 points 2 days ago

Get a glass of grape juice for the kids it looks like wine snd comes in a wine bottle

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