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Vision as a service (startrek.website)
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[-] RagingSnarkasm@lemmy.world 125 points 10 months ago

Have you considered employment with HP’s printer division? They could really use someone like you.

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 56 points 10 months ago

I tried to print out their application, but for some reason my printer bricked itself after I bought some 3rd party ink.

[-] assembly@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago

Friend of mine said he tried inserting a third party cartridge and his HP printer pulled a gun on him.

[-] DoomBot5@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

I knew this guy whose HP printer shanked the delivery guy as he was delivering third party cartridges.

[-] Old_Fat_White_Guy@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

I went to the supply closet today and saw with my own two eyes 3 HP printers had our only Brother printer cornered. I backed away slowly and told no one.

[-] Stache_@lemmy.ml 12 points 10 months ago

You can’t just leave a Brother behind like that

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[-] holycrap@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago

My hp printer drank my beer

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 6 points 10 months ago

I installed third party cartridges and the printer printed out a legally signed document stating that it was now the legal owner of my house.

[-] wonderfulvoltaire@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago

This was a plot in an iron man comic.

[-] Xzi@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

This was a plot in Repo! The Gentic Opera.

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 4 points 10 months ago
[-] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 10 months ago

Superior Iron Man! The lead up to the story is: a lot of Marvel heroes were magically turned evil, things happened and they all were returned to normal, EXCEPT for Tony, who somehow managed to avoid being returned to normal AND hide that he was still evil, and went on to do some decidedly "modern billionaire tech bro" horrible shit with his advanced tech.

What a fucked up storyline. Still a good read, though.

[-] vrek@programming.dev 47 points 10 months ago
[-] Deello@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago
[-] can@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

Any sufficiently advanced technologu

[-] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

This is why I truly believe letting private companies administer ANY healthcare is a risky proposition.

A replaceable contractor or supplier is fine, but fully relying on a company to not go bankrupt, with something as invaluable as eyesight, is just plain stupid.

Government should have bought-out the company. I feel like society owes it to the people who got the implants. Ideally all healthcare and any critical software should be government owned or maintained so that there is never a risk of going bankrupt.

Private health is such a scam.

[-] Oiconomia@feddit.de 26 points 10 months ago

Is there a free tier where really annoying advertisements are constantly displayed in your field of view?

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

Yes, and we're all currently subscribed to it.

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 4 points 10 months ago

Just a second, I think I can hear Keith David and Roddy Piper brawling in an alley.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I love the hell out of that movie, but that scene is like the cinematographic equivalent of trying to pill a cat.

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[-] Pika@sh.itjust.works 22 points 10 months ago

in reality the genie is like "man who needs a monkey paw when this guys around"

[-] MimicJar@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago

Twist: Payment is on the form of a text or other short note telling you something memorable they saw, a relative, a friend, a flower, a tree, a cat, a dog, the list goes on. The emotional impact of these notes cause you to weep. Your heart grows. You can't stop crying. Dehydration sets in. That growth on your heart, it's a tumor. You die. It looks like the Joker killed you. Genie always wins.

[-] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Genie always wins.

Not if you do like Timmy Turner did and use one of your wishes to get an attorney who will write up an airtight contract ensuring the genie can't do any funny business with your wish.

Edit: also should mention that Norm the genie was voiced by Norm MacDonald

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago

Genies don't do monkey's paw. They are literalists

[-] MimicJar@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

In the 1994 Disney classic "Return of Jafar" the thief who finds genie Jafar wishes for treasure so Jafar transports him to a sunken pirate ship full of treasure where he nearly drowns and I think is almost eaten by a shark.

So your can twist literal. In this case I did the same. Lawyered.

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[-] wolfshadowheart@slrpnk.net 2 points 10 months ago

Twist twist: you only charge .20 cents for a subscription cause there's a shit ton of blind people and you'd still be a millionaire in 3 months.

Twist twist twist: once you're set for life all future profits go to non-profits and charities, funding millions of dollars for restoring vision.

Twist twist twist twist: in order to continue the overall positive of charity, you start working on ways to cause blindness again so their subscription goes to other charities

[-] pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

That's functionally how life works if you wear contacts, so 🤷

[-] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

Or glasses. Or need eye drops. Or glaucoma medication. Or have literally anything other than unchanging 20/20 vision lmao. At least in the US

[-] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago
[-] slazer2au@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

For only €20.20/m you too can have 20/20 vision.

[-] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 12 points 10 months ago

Tony Stark did it first.

[-] serpineslair@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago
[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 10 points 10 months ago

That should have been the first wish

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Nestle already has that patent.

[-] Bonehead@kbin.social 8 points 10 months ago

Wow...I almost didn't recognize Kurt Angle. I'm getting old...

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[-] ilikecoffee@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Why does this make me think of Neuralink...

[-] taanegl@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Becomes Elon Musk 20 years from now, when NeuroLink has actually become useful.

Congratulations, you turned into an elite old fart who can barely clear his bowels.

The Jin strikes again! The apex troll of the Arabic mysticism!

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[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 6 points 10 months ago

I'd pay $20/m for basic vision, I think you're a little short-sighted, pardon the pun.

Rather than only focusing on the blind and visually impaired, just make everyone have to pay you for the privilege of sight.

[-] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 10 months ago

Don't give them any more ideas.

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

If vision isn’t free, then seeing isn’t believing!

[-] SAF77@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Sounds like a win/win to me.

[-] sagrotan@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Elon? That's you?

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Wouldn't it be easier to just wish for money?

[-] beefcat@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Easier, yes. But nowhere near as much fun.

[-] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

But then you wouldn't get the full billionaire experience

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"Is it really making money if nobody gets fucked over?"

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this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
712 points (98.0% liked)

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