this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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(sorry for the Daily Mail link).

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[–] Chainweasel@lemmy.world 150 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

If he stole all of the right shoes, that means everything's left.
And if everything's left, did he take anything?

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 64 points 2 weeks ago

He seems like an all right guy

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 weeks ago

If the shoe don't fit you must acquit.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

There's plenty left: all the wrong ones.

Seems pretty sinister of him...

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 2 points 2 weeks ago

I dunno, I have 2 left feet so win win for me.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

(☞゚ヮ゚)☞

[–] Postingllamas@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You looking for a job as his attorney?

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Prosecutors hate this one weird trick!

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.today 46 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

To be fair, stealing all the right sided shoes from a shoe store just to irritate Barry Allen is absolutely something Thawne would come up with.

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 3 points 2 weeks ago

This sounds like leftist propaganda.

[–] Jailbrick3d@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

also could be the plot of a Phineas and Ferb episode.

BEHOLD, MY RIGHT FOOT SHOE STEAL INATOR

[–] Redacted@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Bet the store owner was hopping mad.

[–] Illogicalbit@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

There must be something wrong with this man’s sole.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

That joke was already made in the article.

[–] Redacted@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I didn't read it as it's the Daily Heil.

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

There's an article?

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 29 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] MummifiedClient5000@feddit.dk 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish that I could say that it isn't right, but.....

[–] boydster@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

In fact, it seems it was all right

[–] RotatingParts@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 weeks ago

All that was left was left.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 weeks ago

If you only take what is right then you will never be wrong.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago

In B4 someone blames the Left

[–] DirigibleProtein@aussie.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If it’s wrong to take the right shoes, then would it be it right to take the left shoes?

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It would be right to take the wrong shoes.

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[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

He must've been desperate, he's got nothing left

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ksigley@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

I can appreciate this kind of mayhem.

[–] BubblyRomeo@kbin.earth 8 points 2 weeks ago

He's too far into the far-right spectrum!

[–] mrfriki@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

A righteous man, I see.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

What are you gonna do, chase him? With only your left shoe?? This guy's smart

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

….why? Was it just the display shoe or something?

[–] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 weeks ago

There’s an old myth about a shipment of playing cards. The guy buys a whole container of playing cards, but removes the same card from all packs. The shipment is confiscated and later sold for almost nothing because the packs are all incomplete. He then buys the shipment and restores the packs. All this was cheaper than paying import duties.

Maybe this guy is playing a long game.

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 3 points 2 weeks ago

I wondered too and bravely ventured onto the dailymail website when the comments left me hanging. Your hunch was right, the only this i can add is that he walked out

seemingly unaware that they were not matching pairs

[–] DicJacobus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Dumbass stole an odd number of shoes.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I'm just saying, renaming your store to "53 Shoes" after this would be really funny.

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

who steals a shoe(s)? honestly!

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Someone with one leg.

[–] NeuralNomad@lemmy.cafe 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 3 points 2 weeks ago

There was an old wacky-crooks story about a one-legged man who kept getting arrested stealing display shoes from shops when they matched his remaining leg.

[–] Draegur@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

Invite a lot of really bad dancers to buy all the left shoes for cheap

Well we do have a sense of humour

[–] BeNotAfraid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

What did he do with the wrong ones?

[–] modus@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Probably gonna sell them on onefoottwoshoes.com

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My guess is he has a new romantic interest who is one legged that he's trying to impress.

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Is her name Peg?

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