Maybe they became self aware and could no longer live with themselves knowing their family history.
this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
737 points (99.2% liked)
Not The Onion
15173 readers
3396 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Definitely for sure a spontaneous battery fire. Couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to commit arson on some low-poly neofash shitboxes. No sir.
And if anyone saw any evidence to the contrary... No we didn't.
But wait.....what if......and hear me out here.....what if they caught fire as a result of people rebelling against a facist takeover of our government?
What if......
Far more likely that they set on fire because they are poorly designed an Musky boy is dismantling any and all safety regulations for his death traps.
load more comments
(3 replies)
America? Becoming fascist? That seems super, super impossible. Our current president, who dresses like an orange, and is a convicted felon and sexual molester, would never allow something so heinous. He works so hard for us. Did you see the great job he did raising the price of eggs? If that's not love, I don't know what is.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Imagine making a car so bad that when 4 burn up you can't tell if it was arson or just them exploding cause they're bad.
Can you also imagine seeing a Tesla burn, and since you are very anti-Musk the cops accuse you of Arson and your principle defense is, 'but your honor, my client did NOT burn the car. It just went up by itself!' and that is what gets you off.
Your honor, in my clients defense, it be like that.
Fuck, you right. Case dismissed.
I love that the truck is so shitty we don't know if ppl blowing them up or they blowing themselves up.
Designed so bad they commit seppuku.
This cracked me up so hard. The videographer knew what the were doing.
Pffft, you got a link to that video? That HAD to be intentional.
I didn't realize it's Komo, they're owned by Sinclair. For those of you who don't know, they're super Christian Nationalist. https://komonews.com/news/local/four-tesla-cybertrucks-destroyed-in-fire-in-seattles-sodo-neighborhood-elon-musk-doge-federal-jobs-cut-protests-seattle-fire-department-investigation
I wish billboards were illegal. 1, they are distracting while driving and 2, this is a load of crap. There is not any evidence that god exists.
They’re illegal in Maine. I never saw one outside of television until i was fully an adult.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Seriously. Billboards going away would restore so much beauty to the world.
I'm asking for a fictional novel I'm writing. I'd like to describe my character in detail rigging a Cybertruck to burn but making it look like it was a spontaneous battery fire. I intend my character to believably get away with this crime.
Can anyone help me with detailed steps how this fictional character would fictionally accomplish this feat. Fictionally, of course.
That character could use employee diagnostic access into the cars as they are always on the Internet. SSH into them, get into the battery controller and do myriad things. Set the thermal management into permanent heat mode. Disable thermal management 100% for the next time the car is driven so it can’t cool the batteries (good for getting rid of pesky rodents like muskrats that try to live in them.) Mess with the charge controller in general so it overcharges, undercharges. You name it. All sorts of fun things one could add to that book depending on your plot.
Make sure while your character is hacking the battery controller though, that they set the car stereo to play Dragula by Rob Zombie at full volume. For effect.
These idiots were dumb enough to design Teslas like computers rather than cars, so a whole lot of stuff was designed like a crappy cell phone rather than the proven design principles of automotive engineering.
load more comments
(16 replies)
it’s probably from the Twitter cyber attack
CYBER attack, CYBER truck.
Yes. Yes I see.
Ukraine is getting really good at this! /s
The irony considering they'd be doing it with Starlink connections is amusing to consider.
load more comments
(1 replies)
It’s funny either way. In case it’s arson, though, I hope whoever did it gets away clean.
Whoever it was was with me all day
Same. It was a great day, and their alibi is rock solid.
Are your cars shit or do people really fucking hate you?... Or both. Imma go with both.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Don't name your car a Tesla and then be surprised when the battery arcs
Haha, four "spontaneous" battery fires. Yes, that's what happened. Close the investigation.
Or one that spread to three more cars. Fire is known to do that kind of thing.
"Fire spreads?" - Elon with a look of visible confusion after ordering his lots be filled to capacity with rolling lithium dumpsters.
load more comments
(2 replies)
it's a tesla so it should automatically be concluded that it was a spontaneous battery fire.
Musk found out that the most recent batch had battery issues where they would spontaneously explode.
So he paid a bunch of arsonists to go out an torch a bunch of Cybertrucks so that he could have plausible deniability.
Teslas are going to be expensive to insure.
I would not put it past Musk to have put a "self-destruct" function hidden in the code for these things, and is remotely killing them so they can blame it on protestors (also, take the insurance money).
Just like the pager attack, or in silicon valley with the hooli phones. I figure musk could turn these things into self placing IEDs he can trigger remotely with a software patch. Maybe some discharge parameter change or something.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Either possibility is equally funny!
I'm shocked they didn't just leap to arson and are considering other things. Teslas are known to randomly catch on fire.
Well you aren't supposed to let them get wet.
that's not true! you can moisten them with undiluted alcohol. you're actually supposed to when you get a fingerprint or something on them to prevent rust. maybe don't lie to make cybertrucks look worse. meanie.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Looking at the videos and reports, first the dumpsters I mean trucks were not actually that close to the fence where they could be reached through it or have something thrown through it to reach them. The fence is heavy duty dense chain link and wasn't tampered with. A witness who saw the fire start said no one was nearby, first it started sparking then burst into flames. So unless someone did it via software or some other clever way, I'm assuming this was a spontaneous battery combustion that spread to nearby vehicles.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Somebody should have told Elon to model his life after an engorged clitoris. He's spent so much time as an unwashed flaccid foreskin that he has no idea which bad decisions led to this.
view more: next ›