this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] don@lemm.ee 75 points 2 months ago (5 children)

An apparent male lawyer, who committed fraud, seems to at some point have told this woman – who’s sexual preference I’m not even vaguely concerned with – that she’s part of a lesbian cabal of witches… who are specifically trying to destroy… his marriage…

Huh. That’s some fuckin outerdimensional level of mental gymnastics right there, holy raging badgerfuck

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 70 points 2 months ago (3 children)

"We are a powerful cabal of witches who wield the unlimited powers of Satan."

"Yes! What shall we do, then?"

"Why, fuck up Gary's marriage of course!"

[–] don@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No higher calling, no greater purpose. Fuck your marriage specifically, Gary!

Job well done lads. Off we go.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Job well done lads.

Hahaha the rest was funny, but somehow that tipped me over the edge, the image of the cabal of lesbians referring to each other as lads.

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[–] Pissmidget@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do you think they're related to the sinister gay cabals that are responsible for Figgis' room arrangements in Archer?

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

With our powers combined...

[–] alaphic@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Ah, at last, the truth behind the Gay Agenda^by ^Lisa ^Frank (TM)

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I have a feeling that Gary's wife may just not like him very much. Not sure how exactly the lesbian witches are involved, but enquiry minds would like to know.

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[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

He's such a nice guy, he'd never have sinful thoughts about her of his own accord. Lawyer senses kicked in, ipso facto, quod erat demonstrandum, abra cadabra: witchcraft.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I mean, his wife might be really hot.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

And really into witches.

Maybe she asked him to wear a sexy witch outfit for their frisky Friday, and he never got over it.

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This comment reminds me of how my ex-bf became my ex after he told me he cast a love charm on me. I don't belive in Magic, but I can't trust someone who would think that the magical equivalent of a rookie is a good idea to do to your boyfriend

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

I think you're on to something, raging badgerfuck does sound like it'd be on the list of marriage-enders.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 months ago

I guess the treat vector would be that they'd be Magicking Her Into A Lesbian

[–] Una@europe.pub 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hmm interesting that people who make conspiracies about LGBTQ+ people are usually ones doing some scams or something worse hmm interesting, I wonder why?

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You're gonna get a kick out of the oh-so-very-ironic overlaps between reich winger conventions and massive spikes in Grindr traffic in said areas during such. Whatever could it mean?!

[–] meyotch@slrpnk.net 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It means that I have more low quality prospects to sort through to find a decent lay. The Republican Butt Monsters are quite easy to spot but it still takes effort I would rather spend relating to healthy human beings.

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[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Every accusation is an admission, as always

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Gary is a cabal of gay witches confirmed.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago

He wishes his life was that interesting.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 2 months ago

The lesbian witch cabal can't stop winning

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 35 points 2 months ago (2 children)

She's not putting up much of a defence.

As an aside, do the lesbian cabals have enough resources to get on with the destruction of western civilization, or do they have a gofundme, or something?

[–] Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Most of us in lesbian witch cabals just call them polycules, and the more powerful ones always need more help :p

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Aha! So you finally confess, but it's too late now! We've long known you for a witch, SQUIRRELANNA!

Hope you live a long and happy life with your lesbian witch friends and that if you have a moment, keep fixing the world by making rotten scumbags loose their licenses and what other mischievous deeds are fitting for such a cabal.

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[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago
[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I wanna party with a lesbian witch cabal.

One of them would be really good at fixing cars and machines, one of them would be real into gardening, one of them would be very bookish.

They could borrow my wife anytime for use in their evil sex magic. We'd get up to hijinks and shit.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

OK that does sound like a fair portion of the lesbian polycules I've known lol

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

And kids, if you work really hard on your studies of lesbian polycules, you can become a Captain too!

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
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[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like she's a pretty powerful witch if she ruined his marriage and his career.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't want to take anything away from the witch cabals, but guys like these have a tendency to light themselves on fire, the problem is usually when they bring down their family along with them.

[–] match@pawb.social 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

i would say that, if black magic exists at all, it's predominantly about causing guys like this to burn themselves down quickly and cleanly

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[–] 1024_Kibibytes@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Director of Cybersecurity @EFF / Co-founder of @stopstalkerware

That's a very powerful witch.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago

There's no context there it's just people replying to the comment who clearly also have no idea what this person is talking about. At no point is any additional information provided.

[–] peregrin5@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago

Little did Gary know, they were after his law license. Not his marriage.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 months ago (4 children)

God I wish I had the context though

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[–] lath@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would like to point out that Thanos made some guy's life miserable just because. So a cabal of lesbian witches looking to destroy someone's marriage is just as much possible. And I say this with the consideration that both are fictional and thus not bound by the rules of reality.

[–] gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Too bad there are probably still supreme court justice and almost certainly high level DOJ employees who would like to burn lots of us at stakes, but, hey, one down

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