this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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They get to the bottom of whether chess against a grandmaster could be won with remote-controlled sex toys

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[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 66 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I mean no study is really conclusive without reproducibility. I should probably study it as well.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 24 points 2 years ago (3 children)

A single person is too small a sample size really. I'll join your study

[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 12 points 2 years ago
[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 years ago

Fine. Fine. You talked me into it.

No, no, I'm already set with the equipment.

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I too will join you in this Quest to further truth and understanding.

[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 9 points 2 years ago

ok but just so you know the average chess game consists of approximately 40 moves, but one game ended in a draw after 269 moves and lasted 20 hours and 15 minutes.

[–] Mirrorgiraffe@kbin.social 9 points 2 years ago

Relevant username

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 59 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Do yourself a favor and watch the video. However funny you think it is, it's better.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 25 points 2 years ago (4 children)
[–] nyahlathotep@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 years ago

watch in a private window

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

Use piped, then.

[–] Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

You can also delete it from your history.

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 48 points 2 years ago

I don't care who you are, this shit is genuine cyberpunk comedy.

[–] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 47 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It's all fun and games, until you have to explain to a person you are playing chess with, that you just orgasmed because of the vibrating butt plug, you are using to cheat at said chess match.

[–] PoastRotato@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is that better or worse than explaining that you just orgasmed because you just love playing chess?

[–] Plopp@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Yes, yes, YES!

[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago

"If you don't nut during the match you aren't fit to be a grandmaster." (Anatoly Karpov)

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 36 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

I mean, they have vibrating but plugs, that can be controlled remotely by an app. Each move would be instructed with 2 number pairs. Each pair represents a square on the board- normally they’re identified by letters running left to right (from white’s perspective,) a-h, and a number 1-8 (white’s home row is 1).

The first pair is the starting position, the second pair is the final position, so you pulse out four numbers with a pause between them, and that communicates the move.

The person with the remote app (that can be used across the internet, for the record,) watched a live feed and plugs in the move an opponent makes, and reports back the chess ai’s move.

Bzzt-bzzt—bzzt-bzzt-bzzt-bzzt-bzzt—bzzt-bzzt-bzzt—bzzt-bzzt-bzzt-bzzt-bzzt-

Would instruct a move from the pawn in E2 to move to e3,

Just a guess; though, these guys just wanted to shove a vibrator up their ass… no judgment.

[–] YerbaYerba@lemm.ee 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If you had a pitch perfect butt, you could pulse different frequencies to make the transmission faster. Ideally 8 tones, so just 4 pulses each time.

[–] Wrench@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago
[–] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

You only need one buzz: This position is good or this position is bad. That’s all a top level player needs.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

E2 to E3 would be (I'm changing the numbers to just count out the buzzes to make it easier. E is one short buzz.):

Buzz. Buzz buzz.

Buzz. Buzz buzz buzz.

(Now imagine the old notation "King's Bishop takes Queen's Knight")

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

for the record, it's not any formal notation. but the board is a grid of 8x8. I should have put it as 5x buzzes for 'e', and 2x' buzzes for 2, but, uh, y'all get the idea. (so my sample is actually 2e to 3e, but details)

there's actually no need from a move-calling perspective to identify what is on that square, or what's on the square that's being taken. There might be for tournament rules in chess, though, since the scorecard is a record of play for things. I'm just pointing out the technical feasibility of it.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have no idea what you're saying. The letter E in Morse is one short buzz.

The old way to denote moves didn't use the grid notation. It called the pieces "King's Bishop" and "to" or "takes" then describes the piece being taken. The joke is imagine typing that out in morse code, instead of the much shorter letter and number.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I have no idea what you’re saying. The letter E in Morse is one short buzz.

I'm not using morse. I'm using a direct encoding of numbers to letters. basically its a coordinate system- 2,5 - 3,5.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

You also wouldn't need to give every move. The difference between a grandmaster and a super grand master might just be a few moves. You could just indicate which piece to move and the player could infer the rest. Or just indicate whether to take or not.

[–] jopepa@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Light the Piped Bot Signal

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Scribbd@feddit.nl 8 points 2 years ago

Something about hobbits to Isengard.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=AqqQ-xNAcCw

[–] dimeslime@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's Always Sunny had an episode like this. Now I know it's based on a real story. How rare.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I’m surprised you hadn’t heard of it, it was pretty widely published as one might guess from the topic.

[–] dimeslime@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

I probably had, but I also probably erased it with some beer later. These days I only know and retain YAML.

[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 years ago

AnarchyChess approves.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What if they just played the match in a Faraday cage? That should effectively block any signals afaik.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

People will find other ways to cheat. You can't really prepare for everything. That's why a buttplug remote control was in the news. Some years ago, one chess player was accused of hiding a chess engine in her lipstick, since she used it a lot as a tick.

Look I'm traditionally of the argument that societal degradation narratives are overblown, but the fact that videos where people shove things up their own ass seem to be getting more common every year is a pretty good point in favor of them.

[–] havid_dume@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago

Some Scandinavian journalists did the same thing last year at the time of the scandal as well.

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 years ago

I feel like this is a plot for a hentai doujin in the making.